Introverted and Intuitive (INFP)

I've often wished I could find Martin Schulman's book on the Moon's Node online because it is such valuable information about your spiritual life path.

Well, I have found the next best thing (!) Here online are full excerpts from Schulman's book. The meaning of the Moon's Node in each sign is introduced with a link to another page.

Why not start here with Aries. When your South Moon Node is in Aries, the North Moon Node in Libra .

Warning: it is customary to feel completely busted after reading these. So much energy is moved around. It will be a healing after you get over the disrupt.

You can also find FREE excerpts from these well known educational astrologers by clicking here >>> I don't know how respectful this is of copyright laws but for the time being, it's convenient for astrology students who don't yet have these books in their professional libraries.

Georges Muchery The Astrological Tarot
Isabel Hickey Astrology, A Cosmic Science
Martin Schulman Karmic Astrology: The Moon's Nodes and Reincarnation
Mohan Koparkar Lunar Nodes'
Donna van Toen The Astrologer's Node Book
Haydn Paul The Astrological Moon
Bruno and Louise Huber Moon-Node Astrology
Bernice Prill Grebner Lunar Nodes: New Concepts
James Braha How To Be A Great Astrologer'

If you need to know where your Moon Node is, email me and I will get this valuable information to you free of charge. Please enjoy this incredible resource.

Following up on Markets as "decision support systems" ...

The Iowa Futures Market run by the College of Business Administration, University of Iowa, predicts election results.

Results from a dozen years of operations, click here.

What do you think about this ... is it morally sound? What are the ethical issues?

Solar Eclipse Update, downfall of the mighty ...

1. Billie Boy Clinton, bypass surgery ... plenty of Libra there, Mars, Neptune, Venus, Rising, and Jupiter. Click here for chart >>>
   
2. Christopher Reeve, also Libran chart ...
   
3. Yasar Arafat? Pluto goes on his Saturn in January 2005 and he has just had Saturn cross his Ascendant recently, lots of pressure. As for Libra, he has a Libran IC. I give a lot of weight to the IC. You can see why. See Arafat's chart.

A reminder, the Solar Eclipse was in Libra, October 13 at 21 degrees. The more recent lunar eclipse on the 28th was at 5 degrees Taurus. Lunars don't bring down the mighty.

I think we might hear something in the news about the Dalai Lama soon as well.

Nancy R. Fenn is the Saturn Return expert in America [shown here (l) with Emilil Dunbar (r) at a presentation in Omaha, Nebraska, the OM Healing Arts Center.

Someone recently asked me how I do my charts. This is what I replied:

The mathetmatical part of astrology is done by computers these days but the interpretation is an art. You will get a slightly different interpretation depending on who does it, their expertise, experience, intelligence, grasp of human nature, training in psychology and counseling, ability to render insights into English, individual resources, integrity, commitment and so forth.

In me you have a dedicated professional who has made this a calling in life.

Read more >>>

Do you remember reading about the Futures Market on Terror Attacks? Here's an excerpt from a New York Times article by Carl Hulse..

WASHINGTON, July 28, 2003

The Pentagon office that proposed spying electronically on Americans to monitor potential terrorists has a new experiment. It is an online futures trading market, disclosed today by critics, in which anonymous speculators would bet on forecasting terrorist attacks, assassinations and coups.

Traders bullish on a biological attack on Israel or bearish on the chances of a North Korean missile strike would have the opportunity to bet on the likelihood of such events on a new Internet site established by the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency.

The Pentagon called its latest idea a new way of predicting events and part of its search for the "broadest possible set of new ways to prevent terrorist attacks." Two Democratic senators who reported the plan called it morally repugnant and grotesque. The senators said the program fell under the control of Adm. John M. Poindexter, President Ronald Reagan's national security adviser.

One of the two senators, Byron L. Dorgan of North Dakota, said the idea seemed so preposterous that he had trouble persuading people it was not a hoax. "Can you imagine," Mr. Dorgan asked, "if another country set up a betting parlor so that people could go in -and is sponsored by the government itself -people could go in and bet on the assassination of an American political figure?"

After Mr. Dorgan and his fellow critic, Ron Wyden of Oregon, spoke out, the Pentagon sought to play down the importance of a program for which the Bush administration has sought $8 million through 2005. The White House also altered the Web site so that the potential events to be considered by the market that were visible earlier in the day at http://www.policyanalysismarket.org/ could no longer be seen.

But by that time, Republican officials in the Senate were privately shaking their heads over the planned trading. One top aide said he hoped that the Pentagon had a good explanation for it.
The Pentagon, in defending the program, said such futures trading had proven effective in predicting other events like oil prices, elections and movie ticket sales.

"Research indicates that markets are extremely efficient, effective and timely aggregators of dispersed and even hidden information," the Defense Department said in a statement. "Futures markets have proven themselves to be good at predicting such things as elections results; they are often better than expert opinions."

According to descriptions given to Congress, available at the Web site and provided by the two senators, traders who register would deposit money into an account similar to a stock account and win or lose money based on predicting events.

"For instance," Mr. Wyden said, "you may think early on that Prime Minister X is going to be assassinated. So you buy the futures contracts for 5 cents each. As more people begin to think the person's going to be assassinated, the cost of the contract could go up, to 50 cents.
"The payoff if he's assassinated is $1 per future. So if it comes to pass, and those who bought at 5 cents make 95 cents. Those who bought at 50 cents make 50 cents."

The senators also suggested that terrorists could participate because the traders' identities will be unknown.

"This appears to encourage terrorists to participate, either to profit from their terrorist activities or to bet against them in order to mislead U.S. intelligence authorities," they said in a letter to Admiral Poindexter, the director of the Terrorism Information Awareness Office, which the opponents said had developed the idea.

The initiative, called the Policy Analysis Market, is to begin registering up to 1,000 traders on Friday. It is the latest problem for the advanced projects agency, or Darpa, a Pentagon unit that has run into controversy for the Terrorism Information Office. Admiral Poindexter once described a sweeping electronic surveillance plan as a way of forestalling terrorism by tapping into computer databases to collect medical, travel, credit and financial records.

Worried about the reach of the program, Congress this year prohibited what was called the Total Information Awareness program from being used against Americans. Its name was changed to the Terrorism Information Awareness program.

This month, the Senate agreed to block all spending on the program. The House did not. Mr. Wyden said he hoped that the new disclosure about the trading program would be the death blow for Admiral Poindexter's plan.

The Pentagon did not provide details of the program like how much money participants would have to deposit in accounts. Trading is to begin on Oct. 1, with the number of participants initially limited to 1,000 and possibly expanding to 10,000 by Jan. 1.

"Involvement in this group prediction process should prove engaging and may prove profitable," the Web site said.

The overview of the plan said the market would focus on the economic, civil and military futures of Egypt, Jordan, Iran, Iraq, Israel, Saudi Arabia, Syria and Turkey and the consequences of United States involvement with those nations. The creators of the market envision other trappings of existing markets like derivatives.

In a statement, Darpa said the trading idea was "currently a small research program that faces a number of major technical challenges and uncertainties."

"Chief among these," the agency said, "are: Can the market survive and will people continue to participate when U.S. authorities use it to prevent terrorist attacks? Can futures markets be manipulated by adversaries?"

Mr. Dorgan and Mr. Wyden called for an immediate end to the project and said they would use its existence to justify cutting off financial support for the overall effort. In the letter to Admiral Poindexter, they called the initiative a "wasteful and absurd" use of tax dollars.

"The American people want the federal government to use its resources enhancing our security, not gambling on it," the letter said.
source: NYT



The thing is, repugnant as this may be, I knew it would work. I recently had this corroborated in Wisdom of Crowds. Not that I needed it corroborated, being intuitive. But in this book, the rational mind of an economist put into words and developed a theory as to why it works where intuition just "knows" it will work.

How do I know? Because we psychics experience this phenomenon all the time. I often speak with cops, who do, too. We have this in common. We have years and years of experience with the real lives of people which others do not. We are not permitted to live on the surface of things. We never take anything at face value.

We know things about people eventually we wish we didn't know. This is a cause for burn out.

One day at work 25 years ago, someone "anonymously" posted a nasty cartoon about someone else on the bulletin board. We all knew who did it. One day a couple came for a reading, horrified that "someone" had disemboweled their pet cat on their front lawn. I knew who did it and excused them from my presence as soon as possible (the husband did it, don't ask me why). I don't spend a lot of time on crimes and murders but generally have a sense of who dunnit. And also why they did it. But the, so do you. If you'd let yourself know.

In big and little ways, everyone knows everything. We are trained for social reasons not to know. But we know. We can uncover this ability. It's the very instinct that used to keep us alive when we were closer to animals.

One night I was driving back from the desert with my daughter. We pulled into a cafe off the road. From the moment I sat down at the counter, the hair on my body stood straight up. I knew there was a killer in the room. I bought a cup of coffee and left without haste so as not to disturb the energy of the person, so he wouldn't know I knew. This is the residual animal pelt, our hide. Like the hairs on the back of a dog. It's s shame when we are taught not to trust our instincts.

I'm going to go way out on a limb here and suppose that most of the people who would participate in this thing are men. What motivates a man more than money? You'd be sure to get their best "bet" and it would be a good one. For hundreds of years, maybe a couple of thousand, men have been oriented toward money, providing, surviving, foraging, hunting. To get their best instincts, tying it into money is the natural path of least resistance to their best thinking. There's something right about this, not wrong. It just is what it is.

I wish there were some way to justify this morally. It cuts right through our conscious collective values at a number of awkward places. We don't like to talk about death in America. We deny most of what is going on in front of our own noses every day because it isn't supposed to be going on but it is. We ignore statistics in favor of platitudes and righteousness. Psychics don't/ can't do that. We are nonjudgmental, objective, neutral. We have been trained to look at what is really happening. Or perhaps we never got trained not to see it. This is called a gift? Most eastern religions describe this position of neutrality as the position of wisdom and power. It is the only way to see what is clearly going on and to react appropriately.

This is why I always wanted to be in the field I'm in. I wanted to be where real things were talked about, good bad or indifferent. I wanted a greater sense of reality, an expanded sense. This means being open to as much reality as I can possibly stand at any given time :-)

What if everyone in your family bet on when your father would die. That probably makes your skin crawl. But in a sense everyone knows. They know because of a million things they don't want to know they know. But it could actually put years on his life if everyone spoke about it. We can change the future.

There's one sentence I keep in mind, given me by the Archangel Rafael. It is the truth that heals and nothing but the truth. I have been warrior for the truth and this is why.

A reader comments on the election astrology:

... But then we have the VOC moon issue [Void of Course Moons are important in horary astrology, the predicting of evenets] - no presidential candidate nominated on the VOC moon has been elected - at least not as long as this has been being noticed. I checked around and asked whether several astrologers thought this meant the actual nomination or the acceptance of the nomination. The answers were all over the place. So then I asked Richard Nolle (Astropro) who firmly believes it's the actual nomination. I think he's right.

So if that's true Bush will be re-elected. Kerry was both nominated and accepted on the VOC moon - Bush not.

This will be interesting.

I'd predict Bush, too. "But he will live to regret it" [predictive formula]. This is from transits that are taking place to his birth chart.

Tobin Barnes in the Black Hills Pioneer Press sez:

Question: "What's the ratio of introverts to extroverts in the human population?"

Answer: "One to one. And if that ever gets out of whack, either Ralph Nader or Robin Williams is going to be President."

Will you be able to see the lunar eclipse tomorrow? Click here >>>

What will the eclipse bring? It is followed by a unique alignment in the heavens that forms a perfect pentagram.

Aries: The eclipse It reveals the missing ingredient in your quest for happiness.

Taurus: A miracle comes when you forget everything you know and open your mind.

Gemini: You may get an unbelievable opportunity.

Cancer: A chance to rewrite the past ... or the future!

Leo: More power than even you know what to do with.

Virgo: Smoothing out a recent hectic creative cycle.

Libra: The solution to a sticky financial problem.

Scorpio: Many changes in the world around you and with key players. Take your time and figure it out carefully over the months ahead.

Sagittarius: You will fulfill an obligation that means a lot to you, with means at hand that you didn't know you had!

Capricorn: Much inspiration among the daily routine but it lights up your life like a comet!

Aquarius: A better life and the ways and means are revealed.

Pisces: You will find the balance you need in an important area of life.

The October Eclipses and the Election ???


My readers want to know about the election. I'm a 9th house person with a historical perspective and something doesn't get on my radar screen if it's less than 50-100 years in the past. I'm interested in the very broadest perspective possible, including "world" events, anthropology and evolution as well as history. It is not possible to have a good perspective on an event until some time has passed. That's my orientation and so I don't do American politics.

Terry Lamb has an excellent discussion that begins this way ...
"What does an eclipse mean? Conventional astrological wisdom states that an eclipse, any eclipse whether lunar or solar, highlights and expands the effect of a planet it touches.

"If this is true, then Bush should be a shoo-in: His Jupiter, the "great benefic", is exactly contacted by the solar eclipse on October 13. In addition, he is about to go through a Jupiter return, which usually confers honors and successes. This is nearly simultaneous to his Saturn return, which puts a focus on his ability to take responsibility. The Moon, representing the public, will be in his sun sign of Cancer on election day.

"But what is the flip side of this? My studies of eclipses have told me that the manifest events that we associate with eclipses occur on the lunar eclipses. Every eclipse event that I examined occurred on the lunar rather than the solar eclipse. The solar eclipses in contrast were associated with the nadir or dark point of a situation. This perspective on eclipses -- the darkening aspect -- has been noted by both the Babylonians and the Chinese. In the Chinese I Ching, there is a hexagram that is specifically about an eclipse, referring to its darkening and suppressing influence.

[Nancy's note: The I Ching hexagram she's referring to is #36 Darkening of the Light Although Lamb doesn't mention this or perhaps doesn't know this, in ancient times, a solar eclipse specifically portended the downfall of someone great, such as a king.]

"If the final debate, which occurred as the eclipse was transpiring, is any indicator, this will be true. Bush was unable to directly and effectively answer many of the questions posed to him. This election will be a test case for the theory of solar eclipses, because the lunar eclipse does not favor Bush unambiguously.

"If Bush wins, it will indicate to me that solar eclipses serve to brighten rather than darken the points they contact. The solar eclipse supports Kerry's chart, with the eclipse-chart stellium (planetary grouping) in Libra trining Kerry's Gemini stellium. Since the eclipse-point trine happens across the heavens from the natal stellium, they are allowed to shine more brightly, just as stars shine more brightly in a sky that is darkened by an eclipse. So Kerry's measured and intelligent approach (Gemini) were allowed to shine through at the last debate. ..."

Terry Lamb is one of the most intelligent and keen astrologers observing current world events and politics. Visit her site for more information about the election and the candidates. Click here: >>>

Response to reader who has the eclipse taking place on her Ascendant:

Good question! Some people actually feel a little dizzy. The Ascendant as you may already since you know the degree and sign of yours is the place where the rubber hits the road, where the body contacts the earth horizontally, where "reality" is created in the day to day sense of the world. When there is something important on the Ascendant, others treat you differently which then changes your self concept.

I would expect something to happen that would change your look at life, perhaps a very subtle thing that doesn't "hit" you for quite some time, eclipses are subtle and have an influence that lasts at least 6 months, like absorbing moisture in to a paper towel.

My guess is that as a resulit of something that happens around now, you begin to look at others very differently, and begin to elevate yourself a bit-- Libra Rising has a tendency to see everyone as "the same", not quite like an Aquarian but in a certain sense, for example ... my Libra Rising mother had four children, two of whom did not like chocolate but she would cut the chocolate cake into four exactly equal size pieces, considering this fair. Interesting kind of logic.
So, if that were your chocolate cake, you might suddenly begin to consider, does someone deserve a bigger piece, is someone better off not having any at all, does someone prefer something else, what's really fair here? Maybe you'll start buying cakes that you like, too!!!

Let me know what happens!!! I would be very interested to know if there is something observable.

Nancy

I found an article in The Washington Post today (Family Alamanac) by Marguerite Kelly called Giving a High Schooler A Break in the Action about an introverted teen.

The article concludes this way. :

... And the next time some hyper-parents tell you what your introverted son should do, listen to your gut instead. You know him better than they do.

She recommends: "The Over-Scheduled Child," a wise and wonderful book by Alvin Rosenfeld and Nicole Wise (St. Martin's; $13.95).

Read the article.

Saturn's Return to New York, a novel. I love the way this begins ... "When Chloe, her next-to-best friend, gives her a complete astrological reading for Christmas, Mary Forrest thinks, "Really, I'm a little disappointed. I was hoping for a Coach purse like she has or maybe something in cashmere." Then she is told, "It's not gonna be an easy year, this Saturn Return. Every loose thread must be tied up now, or wait for the second return at fifty-eight. A lot of strange things are going to happen. You'll see." And she does.

Is this accurate? A little bit. Is it dramatic? Yes.

Learn more about the real Saturn Return >>>

What is the Saturn Return? I'm the nation's Saturn Return expert and I'm here to help you understand this all important period in your life. This is one of my missions in life. There is little in our culture that prepares us for the magnitude of the Saturn Return and it consequences, not just immediately but for years to come. Sad but true, if the first Saturn Return is not handled consciously, the second one can be fatal! But read on ... there's an exciting alternative.

You see, the Saturn Return isn't just for people between 28-30 years old. It is just as important when you have your SECOND Saturn Return. This occurs when you're between 58-60. I'm just as interested in reaching second Saturn Return people as I am those in their late twenties. As the nation's Saturn Return expert, I want you to anticipate the amazing changes that can come between 58-60 that usher in a fruitful and meaningful new stage of life. And I really mean this. It isn't about the "golden years" of advertisements. It's about something genuinely pure gold ... something akin to the metal the alchemists were looking for.

There is nothing in our culture that prepares us for this!! Many people between 58 and 60 are shoring themselves up with a stockpile of supplies, waiting to die. They surround themselves with provisions, people and other "evidence" of security for "old age". They turn life over to their kids -- ask them what's new and they tell you what their adult children are doing!! This is not living. This is waiting to die. Life is for the living. What about YOUR life? There will be new things on the other side of your second Return if you catch the wave.

You see, the second Saturn Return is intended to welcome in perhaps the most exciting cycle of all, a new cycle, the waning cycle. This is a cycle not of sitting around waiting to die but of GIVING BACK. I personally believe that mentoring becomes the #1 most significant and health affirming activity at this time in life.

My father mentored many people during his life. He was very successful in his career and a born teacher. He genuinely loved his work and he loved people. But there was one young man in particular he mentored intensely when he was in his late 50s and I remember thinking, "Why this is one of the most meaningful relationships my father has ever had!" It was very inspiring for me to do the same and to look forward to that time in my life. I always have an apprentice and as I get older it becomes a rich experience. After all, our own kids don't want to listen to us anymore!!

If you're not 58 yet, begin to position yourself for this ... get a second Saturn Return mini reading for free and let's see what YOU have to look forward to.

If you're coming up on your first Return (between 28-30 years old) and you want an idea of what will happen, look at the people in your life who are between 58-60 -- you work around them, shop with them, they teach your kids, maintain your car -- look what happens to them.... Yes, some put themselves out to pasture and that's the end of it. But some make vital changes and begin an exciting new stage of their life. The amount of change that can occur at an age when our culture leads us to believe we're just going to settle back with what we have and wait to die is just amazing!

Of course for people who are unconscious in some areas, there may be serious health issues to deal with around 60 as a result of the stress of having led a life which was not meaningful and now needs radical pruning. Still, it can be done. The result is renewed vitality and interest in living!! Truly, a new lease on life.

This is how Rob Hand describes the Saturn Return. I like the simple way he puts it: "Consciously or unconsciously, you are pruning your life of everything that is not relevant to what you really are as a human being. If this process is not happening consciously, you may experience a sense of loss for the elements of your life that are coming to an end now. However, do not dwell upon these losses, for they are necessary in order to clear the decks for the major period of action in your life. "

This statement is just as true for the second Saturn Return as it is for the first!

Email me for your mini reading today. Let's get excited about YOUR future.

Many ICONS have Saturn in Leo.

Camilla Parker-Bowles' name has become synonymous with "The Other Woman". She has Saturn in Leo in the 12th house, like Lawrence of Arabia. During her first Saturn Return, Charles married Diana. Perhaps during the second Return, Parker-Bowles will finally have her prince.

Take a look at the THE OTHER WOMAN survey for a sympathetic and revealing discussion by real life women who have been ... "the other woman".

It's almost Saturn in Leo time.


Saturn first goes into Leo on July 17, 2005 but the Saturn in Leo people are starting to feel it because I'm getting more and more mail from them.

The countries of Pakistan, India, Israel and Palestine will also be celebrating their second Saturn Returns in Leo.

When Saturn was in Leo some important things happened in the Middle East. In 1799 Napoleon invaded Egypt and discovered the Rosetta Stone which has helped us learn how to translate hieroglyphics.

When Saturn was in Leo in 1917, the Ottoman Empire officially ended, permitting Winston Churchill and T. E. Lawrence shortly thereafter to carve up the current Arab States in the Middle East (1921).

When Saturn was in Leo in 1975, the Civil War broke out in Lebanon.

T. E. Lawrence (of Arabia) has Saturn in Leo

Speaking of T. E. Lawrence, this magnificant man has Saturn in Leo. Born August 16, 1888. Lawrence, a Welshman, was an eccentric, rebellious, desert-loving, messianic, Oxford-bred British Army officer, who aided the Arabian Bedouins in their revolt against the Turks (allies of Germany) during World War I. His extraordinary knowledge of the politics and culture of the Mideast permitted him to succeed.

At his first Saturn Return, Lawrence was sent to Mecca on a fact-finding mission. His book Seven Pillars of Wisdom: A Triumph remains a classic for all Arabists. Here's a link to his chart.

In order to better understand the Middle East situation, I'm reading SEVEN PILLARS OF WISDOM.

Looking at Lawrence from the perspective of someone with Saturn in Leo, here is a man whose immortality has transcended even his desire and hope for immortality.

The book is wonderful, the moreso for having been written by a man of action. He is very "cheeky", romantic, passionate, detailed, shrewd, self effacing, modest, knowledgeable and a great writer.

The book is very readable. It is a classic. And I recommend it for a greater understanding of the Middle East today.

Lawrence has Saturn and Mercury conjunct in Leo in the 12th house, also conjunct Sun in Leo in the 1st house conjunct Venus ... all that Leo charm and charisma!! (Sun/Venus people, regardless of the sign, are usually exceptional looking and often charming and adored by their "public").

Mars square Saturn, Moon opposite Pluto, Venus square Pluto. (And you think you have a difficult chart.)

The Moon is in Sag. This is a fiery kind of guy.

North Node at 29 Cancer in the 12th. The usual reading for the 12th house is that the person can't keep the energy for themselves but must give it to the world.

I think the secret of Leo's popularity is that they invite otners up onto the stage. They actually give extravagant praise more than they want or get it themsleves, contrary to common understanding about the sun sign Leo ... and Lawrence is no exception. His descriptions of the Arab leaders are full of superlatives and admiration. This made his irresistible then and it makes him irresistible now!

Most of my readers are Creative Intuitives as well as Introverts. This is a wonderfully creative INCOMPLETE MANIFESTO FOR GROWTH from Bruce Mau Design.


Written in 1998, the Incomplete Manifesto is an articulation of statements that exemplify Bruce Mau's beliefs, motivations and strategies. It also articulates how the BMD studio works.

1. Allow events to change you. You have to be willing to grow. Growth is different from something that happens to you. You produce it. You live it. The prerequisites for growth: the openness to experience events and the willingness to be changed by them.

2. Forget about good. Good is a known quantity. Good is what we all agree on. Growth is not necessarily good. Growth is an exploration of unlit recesses that may or may not yield to our research. As long as you stick to good you’ll never have real growth.

3. Process is more important than outcome. When the outcome drives the process we will only ever go to where we’ve already been. If process drives outcome we may not know where we’re going, but we will know we want to be there.

4. Love your experiments (as you would an ugly child). Joy is the engine of growth. Exploit the liberty in casting your work as beautiful experiments, iterations, attempts, trials, and errors. Take the long view and allow yourself the fun of failure every day.

5. Go deep. The deeper you go the more likely you will discover something of value.

6. Capture accidents. The wrong answer is the right answer in search of a different question. Collect wrong answers as part of the process. Ask different questions.

7. Study. A studio is a place of study. Use the necessity of production as an excuse to study. Everyone will benefit.

8. Drift. Allow yourself to wander aimlessly. Explore adjacencies. Lack judgment. Postpone criticism.

9. Begin anywhere. John Cage tells us that not knowing where to begin is a common form of paralysis. His advice: begin anywhere.

10. Everyone is a leader. Growth happens. Whenever it does, allow it to emerge. Learn to follow when it makes sense. Let anyone lead.

11. Harvest ideas. Edit applications. Ideas need a dynamic, fluid, generous environment to sustain life. Applications, on the other hand, benefit from critical rigor. Produce a high ratio of ideas to applications.

12. Keep moving. The market and its operations have a tendency to reinforce success. Resist it. Allow failure and migration to be part of your practice.

13. Slow down. Desynchronize from standard time frames and surprising opportunities may present themselves.

14. Don't be cool. Cool is conservative fear dressed in black. Free yourself from limits of this sort.

15. Ask stupid questions. Growth is fueled by desire and innocence. Assess the answer, not the question. Imagine learning throughout your life at the rate of an infant.

16. Collaborate. The space between people working together is filled with conflict, friction, strife, exhilaration, delight, and vast creative potential.

17. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _. Intentionally left blank. Allow space for the ideas you haven't had yet, and for the ideas of others.

18. Stay up late. Strange things happen when you've gone too far, been up too long, worked too hard, and you're separated from the rest of the world.

19. Work the metaphor. Every object has the capacity to stand for something other than what is apparent. Work on what it stands for.

20. Be careful to take risks. Time is genetic. Today is the child of yesterday and the parent of tomorrow. The work you produce today will create your future.

21. Repeat yourself. If you like it, do it again. If you don't like it, do it again.

22. Make your own tools. Hybridize your tools in order to build unique things. Even simple tools that are your own can yield entirely new avenues of exploration. Remember, tools amplify our capacities, so even a small tool can make a big difference.

23. Stand on someone's shoulders. You can travel farther carried on the accomplishments of those who came before you. And the view is so much better.

24. Avoid software. The problem with software is that everyone has it.

25. Don’t clean your desk. You might find something in the morning that you can't see tonight.

26. Don't enter awards competitions. Just don't. It's not good for you. AMEN AMEN AMEN (Nancy)

27. Read only left-hand pages. Marshall McLuhan did this. By decreasing the amount of information, we leave room for what he called our "noodle."

28. Make new words. Expand the lexicon. The new conditions demand a new way of thinking. The thinking demands new forms of expression. The expression generates new conditions.

29. Think with your mind. Forget technology. Creativity is not device-dependent.

30. Organization = Liberty. Real innovation in design, or any other field, happens in context. That context is usually some form of cooperatively managed enterprise. Frank Gehry, for instance, is only able to realize Bilbao because his studio can deliver it on budget. The myth of a split between "creatives" and "suits" is what Leonard Cohen calls a 'charming artifact of the past.'

31. Don't borrow money. Once again, Frank Gehry's advice. By maintaining financial control, we maintain creative control. It's not exactly rocket science, but it's surprising how hard it is to maintain this discipline, and how many have failed.

32. Listen carefully. Every collaborator who enters our orbit brings with him or her a world more strange and complex than any we could ever hope to imagine. By listening to the details and the subtlety of their needs, desires, or ambitions, we fold their world onto our own. Neither party will ever be the same.

33. Take field trips. The bandwidth of the world is greater than that of your TV set, or the Internet, or even a totally immersive, interactive, dynamically rendered, object'oriented, real'time, computer graphic'simulated environment.

34. Make mistakes faster. This isn’t my idea --I borrowed it. I think it belongs to Andy Grove.

35. Imitate. Don't be shy about it. Try to get as close as you can. You'll never get all the way, and the separation might be truly remarkable. We have only to look to Richard Hamilton and his version of Marcel Duchamp's large glass to see how rich, discredited, and underused imitation is as a technique.

36. Scat. When you forget the words, do what Ella did: make up something else ... but not words.

37. Break it, stretch it, bend it, crush it, crack it, fold it.

38. Explore the other edge. Great liberty exists when we avoid trying to run with the technological pack. We can’t find the leading edge because it’s trampled underfoot. Try using old-tech equipment made obsolete by an economic cycle but still rich with potential.

39. Coffee breaks, cab rides, green rooms. Real growth often happens outside of where we intend it to, in the interstitial spaces -- what Dr. Seuss calls "the waiting place." Hans Ulrich Obrist once organized a science and art conference with all of the infrastructure of a conference -- the parties, chats, lunches, airport arrivals -- but with no actual conference. Apparently it was hugely successful and spawned many ongoing collaborations.

40. Avoid fields. Jump fences. Disciplinary boundaries and regulatory regimes are attempts to control the wilding of creative life. They are often understandable efforts to order what are manifold, complex, evolutionary processes. Our job is to jump the fences and cross the fields.

41. Laugh. People visiting the studio often comment on how much we laugh. Since I've become aware of this, I use it as a barometer of how comfortably we are expressing ourselves.

42. Remember. Growth is only possible as a product of history. Without memory, innovation is merely novelty. History gives growth a direction. But a memory is never perfect. Every memory is a degraded or composite image of a previous moment or event. That's what makes us aware of its quality as a past and not a present. It means that every memory is new, a partial construct different from its source, and, as such, a potential for growth itself.

43. Power to the people. Play can only happen when people feel they have control over their lives. We can't be free agents if we're not free.

A client writes:

Hi, Nancy

I very much appreciate you sharing your ability to relate to xxx. You are a kind person....

The only other question I have at this time is to ask how much of the report content will be uniquely yours? In other words, some percentage of the content I assume would be the same no matter who prepared the report. How much of your insight and interpretive gifts come into play? How do you do what you do, and know what you know? Do you actually see visions of the future? I'm sorry I can't express this better, but hope you understand what I'm asking.

Thank you very much, Nancy. Take care.

Xxx

Dear Xxx,

The mathetmatical part of astrology is done by computers these days but the interpretation is an art. You will get a slightly different interpretation depending on who does it, their expertise, experience, intelligence, grasp of human nature, training in psychology and counseling, ability to render insights into English, individual resources, integrity, commitment and so forth.

In me you have a dedicated professional who has made this a calling in life. I have honed my skills passionately for over 25 years, reading for thousands of real people from all walks of life and listening with great interest and compassion to the details of their real lives over long periods of time, more than two decades in some cases.

These reports are my masterpieces, done with great love. Every single word is individualized. No part of a report is "canned". I would feel insulted if you thought they were. You probably wouldn't believe how different each report is. I even use different graphics for the astrology signs! I'm very creative with it and it adds to my enthusiasm in doing them, though it does take time!

You can see partial samples on my website and some comments from clients here: www.bemyastrologer.com/clients.html Many of them mention how personalized the report was and how much it touched them.

Most astrologers study and improve their skills constantly. We also compare notes among each other and attend professional conferences as people do in other fields. We pass around the latest books.... Many of us also study world mythology, philosophy, sacred geometry, metaphysics, numerology, Jungian psychology, symbolism, Tarot, healing systems, world religions and do things like yoga, Pilates, bodywork, therapetic massage and other modes of healing such as dreamwork, REIKI, creaetive visualization....

I often see visions of the future and images from the past and past lives when I'm working on a chart. However, this is because I'm clairvoyany and psychic, not something that necessarily goes with astrology. It might interest you to know that I also "hear" the "Music of the Spheres" when I "read" a chart. The glyphs and symbols in astrology are really like "reading" musical notes. Many people who are astrologers are also musically talented. For example, I can sightread almost any piece of music though I am rusty now, not having had a piano for years.

Each person has a keynote or "tone" that I begin to hear. It is a way that I can located them on the inner plane.

I also enjoy it when my clients send me scanned pictures with their email. I like to see the person that way, too.

Nancy R. Fenn

Outward Bound in a recent news release celebrating a $1 million goal, speaks this way abuot introverts ... "Involvement in an Outward Bound course is a personal development experience that encourages intellectuals to meet physical challenges, extroverts to listen, introverts to reveal themselves, dependent people to find independence, loners to share socially and dreamers to awaken."

That's pretty fair reporting. It seems balanced between the types.

In the Twin Cities Pioneer Press, here's a recent reference in tv programming about how prime time kings rule their domain with hollow grimness: "And the Bruckheimer detectives are cool characters with little bedside manner — introverts, even, if you consider William Petersen's Gil Grissom on "CSI: Crime Scene Investigation." They're the brainiest folks on TV, as they piece together the most unpredictable crimes imaginable."

Hmmm, introverts brainy? How nice of them to notice.

Not a bad day in the news for introverts. Check out the latest articles at The IntrovertZCoach, resources and support for introverts like you and me.

People of the world belong to one of the three general categories of races: Caucasoid, Mongoloid or Negroid. After much intuitive thought and no DNA testing or anything scientific, I believe that my ancestors belonged to the Mongoloid race. The Mongoloid race is known to have originated near the Baikal Lake in Siberia. No wonder I felt such incredible feelings when I went there last summer. I saw people that looked like my grandfather, too. One looked enough like him to be a twin. My Ukrainian friend Anya look like my mother. My mother looked like a Russian princess.

Mongoloid characteristics include high cheekbones and inner eyelids which are well suited for living in cold and harsh conditions such as in Siberia. I have high cheekbones and inner eyelids but I sure do hate the cold. I can take almost any heat but suffer in cold.

Mongoloid can be further categorized as the Old Mongol or the New Mongol which differ in physical characteristics and language. The time when the two Mongols divided into different groups is still not known; however, the two groups have divided even further into many different groups. The New Mongol which is composed of the Ugrians, the Finns, the Turks, the Mongols, and the Tungus is the one to which I belong. I wonder if this is another reason I chose the professional name "Fenn". It's just that so often we know so much more than we realize we know. I chose a professional name that was easy to spell and remember.

Mastermind INTJ Introvert

Great new IntrovertZ Coming Out Story by Shaye Bomar, a Mastermind introvert. There are so many wonderful introvert-quotable things in her story, I don't know where to start but here are a few to whet your appetite.

Quotable Quote from Shaye Bomar:

So, if I am such a "Mastermind", how come I haven't figured this stuff out yet?

Somehow, when you become an adult, you must automatically turn into an extrovert by midnight or turn into a pumpkin.

Sometimes I wonder if I am an introvert because I hate being around people or because I truly like being alone.

I am NOT shy I am INTROVERTED -- Shaye Bomar

Click here for the full story.

Here's a movie I think portrays the Promethean aspect of the Mastermind introvert, the ability to stand alone against impossible odds. Whether or not the story is true, is a marvelous depiction in tory form of an introvert personality and some of its great strengths.

Synopsis from showbizdata.com : "A petty criminal sent to Alcatraz in the 1930's is caught attempting to make an escape. As punishment, he is put in solitary confinement. The maximum stay is supposed to be 19 days, but Henry spends years alone, cold and in complete darkness."

Official Alcatraz response

Were you born around 1976-78 or 1947-49? So were the modern countries of India, Pakistan, Israel and Palestine. Find out what you have in common and much more. The Saturn in Leo pages are now available.

Saturn in Leo: the divine child, the knight in shining armor on a quest or the beast of the jungle?

Famous with Saturn in Leo: Eleanor of Acquitaine, Blaise Pascal, Emperor Franz Josef of Austria (Hapsburg Dynasty) Adolf Hitler, Charlie Chaplin, Liberace, Ho Chi Minh, Chiang Kai-Chek, Orlando Bloom, Diane Kruger and Liv Tyler.

Email me for your free mini Saturn Return reading and let's take a look at the next 30 years.

She just got her Saturn Return reading ...

Thank you so much for my report. There is not a
SINGLE THING that I would quibble with! This is who I
am - the dark and the light. You are incredibly
gifted and I am very lucky to have this guidance.

Part of the reason I contacted you was to get over the
struggle between head and heart and actually get on
with my life!!

I could discuss ad infinitum how much this chart
reflects my life but there is really only one issue I
want to bring up....

Are you ready for yours? It could change the next 30 years of your life very much for the better.

Remember, dear Gentle Reader, that the eclipses are coming. It may feel like "light's out" especially for the Leos -- the Sun is your Ruler and so you identify strongly with the solar sclipse such as the one tomorrow, the 13th of October. You may think you have just lost what you were aiming for but keep yourself psychologically open, keep your Third Eye open (don't stumble in the darkness of doubt) and lo and behold! voila! there it is and you shall it ... just not quite exactly the way you thought it was coming.

Librans are certainly having a windfall right now. This will last for about two years ... you day in the sun! You are golden. Enjoy.

The bigger event is the eclipse at the end of the month.

Please also remember, Gentle Reader, that the world is full of 70% extroverts who don't tune in and who may be quite literally stumbling around in the dark when the lights go out. Don't let one of them fall on you!!! It's like driving on the freeway, gotta watch out for yourself and protect against other energies. Stay centered. Don't get thrown by someone else's over reactions.

If the stress is getting to you, ask me for a sample of OASIS Ageless and begin your wellness program today. Email me.

Caput Algol, the Fixed Star
Caput Algol
This is the most fascinating article I think I've ever read about the Fixed Stars.

Perhaps the first signs of the eclipses to come ... earthquake activity and the release of Christopher Reeve from his body. Reeve, who was born on September 25, 1952 and had five planets in Libra, died early this morning. May he rest in peace.

My letter to Diane about how I, an infp introvert, healed myself.... may this speed you on your way to healing and to finding what works for you!

Hi Diane,

You had asked me what changes I made to heal. There were a whole series, one supporting the other and in more or less this order.

I got a divorce, ending a negative situation that was bleeding me dry on all levels. This was back in 1975. The rest is between then and now.

I did all the cosmetic tihings, lost weight, got a hot new wardrobe, began to read some self help books and noticed that the people who seemed to be really "alive" who had that "certain something" all believed in a higher power. Hmmmmmmmm. I tried to hang out with these people as much as they would let me. I was actually a pretty empty person at that time, though nice, polite, etc.

I found work that I loved and people I wanted to be around. I was with a successful, positive, health oriented group of individuals for the next 12 years. I found people who treated me very well, consistently. I was having so much fun, I went overboard and one day I came home, the room was spinning. My daughter developed a nervous habit at that time. I knew it was time to look deeper.

I eliminated all nonessential activities and took a look at what really mattered in my life and how I was spending my time. This was hard for me because there are so many things I love to do but I had to strip down and prioritize, particularly as the single head of household. Someone gave me a copy of Ernest Holmes' Science of Mind at this time. I read it through slowly, twice.

Then I eliminated negative people from my life who were sucks. I got away from people who smoked and drank. I investigated every kind of alternative healing you can imagine. I've done them all! It was well worth the investment of time and energy.

I eliminated white sugar and quit smoking. That took awhile to adjust to :-) so I added some exercise and found sports I loved over the years which varied. I made that a new priority. I got away from people who ate recreationally or as a sedative.

I removed elements of Type A from my personality and quit hanging around with Type As. I quit giving that kind of orientation any validation in my own mind.

I went all the way out to lacto ovo vegetarian and back again finding out what my body liked and responded well to. I did this again by stripping down to the essentials in food and then adding things back again as I observed the results in my own body and how it felt with each new food. I would start with a juice fast, then tea, then reintroduce foods. It was fun. During this period I permanently eliminated cheese (molds) and also it was the acidity in canned tomatoes that most caused the eczema to act up. That just came to me intuitively as I held Cayce's papers. That led to a lot less spaghetti around my house (!)

I became a more committed positive thinker and spent more time with gentle, simple people -- all different sorts. I learned to meditate, or rather that I had always meditated and how to appreciate it and use it more in my daily life. Continued with all types of alternative healing and personal growth groups as time and money permitted.

I began getting therapeutic massage regularly and went to other bodyworkers. I discovered vitamins and supplements and experimented with results, mostly doing this intuitively. I feel a big part of my healing at this time was being my own authority and taking responsibility for my own healing. I discovered the staples of my diet at this time: lean hamburger, fresh green vegetables lightly cooked with a little butter, fish prepared the same way, for a snack a few potato chips maybe some unsalted peanuts (need something crunchy, carnivore memories), sometimes oat bran cereal, oatmeal, eggs, occassionally bacon , baked potato, homemade soups of all kinds ... when eating out will get a steak also like beans for protein. I actually had an elaborate test at this time that confirmed I need red meat from time to time. By this time I had totally eliminated all junk food.

Began to read up on nutrition and how the body uses food as fuel. Eliminated all the "sentiments" around eating and began to look at it as proper fuel. Kept socializing that oriented around food to a minimum. Took the emphasis off food and put it into other activities. Tried juicing. Loved it but too time consuming so switched to Juice Plus.

Eliminated more toxic people from my life after giving it a huge try and seeing it for what it was ... me or them!

In spite of all of this, got fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue (just too much responsiblity as single head of household with no financial or emotionional support). Also got agoraphobic (somewhat, I'm not a whiner so I kept it to myself and under control) and had a freak accident (a bullring in Tijuana collapsed with me on the top bleacher) which loosened up memories from childhood. Spent two years getting that dealt with. Due to accident thought I would not lead a normal life again but got 2,3 massages a week and finally restored completely, stronger than ever.

Now very familiar with every part of my part and the stress points. When they act up, I know to make a change. The first is my left knee. Then my neck. Then my stomach. If with a toxic person become completely incapacitated quickly -- head ache, nerves, tension, irritable, jerky, facial tics, generally feel whatever they are feeling in their body, aggressive, stomach cramps, depression, hatred, muscles aches, addictive, empty, etc. pure hell of being an empath, have to get away and clear the energy. Takes about 2 hours now. Used to take a LOT longer (a way of life). Stay away from these people, even as clients.

I have practically no negative stress in my life now. I live with an infp roommate who is peaceable and quiet. I am in right honest relations with every human being I know of. I guard my peace of mind by being kind, honest, aware and intelligent in my dealings with others. I'm an infp healer, after all. I love people. That is where my values are.

I watch my stress level -- I have no choice! Somtimes I regret that I can't do "everytihng" but I figure there was a reason for all of this, that my introversion will turn out to be the best thing. I interact with a very large number of people every day but I am in control of the circusmtances. That makes all the difference. I have found that people want to be with me so much that they will gladly cooperate and so I guess that's the way it can work for an introvert. We are such good listeners and so caring!

I had one backsliding where I even started smoking again because of a series of poor decisions. I discovered how easily it can reverse itself so I am more guarded now than ever though hopefully it doesn't show :-) I think I have a pleasant personality.

Now my routine includes two hours of exercise a day, eating the way I described plus the Wellness which I prefer now. I don't need much sleep. I have found that varying my activities gives me a whole new burst of energy. I avoid negative people and spend at least half my time by myself.

I hope this is helpful. I realize how much of a priority I made my health but it has always been of interest to me, even as a child. That's a whole nothing story. Thanks for asking and good luck with yours!

Oh I guess I should end by saying, I always trust myself, my responses to things, the information I get from my body -- even if everyone else thinks someone is "nice" and I find them toxic, I'm the law in my own land. I know myself, which is the greatest gift of all for the introvert. I never doubt myself anymore. That's very healing.

Nancy

Just remembering how much I love my dog. Pets are sometimes an introvert's best friend. I have some great articles on The IntrovertZCoach about pets!

Three movies I can't wait to see:

1. Opening November 24 Alexander [click to see the best trailer]. There are some great historically based movies coming out now that Puto is halfway through Sagittarius.

2. Opening December 3 House of Flying Daggers [gorgeous, see trailer].

3. Kinsey opens this fall -- it's the Saturn Return of the Kinsey Report.

Breathe said the Bodhisattvas ... a reader responds ...

Oh did I need to feel this poem. My life has been so complicated lately that I have not been breathing as well as I should be. You know be a healer forget to live as a healer. I see xxx as a kind if Bodhisattva....

But I didn't mean to go on about me. I wanted to tell you that you are a very helpful and inspiring writer. I am less lonely because of your site. I look forward to my e-zines and get excited over reading new coming out stories.

peace be with you and love and light and radiance abound in your life....

Kati

Conscious breathing is our connection. It is the fundamental rhythm of all life. It is the alpha and the omega, the yin and the yang, twilight and dawn, systole and diastole, anabolic and catabolic.

Do you breath all the way in and all the way out. Do you spend as much time on one and the other? If you aren't breathing in and long as you're breathing out, you're out of balance and it will be showing up somewhere else in your body and life as well. Perhaps a relationship where you do all the giving or a series of problems on one side of the body and not the other.

Most of us do shallow breathing until we learn to take a full breath. If we are breathing shallow it will be showing up in our lives with such things as busy-ness that is meaningless, anxiety, overcrowded conditions or schedules, a shallow relationship or life.

Check your breathing. One excellent way to make important corrections to breathing is acupuncture and rebirthing. See if there is some in your area.

Another redeemed introvert heard from ...

You can quote me on this, I've been a lot happier ever since I've met you. In the few months since I've know you, your articles and emails have empowered me more than the sum of my youth. It's so much easier now as I can just shut up and make no effort at all when I don't feel like it, and amazingly, people treat me with more respect and make more of an effort with me now. As a result, it's becoming easier to talk to people.

We can become more conscious. We can heal. We can support each other! Eventually we can get more space for ourselves in this world designed by and for others.

I always think when a healing like this takes place that al the angels in the Angel CHoir stand up and sing Hallalejuiah. Did you hear them just now?

May you learn to breath ...

This is a poem about profound self-healing, breath, love and death. It was sent to me by Sharon Leahy, a practicing hypnotherapist, available for consultation on spiritual growth matters 541.347.5666

BELLS PALSY AND THE BUDDHA
(an autobiography)

In the morning, I was fine.
In the evening, the right side
of my face
was paralyzed;
my mouth
drooped
and would not seal;
my eye
would not close.
In a matter of moments,
I had become a monster.

They called it Bells Palsy,
and offered little hope.

Many massages
from the Gold Beach Dakini.
Maybe you should look
at your emotions, she said.
I didn’t understand.
I thought she meant the torment
I felt
watching people
watch my face.

In extremis,
I casually said to the clairvoyant:
Just wondering what’s going on in my life.

Looking down the trail
of my discarded husks,
the long-eyed one
spoke of my lives
as a Masai warrior and Tibetan monk.

You’re in a Mystery School, she said.
Be alert
for the oriental man
who hands you a packet of papers.

Attending a workshop a month later:
It’s about fully experiencing
your emotions,
the bodhisattva said,
his Oriental face gently smiling
into my gargoyle countenance
as he handed me a packet of papers.

When we have fear,
we stop breathing.
When we stop breathing,
we stop feeling our emotions.
When we stop feeling our emotions,
they don’t get integrated into our lives,
and
the repressed emotions
can manifest in the body
as dis-ease.

Breathe, he said.
Always be mindful of your breathing.
When you’re with your breathing,
you’re in the present.
When you’re in the present,
you are fully feeling and integrating
your emotions.

Mornings sitting on the floor,
breathing.
Restless and crazed.
An agony to sit still and just breathe.

Do not place your values
in the material world, he said.
Everything there
will die,
end,
and disappoint you.
There is no security in anything
you can see, touch, or feel.

Keep breathing, he said.

Stay in the moment,
and
feel your emotions fully.
You can appreciate and enjoy
the material world,
but don’t invest in it as security,
don’t attach to it,
don’t find your values in it.

Breathe.
Keep your attention on your breathing.
When you are with your breathing,
you are with the present moment,
where you need to be
to be fully alive.

Visions of chanting monks and a rising cobra.

Gautama’s precious gifts of grief.

It’s money, honey,
that’s where you’re attached,
the Buddha said,
sitting full lotus in my flower bed.

I breathe in,
feeling my suddenly shakey finances.
My Taurus is writhing on the floor
of my gut,
twisting and drooling in a frenzy of fear.

Hey,
here’s another place
you’re hooked into the world,
the Buddha said,
a small smile of pleasure
laying gently on his lips.

Half-faced,
scared and confused,
I sit with my feelings
about being homeless.
It could happen any time,
the Buddha said, smiling.
And,
oh, hey,
the Buddha said
from his seat in the daisies,
what about the people you love …
and a trap door opened at my feet.

Breathing in free fall.

The path out of suffering
is about not being attached to things,
not trying to control anybody,
not trying to stop things from changing,
to be gratefully at peace with what is,
whatever it is,
the Buddha said.

Everything that happens is the perfect unfoldment of that person’s life,
and life lessons,
at that particular moment in time.

Breathe, the bodhisattva said.

He teaches me to dance
with the Guardian Diety Mahakala.
Swirling swords
cutting cords
of attachment.
Be sure to thank him
and release him when you’re done,
the bodhisattva says.
You don’t want him hanging around.

It’s spiritual madness, Carolyn said.
The dark night of the soul.
Don’t expect to be sane
until you give up
your self-image of victimhood.

Breathe, he said.

Your feet are exchanging atoms
right now

with the floor
they are resting on.
Nothing is solid or separate.
You and I
and the earth
and the sea
and the stars
and the silverware
are all one mass of flowing energy.

We are all parts of,
and united in,
what the physicists
call
a unified energy field.

We are not separate and alone.
We are each one small part
of the whole.
We are each
one small part of the
unified energy field.
The unified energy field is
science’s name for God.
The whole is God.
We are each a piece of God.

We are all learning our lessons
as best we can,
over many lives,
working to reconnect
with our Godliness.
Allow everything to happen as it will, allow everyone to be as they are.
Make no judgments,
the bodhisattva says.
Just keep your mind
in full Godliness:
in pure unconditional love.
And remember to breathe, he says.

You can chant
Om Namo Amida Buddha
to connect with unconditional love.

And keep breathing he says.

I lay on his table,
trying to find repressed emotions. There’s Ganesh on the riverbank,
looking at me,
encouraging me to stay on
this strange and groundless path.

Keep breathing, the bodhisattva says.

And still my face doesn’t heal.

After drawing the energy meridians
on my body
with her well-oiled hands,
the golden-hearted Dakini says:
I feel it’s something to do with
your father.

Another energy worker’s table:
Iliel’s eyes are soft and round,
seeing the unseen.
She focuses her gentle gaze on me.
I see a line
from your injured face
to your heart,
she says.

Integrate your emotions,
the bodhisattva said.
Breathe.

Your hara line,
the yogi said.
You must strengthen your power center.

See that golden cord
from the base of your spine,
the long-eyed clairvoyant said.
It stretches to
the center of the earth,
grounding you.


Naked and red,
dancing in the sky,
Vajra Varahi,
the remover
of veils of ignorance,
looks me in the face,
and shows me her big curved knife.
Go for it, I say.

The veils start to drop.
god-awful thoughts
start flashing in my mind.
How easy it would be
if the son of a bitch would just die.

I hold my breath.

Dear god,
that’s not me thinking this shit, is it?
I slam the thoughts down
and bury them
in the compost heap
at the pit of my stomach.
A nice person like me
doesn’t think things like that.

The thoughts keep popping up
out of my gut.
I’m standing in the kitchen,
wham!
I wish he’d die slams into my mind. Smash!
I push it down and hide it.

Wham!
I’m brushing my teeth,
I wish he’d die
dashes across my mind.
Slam,
I push it down
under the darkness in my gut.

Whenever I’m not focusing
on something,
whenever my mind is soft,
these fierce, angry thoughts
smash into my mind.

I go from peace, to hate, to fear,
to suppressing the thought,
all in a microsecond,
many times a day.

Am I possessed by a mad woman?

I’m having these horrible thoughts,
I say to the full-hearted one…
Wishing people
who are causing grief in my life
would just die.

Her eyes fill with tears.
We all have thoughts like that,
she says.
We have to let them come up
and just be recognized.
Just breathe through them,
she says.
Let them float away like clouds.

My eyes fill with tears
seeing her tears
hearing that she
and others, too,
are afflicted
with these violent, insane thoughts.

Hearing that I’m not alone
in this agony of wierdness
heals something in me
instantly.
Gives me courage to
explore
this strange part of me.

Wham!
Die, sucker, die!
The thought rises so fast
and so hard
it takes my breath away.
I just look at the thought
in amazement.
Where is this shit coming from?

The next time,
the thought has less force.

If he’d only die,
my life would be so much better.

I let it come up,
I admit that the thought
came out of me.
I remind myself that I did not
consciously
frame the thought.

The thought floats out on its way.
I breathe.
It’s ok.

May all sentient beings be free from suffering and the causes of suffering.
Keep breathing, he says.

Mendocino.
Should I see the woman psychic?
Vajra Varahi says yes,
you got some serious veils, babe.


You’ve got your father’s energy
blocking your third eye,
the psychic says.
You can’t see your spiritual path
with his energy there.
Take it out, I say.

May all sentient beings have happiness and the causes of happiness.

I’m ten years old
in a fifty year old body,
laying on the energy worker’s table.
I’m watching
my father’s raging face
burst into metaphorical flame,
and I’m screaming,
don’t do it, don’t do it,
knowing there’s a beating coming.

Your soul may belong to Jesus,
he says,
taking off his belt,
but your ass belongs to me.

I’m thrashing, kicking,
screaming on her table,
breathing like crazy.
I feel an enormous ball of energy
burst out of my belly.
The terror is gone,
like turning off a light.
You held that inside all these years,
she says.
Now you can use that energy
for healing.

There are no victims,
the bodhisattva says.

Before each life,
and during our lives,
we each agree
on a spiritual level
to receive the lessons
we know we need
to make progress on our spiritual paths.

Breathe, he says.

On her table,
I’m a child again,
the family at the kitchen table,
my father’s face grows horns
and turns black.
His body turns into spikey sticks.
She puts me in a safety bubble
and I scream at him,
you’re killing us,
you’re killing us
and you’ve already killed mom,
look at her,
she’s already gone.
There’s just a grey shadow of her
sitting at the kitchen table.
I want you to die,
I want you to die I scream at him,
and the black demon face
grows big scared eyes.

Ripping out the cords I can feel
around my heart,
stop sucking my energy, I yell,
get your own energy,
stop draining mine.

I drive home, feeling great.
I look at the prayer flags in my garden.

A week later,
it took me three hours to write these words…
and during that three hours,
on the other side of the continent,
my father died.

Out of the fifty years I’ve been alive,
he dies in the three hours
I’m writing about him.

There are no coincidences.
We are all connected in the energy field,
we are all totally aware,
we are all completely comprehensively
all-knowing.
We just don’t let ourselves
bring the awareness
into our daily minds.

We are all one unified energy field.
We are each a piece of God
the all-knowing.

Breathe, he says.

I look at the candle flame,
saying goodbye to a father
I haven’t seen in 20 years,
feeling the oddness around my heart.

I expect he’s in life review about now. Gonna be short on popcorn at that show.

Me and the candle.
I breathe.

Please know I have no anger.
We played out
our spiritual agreement
to live together for a time,
teaching each other as best we could.

You gave me the opportunity
to achieve precious growth
on my eternal path
by agreeing to live this life
which was so unsatisfying to you,
so barren of joy.

You gave me the opportunity
to break free of the cultural blindness,
to break free of the pattern;
to break free of the entire concept
of victimhood.

A million blessings on you for that gift.

Thank you for playing
the bad guy
so well,
thank you
for motivating me
to leave,
to get the hell out,
to find my own truths,
my own wholeness,
my own path.


You and me,
and all of us,
we’re all the same.
Not good,
not bad.
Just ignorant babes
working out our karmic stuff.
We figure out a little in this life,
figure out a little more in the next.

May your karma
rest lightly upon you.
May your next life be holy.
May you have peace.

May you learn to breathe.

October 16, 1997
Sharon Leahy

She just got her second Saturn Return Reading from the Nation's Expert ...

Nancy, I just received my astrology report and was pleasantly surprised at the accuracy. It is amazing what this tool can offer in terms of insight and clarity. I found some of the missing pieces to my life's puzzle. I was finally able to connect the dots. The most profound part of the report was understanding the affect other people have on my energy. There was a ring of truth to this information that touched me to the very core of my soul. I cannot tell you how many 'oh my god' statements were made as I read through the report. You are truly blessed to have such insight. Barbara.

When it's time for you to solve some of life's little mysteries, EMAIL the nation's Saturn Return expert, Nancy R. Fenn.

Many astrologers are saying the same thing about the presidential election ... very, very close race and whoever wins is not likely to serve out their term in office.

"When some unpleasant truth starts bothering me, I'll have a complete mental breakdown, lose all my physical energy, possibly fall asleep, and maybe get the flu ... it used to last weeks in a row, now I've generally toned it down to hours with help from friends."-- Anon INFJ (a type of introvert called "The Counselor")

This is a typical reaction of many introverts to stress. We are chronically stressed because we are trying to adjust to a world designed by and for others.

Today I was browsing one of my favorite sites, The New York Social Diary. Party. Party. Party. We see the same faces over and over again. Fun to look at but eventually this voice inside of me says, "That's exhausting! How can those people do that all the time?" Well, it's easy for them because they're extroverts.

What a different world we would design. Quiet walks in beautiful parks. Snuggling by the fire with a good book. Writing in our journal as blissful solitary travelers. My, what a different world!

In the meantime, we have to cope with Wal-Mart, drag-car racing, HR programs for teamwork, even the person next to us at work who yaks into the cell phone about the private details of their lives. Where can we find peace?

... at the Oasis! I personally recommend Oasis products to counteract the effects of so much stress. It will help repair your immune system and restore your intestines ability to absorb nutriments. Please email me for your free sample.

Health is a Big Issue for Introverts

Who doesn't want to be healthy? I've been fascinated with health ever since I can remember. My grandmother's best friend was bedridden with rheumatoid arthritis since she was in her early thirties. My own mother had chronic and debilitating mental and physical illnesses and was essentially bedridden. Seeing these people suffer set me on my path as a healer.

In my family, it was not an easy thing to be interested in good health. Believe it or not, being interested in health opened me to ridicule. Adele Davis, a pioneer in the health food community, was just beginning to write books like, Let's Eat Right to Keep Fit. My father called her a "health food nut" and downed another piece of rare roast beef, two martinis, French fries and a Caesar salad, chased with a chain of PallMalls. I adored my wonderful warm Leo daddy but he was not "into" physical health!!

My grandparents lived past 95 in excellent health. My parents died at 58 and 60. They cut more than 35 years off those wonderful genes with their lifestyle. This got me to thinking about my future in this body.

These are the principles I advocate for a lifetime of good health.

1. It's your health.
2. Your physical health and your mental health are the same thing.
3. Be yourself.

Let me explain each one with some examples.

#1. It's your health.

Ladies and gentlemen, it is your health. It's not the doctor's health or the government's health. It's your health and it's your responsibility to keep yourself healthy. Waiting until you have physical symptoms and then throwing yourself at the feet of a doctor as if he were God is to remain a child in an adult's body.

The Greeks had a wonderful saying about this, "After 30, every man is his own doctor."

If, by the time you're 30, you don't understand your own body and what makes it work, there is no power on earth that can save you from yourself.

If there are some things that run in your family you'd like to change, learn about DNA reprogramming and healing with The Sunhealer.

Jesus is one of many great healers through the ages. The first question Jesus asked a sick person was, "Do you want to be healed?" Ask yourself this question. Listen to your answer.

Food is preventive nutrition (fuel) or slow poison. It is not an emotional and social "event". Please learn about your own body; take the time to educate yourself about nutrition. And as you learn and grow, avoid white sugar and white flour as if your life depended on it.

Know your stress points. When you're under stress, what's the first thing in your body to "go"? Is it your stomach, headaches, your back, sleeping patterns, nail biting? From now on, this will be your flagship. Your body knows before you do, it's time to make a change.

#2. Your physical health and your mental health are the same thing.

This principle is nifty for self healing because you can come at a problem either through the mind or through the body.

If you're feeling depressed, you can take Yoga and by putting your body into positions of self confidence and life force energy, your spirits will lift.

If you're discouraged and plumb out of ideas, life up your chin and look at the ceiling. Immediately you are more in tune with your intuition and the creative part of you that provides miraculous answers to things (known as inspiration).

Do you have anxiety attacks. Learn conscious breathing, the same thing they teach us for natural child birth. Where there is a conscious connection with the breath, there can be no fear, no anxiety.

If your stomach is tied up in knots all the time and you have an ulcer in your future, you can raise in your consciousness the idea of self acceptance and the concept that you are safe and wanted in the world and these symptoms will disappear.

You can make changes in the physical world, such as leaving an abusive spouse and your mental and physical health will improve dramatically.

The easiest and fundamental connection between the mind (mental health) and body (physical health) is the breath. When we breath consciously, no negative emotion can be present. Simple but profound, this is one of the great secrets of meditation.

#3. Be yourself.

Trying to be something you're not is life-threatening. Most people will interpret the statement "trying to be something you're not" negatively. What we mean is, trying to be a different type of person than you naturally are.

"Type" is defined according to the popular concepts of typing personality that we find in the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator(r) or in Keirsey Temperament Theory. If you wonder what your "type" is, visit Keirsey for a free self test.

Here are some examples from real life.

If you love solitude and the great outdoors and want to live a long healthy life, don't get yourself stationed on a submarine with a bunch of smokers.

If you love confrontation, competition and running the show don't be a preschool teacher or case worker.

If you love children, soft moments, nurturing and intimacy don't try being a litigation attorney.

It's not rocket science. These samples seem riduculous but it is amazing how unconscious we can be in our choice of lifestyle ... how incongruent we can be in our choices until we wake up!

Why do we try to be something we aren't? That's a good question. It happens in a context of trying to please others - parents, teachers, religious leaders, spouses.

According to Dr. Katherine Benziger the short term cost of trying to be something you're not is "increased irritability, headaches and difficulty in mastering a new task."

The long term results include "exhaustion, depression, lack of joy, a homeostatic imbalance involving oxygen or the premature aging of the brain and a vulnerability to illness."

I have clients with chronic fatigue syndrome, fibromyalgia, insomnia, cancer, tumors, esophagitis, migraines, bleeding ulcers, chronic diarrhea, obesity, manic-depressive disorders, deep scarring acne, strokes, apnia, and drinking problems who still will not consider making a lifestyle change. Unbelievable. They want the doctor to fix it so they can continue doing the same things they are doing and be healthy. This is not logical.

Could these people be healed? Yes, certainly. When they begin to shift over into who they really are, the symptoms will disappear, sometimes dramatically.

If this solution is too simple, please ask yourself why things have to be so complicated in your life (!)

My special message today is for introverts.

Our definition of ourselves has been controlled for the most part by people who don't understand us because the majority of people in the world, 70%, are extroverts.

We're in the process of reclaiming our right to be exactly the way we are. Introverts need to spend at least half their time alone for good mental health. This has nothing to do with our love of people. We give energy to others and need time alone to fill up again.

Introverts, please be honest about your needs for time alone and other territorial issues. You can find some great resources for introverts at my website The IntrovertZCoach.

For all people wanting to cut down on their stress, one of the greatest services I can render is an astrology reading. Astrology is one of the few places you can go in the world where you will find someone holding up a clear mirror to who you really are.

Astrology is a paradigm that gives each person permission to be exactly who they are. We get as close as we can to the "god's eye view" of you. Astrologers recognize the absolute uniqueness of each individual.

When you see an astrologer, we will say to you, "Let me tell you about the wonderful person I see here in your astrology chart?." We are positive and supportive people.

If you have drifted so far from yourself, you can't find your way back home, give an astrologer a call. We have the map.

All change starts within. I hope I've given you some great things to think about on your road to good health. Please remember these three principles:

#1 It is your health.
#2 Your physical health and your mental health are the same thing.
#3 Be yourself.

There is one product I recommend for introverts, Oasis.

This product Oasis Ageless can help restore your body's natural ability to heal itself by repairing your immune system which has been depleted by so much stress. Gold Aloe can help restore your intestine's ability to absorb nutrients, leading to better nutrition and usually reduction in weight.

Please try this product. I have been so pleased with it for my own health maintenance. Email me if you're interested in learning more and let me send you a free sample or place an order for you.

Please know that we love you and understand. Introverts are under incredible stress coping daily with a world designed by and for others. Please try these products to give your body a boost back to its favorite place -- keeping dis-ease away from you every day in every way.

From dear Jonathan Cainer click here to learn more. This is a great reminder.

Dear Jonathan,

You keep promising that the world is about to change but it seems to be getting worse every day.

Casey

Dear Casey,

Imagine you are in a terribly messy room. It is only lit by a single candle so you can't see the full extent of the chaos. Additional lights don't so much brighten it up as reveal the dreadful reality. But though things may look far worse, they are actually a lot better. For now, you can no longer ignore what needs to be faced. That means things have to start changing.

Jonathan Cainer

This is just an excellent reminder. Thank you Jonathan!!