Introverted and Intuitive (INFP)

It's November and time to start thinking about "Person of the Year" awards. If you would like to participate in the POLL, please click here and select the person you would nominate for "Person of the Year".

Condolezza Rice ? Howard Dean ? The Massachusetts Supremes ? Who ?

If you're looking for a special reasonable Christmas present, here is a scarf made by the people of Robib Villlage in Cambodia. Click here to visit the site. The scarf comes in plenty of different colors.

Eine neue art Koenigin!
von GER3011WA
Beim St. Cloud Universitaet ist ein Junge, Fue Khang, homecoming Koenigin geworden um Toleranz unter den Studenten zufoerdern. Er ist von Die Universitaet Komitte (von 700 Shuler) nominert geworden auch mit einer Frau die fuer Koenig nominiert geworden ist. Viel Studenten finden es nicht richtig, dass ein Mann Koenigin ist. Die sagen es soll ein Frau sein und dass das selbstverstandlich ist. Ich finde, dass der Homecoming Komitte will ein Punkt machen und ich finde die haben recht damit. Wenn wir nicht beim Hautfarbe, haarfarbe order sonst was nicht diskriminieren sollten dann sollen wir auch nicht beim geschlecht diskrimeneiren. Der Junge ist fair gewahlt geworden und er sollte auch die Tiltle halten zu durfen.

A young man named Paul received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the bird's mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity. Paul tried and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of to "clean up" the bird's vocabulary.
Finally, Paul walked up and yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back. Paul shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even ruder. Paul, in desperation, threw up his hand, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer. For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed. Then suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard for over a minute.

Fearing that he'd hurt the parrot, Paul quickly opened the door to the freezer. The parrot calmly stepped out onto Paul's outstretched arms and said, "I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I'm sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior."

Paul was stunned at the change in the bird's attitude. As he was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behavior, the bird continued, "May I ask what the turkey did?" HAPPY, HEALTHY THANKSGIVING!

I allow myself a taste or two of something sweet every day to keep the munchies away, thus the juxtaposition of the next two entries.

Sugar Cookies for Christmas
Now that Thanksgiving is here, I thought I would put my mother's Christmas sugar cookie recipe here. It's the best!

• 3 cups flour
• 1 1/4 cup sugar
• 1 teaspoon baking powder
• 1/4 teaspoon salt
• 1 cup shortening
• 3 eggs
• 1 teaspoon vanilla

Sift dry ingredients. Add shortening and mix with fork. Add unbeaten eggs and flavoring. Roll out dough with rolling pin dusting board with flour. Cut into shapes with cookie cutters. Bake at 375 degrees for 8 minutes.

Then I'll tell you what my mother always told me, "Watch them carefully" -- they burn quickly!

You can use butter or a mixture of butter/margarine or shortening but I love these best with shortening.

Enjoy! They are the yummiest.

Let's support each other in keeping trim over the holidays.

It's going to be easy ... allow yourself three days of feasting and fun, Thanksgiving, Christmas and the office party. The rest of the time, stay with your low carbs. Think how proud you'll be for New Year's.

Is there some gentle exercise you can accomplish as well? Here's an easy one. Park far from the store and walk both ways. Climb the stairs instead of taking the elevator. When everyone else settles down after dinner to watch tv, take a couple of turns around the block first. If you're an introvert this is an important and tricky little way to get a few minutes to yourself as well.

Think of "other ways" to celebrate -- why should it always be food when it's so un-celebratory the way we feel later?

For Introverted Bunnies during the Holidays ... reprinted from years before
Survival Tools for Introverts during the Holidays
Do you feel like this baby bunny during the holidays? Too much, too fast, too crowded, too loud, too much!!!!!

A READER WROTE: I love my family and my in-laws, but only in small doses. The string of holidays coming up fills me with dread because I feel pressured to go from one social event to the next. The family is actually offended when I don't show up - no matter what excuse I make - because they think that I should WANT to be with them. Family pressure can be worse than teen-aged peer pressure. Any suggestions about how to stop feeling OBLIGATED TO BE SOCIAL?

Dear OBLIGATED TO BE SOCIAL,

How heartily I sympathize with you! For introverts, holidays can be, well, an ordeal. Actually, I think Dante’s Inferno should have included an eternal sentence to family gatherings and holidays for the crime of perpetrating them on others!

Don’t get me wrong. I love my family. I have explained to each of them carefully and patiently on many occasions that I’m an introvert, holidays are exhausting and I’d rather plan my visits with them at quiet times during the year when we can really visit.

There’s a more serious side as well. Introverts are stressed with socializing. We give energy; extroverts take energy. Being stressed at this time of year can easily lead to illness.

Let’s look at a strategy here. We need to break this down into bite sized pieces so you can win from the very start. I call this “Nancy’s Surefire Five Stage Introverts’ Recovery from Frenetic Over Activity at Holidays Game Plan”. Let’s assume that over the next five years, you’re going to turn the holidays into something that works for you.

Stage One: We begin with the inside first, because from the inner comes the outer. Let’s begin with a (1) declaration of independence, (2) the resolution to persevere and succeed no matter how slowly at first and (3) the sure knowledge that you will find the ways and means. For this year, that’s quite enough. You may not be able to bring much change in your outer world but you have a plan and it will succeed.

Step Two, Level One: Begin the educating process. Each time you interact with a family member during the months and year ahead, also at this year’s holiday events, find a way to slip in a remark about introversion as a legitimate personality style. It’s true, introverts need to spend at least half their time alone for good mental health. If you need to brush up on your facts, there are some good resources for free on the Internet including www.keirsey.com and my site.

Stage Two, Level Two: Also during this time period and the year ahead -- and this is critical to success -- whenever you interact with a family member outside of the holiday context, especially one-on-one, plant the seed.

Use some positive reinforcement for your Game Plan. Tell them how much you are enjoying this quiet visit, how meaningful it is to interact with them without the distraction of so many other people around and how much easier it is for you because you’re an introvert and introverts [insert any one of the qualities about introversion you want them to learn.]

Remember when people are learning something new, you can often repeat exactly the same thing many times before they actually hear it. This is human nature, so be patient and willing to repeat simple information many times.

Stage Three: At next year’s holidays, after a full year of love, attention, consciousness raising and educating, you’ll remind your dear ones on a few occasions that as an introvert you’re going to pass on this one.

Stage Four: Following years, you’ll excuse yourself from at least half the events or attend only half the time, and at the same time begin creating ways of observing the holidays that are more meaningful to you. I like staring at the Christmas tree lights and listening to beautiful music in my own home. I find this spiritual and fulfilling. I also like candles. And I totally love singing carols at the piano with my daughter.

Stage Five: Complete emancipation, enjoying the holidays your way. A little with the dear ones, a lot for yourself! It can take awhile, but progress will be noted and relief is afforded every stage along the way.

It also sounds like you have a family we describe in astrology as Neptunian. (There are two basic types of families, Uranian and Neptunian.) Neptunian families actually fear people who can stand alone and are threatened by them. Perhaps that is why you were born in to this family. The secret healing is that in beginning to carve out your own territory, you will be giving others in the family permission to do so as well. Watch and see! It’s exciting for people to discover that they can differentiate and come into their own. You’ll be leading the way.

P.S. As a warm introvert who loves people, I’ll pass along to you my #1 bullet to load in the gun when things just get too much this year. Plead sick but -- here's the special clue -- be sure to use the family values: “I’m not going to come because it would just kill me for (frail 90-year old Uncle Sweetheart) or (NewBorn Baby Tootsie) to catch what I’ve got. It just wouldn’t be right.”

In this example, you’re making the family values work for you. Be sure to say what vulnerable members of the family you are protecting thoughtfully by not coming. This indicates that you are thinking of the family at all times, whether or not you can personally be there.

Good luck! Check back with me this time next year for progress. If you have any questions about this, please email me. Also send me your holiday recovery stories to share with other introverts.

DM asked me how I did a reading. Here's my answer.

Dear DM,

I'd be delighted to answer your questions. I am a gifted infp (healer type personality on MBTI tests) and have been since childhood. My desire is to heal and enlighten people, to give them insight and a strategy that is spiritual and empowering, with whatever life has presented and to help them understand themselves better and why this event is in their lives. My readings are positive and honest to the very best of my ability.

I have the full range of gifts -- clairvoyant, intuitive, psychic, empath, telepath, healer, spiritual teacher -- but most of all a very profound understanding of human nature and the ability to see very deeply into people and their lives. I have studied world religions and their practices such as shamanism, meditation, yoga -- world mythology, world history, Jungian psychology, several foreign languages, evolution, symbolism, every known system of divination including Tarot, I Ching and the Runes, metaphysics ; also astrology, numerology and other reality paradigms and current management and organizational theories. I have over 30 years experiences, 15 years of doing this full time. It it the only thing I do to earn a living. I am a full time professional. My IQ is well into the genius range.

I have three huge websites you and she might visit to learn more. Each of them has an "about Nancy" section and a "comments" section with quotes from people who have visited with me recently and through the years. One of my sites gets more than 1,000 hits a month. I also have articles published all over the web under my professional name, Nancy R. Fenn. If you do a google search for "Nancy R. Fenn", you will find many pages to look at.

These are my three primary sites:

• astrology: www.bemyaastrologer.com
• psycic and Tarot: www.bemyguide.net
• introversion: www.theintrovertzcoach.com

When I read for someone I prefer to have their birth data so I can flash on their astrology chart. Some people also opt for a full chart reading (learn more at www.bemyastrologer.com/services.html)
When I read for you, DM, for example, I use several Tarot decks, plus your astrology and extra sensory perceptions.

Every reading is absolutely unique. Some will reveal much about the past; some focus on the future; some center on the now moment. Some are very psychological, some are more spiritual. It depends on the person. I also just trust the process. I prefer that the person I'm reading for participates fully in the session in a dialogue style where information is passed back and forth to reach the highest possible plane. It is not a guessing game or a test. As I often say, "The more you tell me, the more I can tell you." It's synergistic, co-creative and alchemical. This way I will be able to merge fully with you and experience the world inside and around you and direct the energy for you and with you.

I do enjoy doing business readings. On the Gallup Management Organization's Strengthsfinder Inventory, "strategy" is my #1 talent ... go figure! I had over 12 years' experience in business and finance before going into this field. My father was Ray Garrett, Jr., the 19th Chairman of the Securities Exchange Commission, appointed by Nixon.

Family Hell from Anyara (on a bad day)

Aries
If the sadistic father never beats his child, perhaps because he is afraid of his wife, or because it is against his progressive ideas of education, his 'non-violent' behaviour will produce the same reaction because his eyes convey to the child the same sadistic impulse that his hands would do in beating him. - Erich Fromm

Taurus
People talk about dysfunctional families; I've never seen any other kind. - Sue Grafton

Gemini
Feminized by maternal tendencies, dulled by the absence of the stern Moses who has begotten me, puffed with pride by my grandfather's adoration, I was a pure object, doomed par excellence to masochism if only I could have believed in the family play-acting. But no. It perturbed me only on the surface, and the depths remained cold, unjustified. The system horrified me. - Jean-Paul Sartre

Cancer
Unkindness is death to the home. One unkind, unsocial, critical, eternally dissatisfied member can destroy any family. - Kathleen Norris

Leo
It takes awfully long to become aware that the parents and their own childhood is the worst problem in education. - Markku Lahtela

Virgo
No stranger can get a great many notes of torture out of a human soul; it takes one that knows it well, - parent, child, brother, sister, intimate. - O.W. Holmes, Sr.

Libra
From the moment of birth, when the Stone-Age baby confronts the twentieth-century mother, the baby is subjected to these forces of violence called love, as its father and mother and their parents and their parents before them, have been. These forces are mainly concerned with destroying most of its potential. - R.D. Laing

Scorpio
To make the child in your own image is a capital crime, for your image is not worth repeating. The child knows this and you know it. Consequently you hate each other. - Karl Shapiro

Sagittarius
Nobody who has not been in the interior of a family can say what the difficulties of any individual of that family may be. - Jane Austin

Capricorn
If Mr. Vincent Price were to be co-starred with Miss Bette Davis in a story by Mr. Edgar Allan Poe directed by Mr. Roger Corman, it could not fully express the pent-up violence and depravity of a single day in the life of the average family. - Quentin Crisp

Aquarius
Hell, I hated the bastard... - Jim Hoffa about his son

Pisces
The hearts of small children are delicate organs. A cruel beginning in this world can twist them into curious shapes. The heart of a hurt child can shrink so that forever afterward it is hard and pitted as the seed of a peach. Or, again, the heart of such a child may fester and swell until it is misery to carry within the body, easily chafed and hurt by the most ordinary things. - Carson Smith McCullers

Are you an INFP?

Did you know this about INFPs ... we can 'generally exert a positive secret influence on our surroundings' without even knowing it. Jung described the INFP as one in whom 'still waters run deep'.

Can you think of examples of this with someone you know?

One young woman that roomed with me for several years told me it had changed her life to be in a home with so much peace and centeredness. She hadn't realized how much melodrama and "busy"ness there had been in her life before that.

Tap3Times publishes papers on the "types". One of my readers, David DeVaughn, clued me in to this site. David has written several great articles for The IntrovertZCoach on business and networking topics. He's currently working on one about relating to these pesky "S" types who so proliferate in business.

I am printing below an excerpt from Tap3Times. It's about the concentration of ESTJs in business, organization and society and how this has come to dominate the scene around us.

ESTJs are called "The Supervisor". Perhaps this is unfair, but if people were cars, one might be tempted to call the ESTJs gross polluters. Compromising 15% of the population, ESTJs make up the most populous group of all the types. Their taste defines much of what we eat, see, hear and experience in public places where we have no choice. Think of an ESTJ next time you're at a mall.

ESTJs are described as follows:

ESTJ
One of the two 'extraverted thinking types' (the other is the ENTJ)....

• Not interested in that which is not practical or realistic.
• Matter-of-fact, hard-headed business types.
• Wants to organize and control things.
• Good administrators but not always considerate of others' feelings.

The E(S/N)TJs are the "executives", who enjoy "administration"; they have a natural interest in control and in "running things" , and demonstrate a "willingness to issue strict orders". [note to self: run, don't walk, in opposite direction].

• They want to be the ones who make the decisions and write the rules by which others live.
• They are not shy about requiring conformity of others.
• They have no compunction about "inflicting [their] own judgment upon other people".
• They are analytical and impersonal -- decisive, logical, strong in reasoning power.
• Their emotional life is described as "accidental", and underdeveloped.

Feeling is very strong, but it does not flow toward the object. It is rather like being in a state of love with oneself. ... The hidden introverted feeling of the extraverted feeling type establishes strong invisible loyalties. ... In a politician, the inferior feeling function might unconsciously manifest itself in a deep-rooted and steadfast loyalty to his country. But it might also induce him to drop an atom bomb or commit some other destructive act.

Unconscious and undeveloped feeling is barbaric and absolute, and therefore sometimes hidden destructive fanaticism burst out of the extraverted thinking type.... the excessive nature of the primitive feelings ... .

• prone to the "open expression of anger"
• and also lust
• an "all or nothing" style.
• excess is an "antidote to boredom", and (we might add) to underdeveloped feeling
• late hours, heavy entertainment, bingeing
• too much, too loud, too many."
• [sounds like the mall , the cruiseship, the theme park, video games, rock concerts, tv programming ....]
• difficulty in identifying aspects of the self
• when affected by others, can deny real feelings by withdrawal, by claiming boredom, or by internally blaming the self.

Also this from Tap3Times about the least frequent types of introverts (intuitive, feeling, perceptive).

The less frequent types find their infrequency an obstacle to their development. In the general population, there may be three extraverts to every introvert and three sensing types to every intuitive...

Unless the introverts with intuition are stoutly skeptical of the mass assumption that a difference is an inferiority, their faith in their type will diminish. They will not trust and exercise their preferences, which, accordingly, will not be developed enough to be beneficial. These people are cheated out of the successful undertakings that would give them faith in their type.

Nancy's comment: This is a critical statement -- their preferences .... will not be developed enough to be beneficial. How does one develop intuition? I have an online course with this objective. Please email me for information. I can help you with this! I've been teaching people for 25 years how to develop their intuition. The article continues:

Their usual way of adapting is this:

• trying to change their type (resulting in a phenomenon Pederson (1993, p. 231) calls the 'turn-type)' -- also see www.benziger.org for comments on "falsifying type" and the tremendous toll it will take on your health;
  
• trying to "pass" as another socially valued type.
  
• simply leaving organizations or finding lifestyles that require minimal organizational involvement; or,
  
• accepting ill-suited roles in organizations and thereby risking a greater potential for failure than an individual might encounter in a role suited to his/her capacities and orientation.

The Hidden Agendas for the 8 different types of introverts, from SOCIONICS.

INTj, INFj => to be healthy
ISFp, INFp => to understand
ISTj, ISFj => to believe
INTp, ISTp => to love

Test Your V.I. Skills
Socionics is similar to Keirsey and MBTI but has some differences. A fascinating feature on their site is an attempt to describe each type physically (tricky waters). Here is the LINK for a test of your visual acuity in recognizing types. I was amazed at how much I looked like the intp. The other types I really don't know well enough.

SEE STATs
INTJs and INFPs are by far the biggest users of this site. The internet was certainly invented just for the pleasure of the introverts, wasn't it :-)

Ingrid Cordeiro has some fantastic cosmetics and skin care products. Visit her on the web and place an order.

Event December 11, 2004
If you live in the San Diego area, Hadley Ajana is hosting an Amnesty International Global Write-a-Thon December 11, 2004 at The Living Room Coffeehouse from 9 am to 6 pm.

Come and help Ajana reach her goal of 200 letters written to and for prisoners of conscience. Letters and postcards will be provided for you to sign or use her materials to write your own. She will accept donations for 80cent stamps but they're not necessary. Just bring yourself and contribute a few minutes of your time.

The Living Room, one of my favorite places in San Diego, is located at 5900 El Cajon Blvd. just west of College Avenue.

Metafilter is a BLOG with an interesting dialogue abut introversion.

Great stuff from Socionics - do these physical descriptions seem right to you? What's your introvert type?

INFPs
INFPs mainly have slim figures, however well-built INFPs are not that uncommon. Their gait is usually graceful and full of poise as they like to project an image of self-worthiness. Their eyes vary from large to small, however if they are isolated a characteristic pattern emerges. Narrow eyes give the impression that the person is smiling whereas wider eyes convey a feeling of curiosity.

During conversation INFPs have a tendency to maintain eye contact and to touch their interlocutors hand. They often have a very noticeable shy grin that appears when they worried or excited, or when someone focuses other's attention on them.

ISFPs
ISFPs have a characteristic stout or chubby, rounded figure. They often have short legs and a bouncy gait, giving the impression of a big springy ball. Their faces are usually smooth and round without any obvious projections. Sometimes ISFPs can have slightly upturned noses. Their eyes are often round. Their mouths sometimes have an uneven line. In moments of passionate conversation they often swallow air like a fish.

When ISFPs try to explain things, they can move their eyebrows considerably. This is the reason why they often have horizontal wrinkles on their forehead. ISFPs generally appear to be soft-hearted, but can become quite assertive if required. Their facial expression can change suddenly and unexpectedly from friendly one to a stern one, especially when they wish to distance themselves psychologically from someone. ISFPs are often inclined to give advise concerning will power and initiative.

INTJs
INTJs have a characteristic ascetic face. There are two reason for this. Firstly the facial structure itself is often reminiscent of ancient portraits because of its angularity and composition of the features, like cheekbone and eyebrow arcs. Secondly their facial expression is often accepted as emotionless and severe. Their face is usually pale or bloodless. Males often have a short haircut.

In many cases INTJs are slim. Their stomach is usually placed ahead of the chest giving them their characteristic posture. Their gait is somewhat unsure, wavering slightly. Sometimes it seems like they are not sure where they are going. This becomes more obvious in moments of excitement. Their clothes are not usually very striking. INTJs do not like to attract excessive attention to themselves and most of the time they stick to simple clothes, often wearing the same style and composition for a long time.

ISTJs
ISTJs often have a very firm, solid figure, especially males. They keep their feet rooted to the ground giving the impression that they are sturdy and secure. Their heads are firmly fixed squarely to their shoulders and are practically immovable. Their necks appear to be inflexible so when they turn their head their shoulders usually follow. Their facial expressions are somewhat unemotional and show great concentration.

Male ISTJs often wear a moustache. If they do not have one then there probably is a logical reason for it, as in general they all agree that a moustache is a good idea. Their clothes are often clean, ironed and tidy. They follow strict styles, never being too flashy or extravagant. It is as if military uniforms were designed specifically for ISTJs. They take great care of their appearance and may criticise people who do not.

INTPs
INTPs often have a characteristic round-shouldered posture. Their necks are often not as well proportioned as other types and their heads seem to strain forwards. Their eyes have a sorrowful look about them as if they are about to be victimised in some way. Their lips are usually not very expressive or defined. Their noses are somewhat aquiline in shape which combined with often flattened cheekbones giving the false impression that their noses are large.

During conversation INTPs may project their lower lips forward. INTPs often show poor control of their lower jaw, allowing them to hang down. INTPs normal facial expressions usually reflect wisdom and great life experience or sadness and victimisation. Although INTPs are introverts, some of them may behave in a very extroverted manner.

ISFJs
ISFJs often have a very characteristic facial expression that usually shows alertness and readiness to resist. Sometimes their regular facial expression may show dissatisfaction, a critical disposition or even anger. When ISFJs are thinking they may fix their eyes to an object or person for a long period. In these cases their eyes may show a look of bewilderment in reflection to the situation they are in. ISFJs can remain in the same position for a long time.

ISFJs normally have slightly thick lips which they normally keep tightly together. Their facial structure is smooth, with a distinct lack of prominent or sharp cheek bones. ISFJs can have very slim and elongated figures as well as full figures with big, wide shoulders. Their clothes are always tidy and often strictly elegant with a touch of officially even when they are not at work.

INFJs
INFJs have a very characteristic dispassionate facial expression. This is often reminiscent of the depiction of saints and martyrs from early Christian icons. Their faces convey the feeling that their soul is suffering even when it is not. INFJs faces are often perfect ovals but can be rectangular in shape as well. Their noses are usually straight and slightly elongated, but not prominent.

INFJs do not show intense positive emotions, instead they simply smile. All their facial expressions openly reproach nefarious happenings. The same can be noticed in their intonation. In many cases INFJs have a slim, ascetic figure. Their movements are often quite harsh although not lacking mobility. INFJs with more fuller figures are less mobile and active. When walking, INFJs may keep their feet close and parallel to the ground, maintaining a short distance between each step.

ISTPs
ISTPs normally have a very characteristic passionless facial expression, indeed their whole appearance shows a lack of emotion which may be interpreted as calmness, mystery or inaccessibility. Some ISTPs hide their lack of emotion behind the slightly artificial smile of a person who is seeking sensible pleasures. Their facial expressions often show scepticism or mistrust. Their faces are usually oval in shape and get more narrow towards the bottom, however more square faces are not rare.

Their mouth line is often calm, straight and turned slightly downwards at the corners. ISTPs have a characteristic one sided smile which when combined with their scepticism can sometimes be interpreted as self-satisfaction. Their teeth are often of equal width and their mouth is usually kept tightly shut even when relaxed. ISTPs also have a characteristic springy gait with the knees slightly bent giving them a characteristic surreptitious walk. In many cases ISTPs have athletic physical structures. ISTPs prefer informal or sporty style clothes which look more comfortable than aesthetic. Clothes usually fit ISTPs well.

"I thought that I was just being a sourpuss for not wanting to shake hands during church." -- a visitor to the IntrovertZCoach.

As you know, we are on a crusade to get some compassion for introverts who attend worship services. My article, Booty Grabbing at Your Place of Worship? deals humorously with this issue and includes a feedback form.

Here's feedback from a visitor I found particularly humorous.

Have you had any experiences in the past that could compare to the comments in the article? If so, what? Yes! It's refreshing to find that there are other people in the world that feel the same way I do. I thought that I was just being a sourpuss for not wanting to shake hands during church. I dislike it for a number of reasons. First, it seems awkward to go to a church service, sit down, start the service and then have this strange interruption where everyone stands up, turns around, shakes hands (some people have to run up and down the aisle), then sit down and the service continues.

Secondly, some people shake hands too hard! On numerous occasions I've had my fingers crunched. Then I'm mad all during church because my hand hurts. Sometimes my hand continues to hurt throughout the week. I told one guy at our church, "I'm not shaking your hand any more because you squeeze too hard." I think I hurt his feelings and then I felt bad about that for about a year.

Thirdly, peoples hands are contaminated and it would be inconvenient for everyone to wash their hands after "the shake". I've considered using that antibacterial hand sanitizer. One time there was a little girl in front of me with green snot running out of her nose. Her uncle took a handkerchief out of his pocket, wiped her nose, stuck it back into his pocket and then the minister announced "the handshake". Yuck!!!! When he turned around to shake my hand, I tried to turn around and shake hands with the person behind me and ignore the snot wiper, but he was persistent and to avoid being rude, I had to shake his hand. [Nancy's comment: too gross for words!]

I'm posting this in my BLOG in the hopes someone will read it who plans church services.

We had a wonderful trip to San Francisco. Saw many friends, rode the cable car, endured a noisy lockout and listened to some fantastic tapes coming and going. This time be brought along healthy snacks and were much happier, apples, raisins, tuna sandwiches on wheatberry bread.
The Fairmont has many happy memories for me.

We had dinner at Farallon, a restaurant in Union Square that is supposed to look like underseas. The waitress asked me if I wanted my coho salmon rare or medium. Yikes! SF is out ahead again on raw fish. I asked for mine well done, thank you.

I'll be out of town until Wednesday, November 17.

Nurturing a Lifestyle of Health During the Holidays

I found this statement at the health club for the Fairmont Hotel in San Francisco where I'll be staying next week. I join with these thoughts and will provide helpful tips here throughout the holiday season.

"As we approach Thanksgiving and welcome the holiday season, we face challenges unique to this time of year. Not only are we continuing to go about our regular work and family lives, but we're also trying to fit in all of the other "to-dos" that make this time of year so special. Shopping for gifts. Baking treats. Volunteering to help those in need. ... Traveling to visit friends and family. Attending office parties. Cooking celebratory meals.

"We're getting less sleep, fighting crowds, over-scheduling our days, and suffering from jet lag. We're more tired, more stressed, and more likely to abandon our health routine when time is at such a premium.

"This month, we present inspiring ideas to help you maintain a lifestyle of health throughout the holidays. There's no reason that enthusiastically embracing the holidays and staying fit should be mutually exclusive concepts.

"Why not resolve now, instead of waiting for January 1, to stay healthy and fit year-round?

"Here's to a joyful and balanced start to the holiday season. "

Tip #1`... plan on doing about half as many things as you'd really like to. You'll be glad you did when you get on the scale at the end of the holidays! If you're an introvert, begin your education campaign now ... "I'd love to but I'm an introvert and we get exhausted quickly, so I'll just drop by for a few minutes." Everytime you say that to someone with no apologies, you're raising consciousness and helping another introvert.

If you would like to share your holiday experiences for other introverts, please email me your article and I will publish it on my website.

Laura Bush ... from the Waist Up

President Bush's relationship with the press is "different" to put it mildly. You can see this easily in his chart, also the dyslexia and speech "issues". To me, his chart shows a brilliant mind with little ability to express it verbally. The two don't always go together. You can visit some of my articles on this topic here:

Nietzsche and Schizophrenia in the Birth Chart
Pluto Travels through the Mind

Verbal communication and the press are ruled by Gemini.

I'm visiting Washington, DC this winter. The styles are so different on the Coasts ... here in SoCal you could practically wear a designer sweat suit anyway. I have a great business suit I love but I decided I'd better check the lengths women are wearing in DC. Mine hits right below the knees. Why not start at the top with Laura Bush?

Want to see something interesting? Put "Laura Bush" in google and then click "images". You will get a dozen pages of photographs showing Laura Bush from the waist up and a couple of her sitting or standing in a pantsuit. I think in all the ones I saw there was one full length shot of Laura Bush in a skirt (knee length). Hmmmm. No shots of Laura Bush below the waist (she has chunky legs).

Please tell me Someone has not influenced the press to crop shots or publish them not at all. I didn't realize that was still possible at such a mundane level especially with someone as unpopular with the press as Bush. I remember Jackie Kennedy was never photographed smoking although she was a chain smoker. (It was her acknowledged weight loss program.) I would have thought today things were different, at least in the USofA as against the UK where the Royals can control their image pretty definitively still.

I don't know about you but I love children's illustrattions. The New York Times' Book Review awards have come out for 2004 for the best illustrated children's stories. You can read more here.

This is a sample from KITTEN'S FIRST FULL MOON , written and illustrated by Kevin Henkes. Greenwillow/HarperCollins. (Ages 2 to 5)

The Month from StarIQ
"The deep waters of the New Moon in Scorpio (November 12) become charged with electricity at the Gemini Full Moon (November 26). Expect emotional concentration and intensity to give way to a radically different view of reality. The mirror of memory is shattered, frightening us where we cling to the past, but liberating us where we are ready to leap into tomorrow. Deep descent is followed by flight. It can be an escape to fantasy or a breakthrough in consciousness, depending upon how much of our shadow we're willing to face."

It's the beginning of that time of year when thousands of introverted kids get tortured under the guise of well meaning holiday hoopla.

Save an introverted kid's health and well being this year ... read more and please share with friends and relatives.

This holiday promise yourself when you see someone unknowingly torturing an introverted kid with huge crowds, Disneyland*, loud noises, bright lights ... say something! What are the signs? That blank look of utter "put me anywhere but here", headaches, throwing up, irritability.

First aid: a drink of water and get them out of the situation as soon as possible!

* Disneyland from Hell according to many of the introverts we interviewed. It is just not a pleasant place for introverts, so please take us somewhere else for our holidays and birthdays. Here's an article about Birthday Parties for introverted kids that may help.

Say yes to:

• quiet music
• trimming the tree with the immediate family
• cooking with mom or dad
• wrapping presents

Let There Be Peace on Earth and let it begin with me.
Let There Be Peace on Earth, the peace that was meant to be!
With God as our Father, brothers all are we.
Let me walk with my brother in perfect harmony.
Let peace begin with me. Let this be the moment now.
With ev'ry breath I take, let this be my solemn vow;
To take each moment and live each moment in peace eternally!
Let there be peace on earth and let it begin with me!
Written by Sy Miller and Bill Jackson

It's Your New Moon, Use it Wisely
The guys at STAR IQ do it again! Here's their description of the great use of the New Scorpio Moon on the 12th. This Moon is important as it follows closely on the heels of Uranus going direct (the 11th) and precedes Mars' entry into Scorpio the following day. This is very volatile energy, so direct it wisely and duck all possible bullets coming from unconscious folks in the near vicinty, too. There will be many people spoiling for a fight and behaving in other irrational ways.

Here is the conscious use of this New Moon from the guys at StarIQ. (I couldn't have said it better myself.)

The New Moon in Scorpio begins with endings, by letting go of old fears and worn-out desires. It's time to empty ourselves so that deeper needs can be recognized, ones that are emotional and feel dangerous. It is risky to let go of the safety of familiar values and to question the very foundation of relationship, yet the alternative is to cower in the shadows of denial, refusing to look fully into our hearts.

Here's some great tips for becoming a woman. Visit Esmerelda Jones.

These 10 sophisticated tips are secrets that fully aware women have perfected. Test them. They need to be well thought over and considered daily until you possess them. Never dismiss the potency of knowledge to get you what you want.

1. Cultivate mystique. Don't disclose private details or your past.

2. Be suggestive. Intensify his emotions without being open.

3. Be potentially available.

4. Learn poise --- come out of every situation cool. Raw language and tantrums disclose your female inadequacies.

5. Leave them short. Men, being natural hunters, get bored when desserts are served as a first course.

6. You decide what you’re worth. Make certain that you have your own life --- and live it!

7. Don’t be familiar. You don't want to be treated like an old pair of slippers. Let him have the pleasure of his own private life.

8. Grooming and etiquette are not out of date. I will add that, no matter what the fashion, there is absolutely nothing more alluring to a male's inner pull than a woman confident of her femininity.

9. Run your own financial life --- be quietly rich. Personal management is smart.

10. Never take leftovers. You are not desperate or dependent.

The most important tip is to control your emotions, or your life will run away in far flung directions. You must ask the mirror each morning "What do I want?" and continue throughout the day steadfast with your blueprint.

Women who imagine poor standards for themselves often attempt to possess men with psychological handcuffs. They flash signals of their fears in cloying, smothering behaviour, such as snooping and persistent phone calls. Set aside these demands now. Do a mindmap of your future.

Jot this down:

You will have no end of trouble if you deceive a man into marriage. His discontent will rear up nastily.

Your career and lifestyle must have your immediate attention. Seek mentors and associate with a new crowd of positive people who will encourage your confidence. Promise yourself a book a week.

Pursue knowledge in every key area of your blueprint, itemizing your steps to fulfilment.

Replace the loop of wishing with doing. Vitality moves the slump.

Change the stale energy by invoking the ancient art of Feng Shui. One fascinating website is: www.wofs.com

Don't dwell on "rejections" by stuffing your emotions with chocolate and poisonous thoughts. There is no cure here. Pampering the mind is dangerous. Fluffy friends want you to remain part of the gang.

Acting girlish to escape responsibility is silly, simplistic and dizzy. Study the media and popular opinion. Can you slip out of the leash and make some serious decisions? Sometime in your life you will realize that you must command your own ship.

Answer some questions.

Who is taking your money?

Can you cut your credit?

An organized mind is vastly superior to a "happy mess".

Do you escape maturity by declaring yourself "hopeless" when you are truly lazy?

Are you flattered when others refer to you as "dippy?"

If he turns your dial does he get a cheap soapie?

Is your blotchy past public property?

Are you compelled to give everyone five minute updates on your diary?

It’s time to become a woman.

If you are looking for a relationship with a man, don’t show yourself as emotionally hungry, and be careful to accept only your ideal man. By the way, there is no shortage of such wonderful men, but you must arrange for your life to happen.

Would you be willing to wear a live strong bracelet to support my nephew Marshall who has a brain tumor and beloved H who has cancer in his kidney? Please let me know and I will send you one.
Email me and put "livestrong" in the subject line. Please include your name and mailing address.

What we are pleased to call illusion may be for the psyche an extremely important life-factor, something as indispensable as oxygen for the body. ... Presumably the psyche does not trouble itself about our categories of reality; for it, everything that works is real. -- Carl Jung

Sometimes when I can't have something I want in the outer world, I carry it on in my imagination and feel quite good. My subconscious mind doesn't know the difference. It's the same as when you take a guided meditation, to the beach, and body acts just like it IS at the beach.

We started the SouthBeach diet this week, having gotten tired of the Zone, SlimFast and other diets we used in the past. We are taking turns three times a week to make a meal that is from Stage 1 of SouthBeach. That way each of us gets two meals served for one they cook and serve. I'm getting used to fat free jello for desert because there isn't that much else on offer. Ricotta cheese with various ingredients ?? I eat mostly turkey, vegetables and lamb anyway. It's an easy enough diet. I jog usually 1 1/2 to 2 hours a day and/or play tennis for an hour. I have a wonderful tape to jog with, from FlashDance!

The Sabian Symbols are online now. Look up the degree of your Sun and read the metaphor thata goes with it. The Sabian symbols were dictated on the bridge at Balboa Park in San Diego.

On a more personal note, my daughter and I are continuing in the tennis tournament, yet to win a set. We're getting better though!

It's been raining heavily in San Diego the last two weeks in October and the creek on my proper is "running". It's a favorite sound.

We're planning a trip to San Francisco next Monday and Tuesday to see a program connected with my father and to visit the redwoods. Great time of year to go to San Francisco and we're staying at the wonderful old Fairmont. We're driving up along the coast.

Thanks for being a client or a visitor to the websites.

OK, verbivores, this is for you and me cause we love words. The Washington Post's Style Invitational once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.

Here are this year's winners:

Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

Foreploy (v): Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.

Giraffiti (n): Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

Inoculatte (v): To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

Hipatitis (n): Terminal coolness.

Osteopornosis (n): A degenerate disease. (This one got> >> extra credit.)

Karmageddon (n): It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

Glibido (v): All talk and no action.

Dopeler effect (n): The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you're eating.

And the pick of the literature: Ignoranus (n): A person who's both stupid and an asshole.

Andrea in Germany, let's see how good your English is! Do you get most of these? I can't even imagine doing this in a foreign language and Andrea speaks Czech.

Jeanne Avery was here with us this weekend for a small group session. We had a full day with Jeanne learning her incredible ways with predictions and rectification.

Jeanne has four small dogs who are just adorable.

I will be offering some prediction specials in the weeks ahead as soon as I fine tune her method. Jeanne is a fantastic astrologer, one of the true "greats" and it is such a thrill to be around someone like her for an entire day! Very warm, loving, brilliant and so wllung to share.

I really love this article because it is a clever way to addess religious fundamentalism.

Reprint from the New York Times, October 23, 2004
God and Sex
By NICHOLAS D. KRISTOF

So when God made homosexuals who fall deeply, achingly in love with each other, did he goof?
That seems implicit in the measures opposing gay marriage on the ballots of 11 states. All may pass; Oregon is the only state where the outcome seems uncertain.

Over the last couple of months, I've been researching the question of how the Bible regards homosexuality. Social liberals tend to be uncomfortable with religious arguments, but that is the ground on which political battles are often decided in America - as when a Texas governor, Miriam "Ma" Ferguson, barred the teaching of foreign languages about 80 years ago, saying, "If English was good enough for Jesus Christ, it's good enough for us."

I think it's presumptuous of conservatives to assume that God is on their side. But since Americans are twice as likely to believe in the Devil as in evolution, I also think it's stupid of liberals to forfeit the religious field.

Some scholars, like Daniel Helminiak, author of "What the Bible Really Says About Homosexuality," argue that the Bible is not anti-gay. I don't really buy that.

It's true that the story of Sodom is treated by both modern scholars and by ancient Ezekiel as about hospitality, rather than homosexuality. In Sodom, Lot puts up two male strangers for the night. When a lustful mob demands they be handed over, Lot offers his two virgin daughters instead. After some further unpleasantness, God destroys Sodom. As Mark Jordan notes in "The Invention of Sodomy in Christian Theology," it was only in the 11th century that theologians began to condemn homosexuality as sodomy.

In fact, the most obvious lesson from Sodom is that when you're attacked by an angry mob, the holy thing to do is to offer up your virgin daughters.

Still, the traditionalists seem to me basically correct that the Old Testament does condemn at least male anal sex (scholars disagree about whether the Hebrew phrasing encompasses other sexual contact). While homosexuality never made the Top 10 lists of commandments, a plain reading of the Book of Leviticus is that male anal sex is every bit as bad as other practices that the text condemns, like wearing a polyester-and-cotton shirt (Leviticus 19:19).

As for the New Testament, Jesus never said a word about gays, while he explicitly advised a wealthy man to give away all his assets and arguably warned against bank accounts ("do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth").

Likewise, Jesus praises those who make themselves eunuchs for the Kingdom of Heaven, but conservative Christians rarely lead the way with self-castration.

Theologians point out that that the Bible is big enough to encompass gay relationships and tolerance - as well as episodic condemnations of gays. For example, 1 Samuel can be read as describing gay affairs between David and Jonathan.

In the New Testament, Matthew and Luke describe how Jesus cured the beloved servant of a centurion - and some scholars argue that the wording suggests that the pair were lovers, yet Jesus didn't blanch.

The religious right cites one part of the New Testament that clearly does condemn male homosexuality - not in Jesus' words, but in Paul's. The right has a tougher time explaining why lesbians shouldn't marry because the Bible has no unequivocal condemnation of lesbian sex.
A passage in Romans 1 objects to women engaging in "unnatural" sex, and this probably does mean lesbian sex, according to Bernadette Brooten, the author of a fascinating study of early Christian attitudes toward lesbians. But it's also possible that Paul was referring to sex during menstruation or to women who are aggressive during sex.

In any case, do we really want to make Paul our lawgiver? Will we enforce Paul's instruction that women veil themselves and keep their hair long? (Note to President Bush: If you want to obey Paul, why don't you start by veiling Laura and keeping her hair long, and only then move on to barring gay marriages.)

Given these ambiguities, is there any solution? One would be to emphasize the sentiment in Genesis that "it is not good for the human to be alone," and allow gay lovers to marry.
Or there's another solution. Paul disapproves of marriage except for the sex-obsessed, saying that it is best "to remain unmarried as I am." So if we're going to cherry-pick biblical phrases and ignore the central message of love, then perhaps we should just ban marriage altogether?

It's enough to make a believer out of you :-) Two Saturn Return films are coming out this winter: Finding Neverland and The Kinsey Report. Why are they Saturn Return movies?

Finding Neverland is about the author of Peter Pan, Sir James Barrie. He was born 5 Saturn Returns ago in 1860 with his Saturn in Leo.

This gives us a view of the inner working of the universe. At Saturn Returns events comes up for review just like the checkpoints people have in their own lives at 28-30 and 58-60. In a sense Sir James is experiencing a Return as people continue to learn from his life and workl. This also means that Sir James Barrie will be of special interest to those with Saturn in Leo throughout the ages.

Here's an interesting footnote from Barrie's life. Don't know if it's in the movie or not.

The power of the subconscious mind: [From Great Ormond Street Children's Charity] "For the first six years of his life, James [Barrie] lived in the shadow of his mother’s love for his older brother David. Tragically, on the eve of his 14th birthday, David was gravely injured in a skating accident and died shortly afterwards. While his mother derived some consolation from the notion that David would remain a boy forever, Barrie drew inspiration. In his desperate attempt to be loved and to replace David in his mother’s life, Barrie virtually became David.

"Trying so hard to be his brother stunted his own development – coincidentally at the same age at which his brother had died. At 14– and only five foot high – he stopped growing and never grew any taller."

The Kinsey Report came out in 1946 and is experiencing its third Saturn Return, just like Robert McNamara. If you were born in the 1960s or later, it may be hard for you to imagine the impact of this report by zoologist Dr. Alfred Kinsey. Its effects are still reverberating and apparently it's time for another look.

About the elections, there are a couple of things to keep in mind. Almost all astrologers predicted that Bush would win but "live to regret it". It remains to be seen in what particular way this is meant. The statement "and live to regret it" is straight out of classical/medieval astrology which uses very dramatic and sometimes foreboding language.

As to the near 50-50 split in our country... what could be more vitalizing? Look at the names of the parties, no coincidence, the Republican right and the Democratic left. We can read this like a tarot card or a painting. On the right is the conscious collective and on the left the companion, adversary or shadow like the Devil card, the "unconscious. When the two are close together like this it indicates a tremendous amount of awarenessof the shadow, an exceptional amount of awareness, not a split or fracturing. Knowledge of the shadow is a very good thing. Fracturing occurs when the right is 90-100% and the shadow is not acknowledged at all, less than 10% enfranchised. That's when the revolution occurs.

Here's an interesting prediction for the US for the years ahead in case you're wondering about the future of the United States of America. Click here.

LOVE TRIANGLES Skyscript, one of our favorite astrology sites, has a great article by Liz Greene, a definitive article by Liz Greene. Greene discusses why people get into love triangles and sheds some light on the end of the tunnel.

For those who don't know Liz Greene is god. Here's the official bio from Skyscript.

Liz Greene is one of the most active and respected members of the astrological community. She is well known throughout the world for her instrumental role in shaping modern psychological astrology. She holds a doctorate in psychology and is a qualified Jungian analyst. She also holds a diploma in counselling from the Centre for Transpersonal Psychology in London, and a diploma from the Faculty of Astrological Studies, of which she is a lifetime Patron. In addition, Liz is a lecturer at the Bath Spa University College MA course in Cultural Astronomy and Astrology, and the director of the Centre for Psychological Astrology (CPA), from which many of her published works are available. Liz Greene is a prolific writer and some of her many books on astrological and psychological themes include Saturn, Relating, Astrology for Lovers, The Astrology of Fate, and The Astrological Neptune: the Quest for Redemption. This article is adapted from her book Relationships and How to Survive Them, presently available in hardback (CPA Press, London, 1999), and soon to be released in paperback (due Nov, 2004). More of Liz Greene's articles are available online at the AstroDienst website.

Also complete the LOVE TRIANGLE SURVEY.

Paul Wade has chosen Nancy's BeMyAstrologer as site of the week. We're very honored! Paul has a beautiful site, too, with many resources. Take a visit.

The alchemical lion ... Saturn in Leo. Look at his face ... it isn't easy turning yourself into pure gold.

Israel was born under Saturn in Leo and exemplifies the "specialness" issue for those of you born under Saturn in Leo. Special ... a blessing? or a curse? Israel had to fight for its life the minute it was born and some of you, many of you, did, too. Many of you were clearly the favorites of a parent which put you at odds with the other parent and siblings.

These are some of the themes for Saturn Leo.

It is no coincidence that Yasar Arafat's light may be going out just as Palestine and Israel reach their second Saturn Return because the light will go out in Palestine as well ... but perhaps it is for a better tomorrow.

Saturn Return brings big issues like this in your personal life as well.

Many of you are going to be real icons in your cultures, too. Read more, >>>

A great site for metaphysical weight loss. LOVE IT OFF and the article entitled, "What Kind of Hungry am I?"

Reprint from the New York Times

TODAY'S EDITORIALS
What to Do on Election DayPublished: November 1, 2004

Civics books make voting look like a breeze, but it can be hard work. Voter rolls are inaccurate, ID requirements vary and are erratically enforced, partisans try to disqualify likely supporters of their opponents, and lines at the polls can be excruciatingly long. In 2000, as many as six million presidential votes were lost for technical reasons, and this year the number could be even larger. Voters, particularly in battleground states, should head to the voting booth prepared to fight for their vote to be counted:

1. Know where to go. In many