I LOVE this...the thing is she calls herself an introvert but is really just an extrovert suffering from some social anxiety. I wish people would understand there is a difference.
DEAR ABBY: I am married, have a daughter I love and a fulfilling job as a teacher. But when it comes to socializing at parties and small gatherings, I have a problem. My husband loves to socialize, which is good because his job is in sales. I'm the opposite. I have a hard time making small talk and become very uncomfortable in social situations. I guess you could call me an introvert. I sense that people pick up on my discomfort, which makes them uncomfortable, too. Sometimes I simply have nothing at all to say to these
people.
Abby, I'm tired of feeling like an odd duck at these kinds of events. I know I owe it to my husband to be supportive when he has to entertain. A while back, you offered a booklet I think might help me, but for the life of me, I can't find that column. How can I get the booklet? Life is too short to be anti-social and insecure. Sign me ... WILTING IN THE SPOTLIGHT IN NEW YORK
DEAR WILTING: Almost everyone suffers from insecurity in social situations at some point or another. People aren't born with social skills; they have to be developed. There are techniques that can be helpful -- and I do, indeed, have a booklet that may help you. Other readers have told me that, by following the suggestions, they have become more comfortable in social situations.
To order "How to Be Popular -- You're Never Too Young or Too Old," send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)
I [Nancy] asked her how she knows. She replies:
Hi,
Well it seems that she has some social anxiety which she can overcome with practice being around people. She says, "My husband loves to socialize...I have a hard time making small talk and become very uncomfortable in social situations."
My idea of an introvert is someone who may not necessarily be uncomfortable in public, but chooses to be around few people or none at all, it's how we're made (re: The Loner's Manifesto).
In fact in my reply to Dear Abby, I said to her, "Introverts are not on the outside looking in, we're on the outside because we want to be." I mean, I could give a speech in public, fine, no sweat, but if you asked me, "Shaye, which would you prefer: hosting a party for 300 guests or retreating to a quiet countryside ranch with just you, a book and your cats?" Guess which one I would choose?
Introverts aren't exactly uncomfortable in a timid, nervous way, it's just that we just lose energy easily. I could be at a party and make small talk with lots of people, but at the end of the evening I would be tired, not scared of people and definitely not energized as an extrovert would be. Yes, there are shy introverts but shyness and introversion are not one and the same.
Shaye :) --Happy Introvert in NJ
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home