INTROVERTS AND EXTROVERTS
ON THE JOB

by Ben L. Ames

 

Ben explains:

I have spent much of the last two years gently and
informally coaching extraverts at work on the
introvert approach to life. What I think they are
beginning to discover is that if they will give me a
lot of space and stop trying to suck energy out of me, I will appear at the right moment with support and attention to their needs.

In many ways, our ability to focus and stay on the
critical path is a blessing to extraverts who can get
whipped up in a frenzy going in 100 different
directions and not accomplishing a thing. After
repeated failure, a willingness arrives, to listen to
our unique view and allow us to help. Until that
point, I found it best to just watch it all happen.
Timing is indeed everything, and giving Extraverts
some space to work through their own process is
important too.

In the world, I see the beauty of extraverts feeding
off each other to create wonderful things, and the
balance of the introverts to refine them, make them
richer, and guide the process to completion.

Recently, we hired a programmer for our group. He is
very introverted. The previous programmer was an
extravert. They both contributed in meaningful ways.

PatricK, the extravert was great at addressing problems quickly, opening a dialogue with others to flush out everything that needed to be done, brainstorming solutions, and providing good technical guidance to our overseas programmers. As you would expect, the marketing folks loved him. Patrick was circular in thinking and very wide and broad in his action.

Rob on the other hand is our introverted programming replacement. Rob is focused and deep. He doesn't work near as fast as Patrick did and struggles to explain what it is he is seeing technically. The beauty of Rob is that if he is given an open space to work, he will dive in deeply to his work and emerge with solutions based on a thorough understanding of what is going on. His work is "top notch" quality and over the long term he knows more technically about the system faster because he is organized, methodical, and deep.

Everyone in our department liked Patrick. Patrick was funny, chatty, likable, and creative. Most people are stand offish to Rob because he comes to work to work, and he contributes with no fan fare. His work speaks for itself. Over time, I know that some of these people will see that Rob is rock solid, because he keeps coming forth with really intelligent and helpful solutions.

As a introvert who is project manager, I prefer Rob's
approach, but Patrick was a tremendous help to us as well. Really, I feel we need to be who we are and
reach a little bit to see and understand each other.
At every turn when someone makes an unkind or
derogatory remark, I will be providing the facts of
his contribution and gently explaining his personality
type. It is my hope that soon they will see that they
judged him based on a false impression and that his
quiet nature is not that he doesn't like them. It is
that he has a unique, special, and just as valid
approach to work and life.

I have to laugh to myself. Rob will come over to me
and spend time talking with me. He gives of himself to me. I know he senses that comfortable open and
unconditional space he has with me. That is the
message I want to bring to extraverts so we can get
out of the clash and competition of personalities and
arrive at the place where we are leveraging the good
in everyone to build wonderful things together instead of despite each other.

© nancy r. fenn