Lesson Six

health issues

I don't know how accurate you consider your Keirsey/MBTI rating unless you have told me during the online course, but I find mine, infp, the Healer, to be accurate. As a gifted intuitive healer, I know that mental health and physical health are delicately connected through the cords that bind the etheric or nonphysical body to the physical. "We" are not our bodies. We are souls that inhabit bodies. There is no doubt in my mind there is more to us than the physical. Though as a Healer, I no longer try to justify what I feel is self-evident, for those who are rationals, consider someone like Stephen Hawking, who lives in a debilitated body with a mind that transcends. Our bodies are formed and created from our predominant thoughts and feelings. In none moreso than in introverts, mental health IS physical health.

Some of the things I write in this section on health issues may seem strange to you. As an intuitive healer, I am committed to making this information available. If you are not relating to it, skip this section. If you have some of the problems I'm going to refer to, please give this information a chance to resonate with you. Time and time again in my 25 years of working with introverts, I have seen these symptoms, patterns and "conditions". It is an urgent matter for me to pass my insights along in order to further my life path as a healer. As long as I can remember, it has filled me with righteous anger to see people suffer from disease or disability when I know that we are created to be whole and healthy. To remain healthy all our lives, we need to take responsibility for our own health. We need to use preventive health care.

Your health is not the doctor's responsibility or"the government's" responsibility. It is you who makes the choices that lead to a naturally well functioning body or one that breaks down. These choices are made in small ways every day. The basic building blocks of good preventive health care have stood the test of time and most of them are "free": fresh air, sunshine good night's sleep with a restful conscience, positive thoughts, time alone as well as time together, peace with fellow humans, stress management and a recognition and appreciation for the gift of life through some kind of connection to a higher power. If you doubt the truth of this for even a minute, take the time to explore all the great religions of the world. From Socrates to the the Dalai Lama, this is the winning formula.

The Two M's of Being an Introverts (Mysteries and Miseries), the Psycho [BODY] and the Soma [SOUL]
Whereas extroverts tend toward high blood pressure, alcoholism, drug abuse, smoking and arthritis, the kinds of misery introverts are prone to could include most of the "designer diseases" which are being identified almost annually now, such as fibromyalgia, or conditions usually referred to as "psychosomatic". Like us, these conditions are more subtle.

This doesn't mean the conditions aren't real and troublesome. Many introverts I have interacted with over the years have suffered terribly from such things as agoraphobia, allergies and chronic fatigue syndrome. Because of the stress most introverts endure because they feel they have to try and be something they aren't (killer stress), we are particularly prone to systemic failures such as failures of the immune system. Chronic fatigue syndrome is a favorite condition toward which many young introverts in their late twenties and thirties are headed until they we up and realize the extreme states of exhaustion they endure if they don't give themselves time alone to recharge the batteries and if they don't quit trying to be something they are not and will never be. I hope I am putting this strongly enough.

As a healer, I learned to look at the "problem" a set of symptoms "solves" in order to trace back the origin of the condition. If you would like to learn more about this way of thinking, I recommend DreamBody: The Body's Role in Revealing the Self, a very unusual and profound book by Arnold Mindell, one of a kind. I also recommend The Challenge of Fate by Thorwald Dethlefsen which is out of print but can be purchase"used" at amazon.com on discount.

What is the problem that most of the mental and physical disabilities, conditions, even diseases that introverts are prone to is designed to solve? Space. Time alone. Alonetime as the author of Solitude coined the phrase. These common conditions give introverts more time alone. My suggestion? Let's just skip the part about getting sick in order to give ourselves permission for time alone. By the way, if you doubt what I'm saying, take some time to observe introverts in the world around you. Listen to their complaints. Categorize them. Compare and contrast them with the complaints of extroverts. This is what I have done for the past twenty five years and this section is the result of my intuitive understanding and observation.

It started because I wondered why so many people I read for had breathing problems, allergies and exhaustion. Then I realized most of the people I read for were introverts. Then I connected the dots. This is what is called intuition, sometimes (!)

Here is a recent comment from an introverts' forum at Christmastime.

FAMILIAR INTROVERT "SOLUTION" TO FAMILIAR INTROVERT DILEMMA Yeah, like spending three days over Christmas with all the inlaws! My new SIL [sister in law] is a raving extrovert and constantly doing/saying something that ticks me off. She's very intelligent, a doctor, but I don't think I've ever known anyone so shallow in my whole life. Luckily (I think) I've got the flu, so should be able to cut short some of the visiting time. We wouldn't want the elderly FIL and MIL to catch anything, now would we? SOUNDS LIKE THIS YOUNG WOMAN MIGHT HAVE READ MY INTROVERTS' FESTIVITIES SURVIVAL ARTICLE. Click here. It's about recovering the holidays for ourselves. It's wonderful to use this "flu" as an excuse, but it serious when it becomes ""real" and a way of life that takes away the fun that we do have in nature, with our pets, reading and enjoying our quiet time. Please be as conscious as possible and feel free to skip the part where you actually contract a chronic condition because you can't think of any other way out. When in doubt, always use the Little White Lie, like the woman whose sister in law is a shallow extroverted doctor. Here is an excerpt from my eBook, You Can be an Introvert and Win. You can purchase this book by visiting the bottom of this page [click here]. I am explaining the approach a young man in Alabama has taken to dealing with his family that may result in a degenerative nervous condition which will limit his enjoyment of life severely. We want him to think of a more creative solution to his problem. "An introverted spiritual young man, "Eddie" is another example of what I am talking about. "Eddie comes from one of the wealthiest families in Birmingham, Alabama. Because of the tens of millions of dollars his parents will leave him one day if he does what they want, Eddie has been forced into a family business he hates and is manipulated about his daily routine, intimate relationships and the way he raises his children. Naturally his marriage didn't survive, because she wasn't good enough for his parents! "Eddie's attendance at family functions is absolutely mandatory. There are family functions constantly. Eddie is trying to develop an avocation that means really a lot to him but it is not taken seriously by either of his parents. "Eddie suffers from nervous exhaustion and was recently diagnosed with a degenerative disease. If this condition develops, it will serve to isolate him from the rest of the family and their demands on him will cease but this is quite a price to pay." Please understand that I have the fullest sympathy for these conditions. I had many of them myself until I woke up. When I was 29, I went to the doctor and said, "I feel so awful all the time. If this is living, I'd rather be dead." He offered to give me the allergy tests where you get injected with stuff all up and down your arms. I don't know ... I think that began my life as a serious healer because in a "flash", I decided, No Way. I can heal myself. And that is what I went and did. That is what you can do. That is what we all must do. Another valuable book on this topic is You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay. I think everyone should read this book. Louise Hay cured herself of cancer. Another person who has healed her cancer is Vianna Stibal. Margaret Loris, the Sunhealer, talks about her healing techniques in this article, Transgenerational Healing. Many years later, now my health is near perfect and has been for a decade. I have a ready arsenal of Little White Lies if the person I'm dealing with can't take a hint. I have also moved to a place geographically that is far from relatives who are not sympathetic with my orientation toward life and that is not "on the way" to anywhere which discourages people from dropping in to visit for a week (San Diego). As The IntrovertZCoach, I also choose to do some educating when turning down an invitation, so I explain, "I'm an introvert and the holidays really are a bit much for me. I like quiet times later in the year." Don't miss a chance to raise consciousness for others, too, if you can. We will make it a better, easier, happier world for the introverts that come after us.

 

Introverts also get allergies and asthma. Intuitively these conditions are linked to a separation from the primal rhythms in life, which are systolic and diastolic, breathing in and breathing out, yin and yang. With asthma, the person may be taking in too much and not letting enough out. Or in children, the mother is doing that to them (SmotherMother). Let's learn more and heal ....

THE RHYTHM OF LIFE: systolic/diastolic
The rhythm of life is set for us by the tides and by our mother's heart beat, by the rhythm of our own breathing, in and out, in and out. This model is standard for all of our affairs. This is a concept that is taught to little children in Rudolf Steiner Schools, where an active event is followed by a passive event. After recess children are read to. In our own lives, an active period should be followed by a reflective period. This is difficult to do in extroverted American where it's go, go, go and get, get, get.

Another essential rhythm we looked at in Lesson Five: time together should be followed by time alone. A period of giving should be followed by a period of receiving. When schedules get crowded, when people get crowded, asthma and allergies result. Asthma is a choking or a shutting off on the receiving end of breathing. It is intuitively a sign that the person is being "choked", likely by the nurturing parent (mother) in childhood, a habit which is carried forward in adulthood through other means in intimate relationship, sometimes against the person's conscious will. The parent may be well meaning but the use of "smother" and "mother" suggests the relationship here. Some mothers, and later, some relationships, leave children gasping for air.

Allergies are a problem for introverts who are on overload. I have interacted with introverts in my counseling practice over periods as long as twenty years. Sometimes they are reluctant to admit they are introverts because of the shame attached to it in some families and some cultures. This is one of the reasons I have gone on a crusade to raise consciousness about introversion as a legitimate personality type. Even today, admitting to being an introvert can be like saying you have a social disease! Far from it! Introversion is a legitimate personality type. Someday, if we do our work, no one will be ashamed to admit they are introverted.

Introverts who don't allow themselves the prerogatives of introversion: territoriality (a room of the their own with a door that closes, even their own ball-point pen and as young as preschool, their mittens or cap), the ability to set boundaries and say NO, downtime/ alonetime -- up to half your time should be spent alone for optimal mental health -- have often developed allergies that almost seem like a phobia to life itself. They are allergic to synthetic material, cats, dogs (almost impossible ... everyone is allergic to cats to some degree but dog fur doesn't contain the same noxious ingredient), pollen, smoke, inhalants, nail polish, flour, powder, smells (perfumes), laundry detergent, food additives, preservatives, the list goes on and on and on, to the point where you begin to suspect they can't stand anything in their environment. Well, this is true in a manner of speaking.

No, they aren't making it up. They are literally crying out for a reason to have a systems failure and be given the time alone that they need for a socially acceptable reason, sometimes time alone in bed in a room with the lights out and the door closed. Indeed, they are totally overwhelmed by stimuli from the environment and doing the only thing they can think of to get relief. It is a matter of environmental stimulation overload. It is as though to ask for privacy and reflective time is so embarrassing, shameful and impossible, that they would rather take on a physical condition because our culture of extroverts immediately rewards physical symptoms with tolerance, sympathy and support. Whereas, today there is in our society, an almost universal rush of sympathy for the person who has a physical problem , there is little or no understanding for someone who has a mental or psychosomatic condition. Perhaps this is because the majority of extroverts can't relate to something "inner" or "invisible" (like allergies) without thinking it is "made up" or "just get over it". This actually increases the sense of suffering and isolation experienced by the introvert with these issues. Better to come up with something clearly physical and get the support and sympathy you need that way. But now instead of one problem, the introvert has two: an inner and an outer "condition" that now make it almost impossible to cope. The fact that the root of the problem is mental rather than physical, perhaps even psychosomatic, doesn't diminish the suffering of the introvert. The psycho in psychosomatic refers to the psyche and soma refers to the physical body. We understand as intuitive healers that these are actually two forms of the same thing. That is why they respond so readily to one another. In some sense all illness is psychosomatic, so we make no distinctions.

ALTERNATIVE HEALING IS SELF HEALING
If you identify with any of these conditions, you can heal yourself. If you are free of these symptoms and are a young person, you can guard against the tendency to come down with them by raising your awareness. If the way I'm talking is new to you, this is what alternative healing is all about. Alternative healing includes such things as acupressure, acupuncture, REIKI, homeopathy, therapeutic massage, aromatherapy, transgenerational healing and many products and services available in today's growing spa industry. If you would like support in your healing process, also consider the UNITY PRAYER TOWER, a metaphysical support in self healing. Take a few minutes to read about the Unity movement first. It is essentially nondenominational and attracts people from all points of view who want to become positive, whole, healthy and healed. Alternative healing approaches are different because they require you to take responsibility for your own health. Like the yang to the yin, they are effective on those very conditions which medical science finds the most difficult to treat, such as allergies and chronic fatigue syndrome.

Another approach to explore in alternative self healing is through the body. Visit BODY TYPES at Wholistic Health Topics Online for more information.

For another interesting look at body typing, visit HARVARD PSYCHOLOGIST JEROME KAGAN on the topic of ancient practices of body typing that seem to hold up today. Here's a quote to whet your appetite: "The ancients said these things; it goes back 2,500 years," Kagan said. "Hippocrates said there are melancholic people and there are sanguine people, and he thought they each had a special body fluid or chemistry. It turns out that that guess was pretty good." Kagan is the Daniel and Amy Starch Professor of Psychology at Harvard and for the past 20 years has studied the temperamental dispositions inherited by infants. His lecture, Galen's Prophecy: The Origins of Melancholic and Sanguine Profiles, will focus on a 10-year study of temperamental traits and brain physiology in young children. The study began with a sample of some 500 infants Kagan used to test for brain differences and how they are related to the subjects' personalities, first as infants, then as 5-year-olds and now as 10-year-olds. [Nancy's note" General introverts are considered melancholics -- go figure!]

If there are serious issues of self denial or rejecting yourself for being an introvert, conditions can worsen to become chronic and include long term depression. Depression is anger turned inward and is not to be confused with our natural tendency to withdraw into ourselves when exhausted. . If we deny ourselves our life blood, which is space and territory, it should not surprise us that we become very depressed. Life is hardly worth living if we deny ourselves our basic needs. Let's look again at our basic needs.

maslow hierarchy of needs

In the Introverts Self-Discovery Course we are going for total healing in mind, body and spirit. We are trying to get to the small end at the top of THE pyramid shown below, called the Maslow Pyramid or Hierarchy of Needs.

Learn more about Abraham Maslow and the hierarchy of needs HERE. Our goal in the Introverts' Self Discovery Course is to move from Belonging or Esteem Needs to Self-actualization. There are few people in the world functioning up in this area but if you have the time, interest and resources to take this course, chances are you are a prime candidate for self-actualization. This means becoming the authentic person that you are, separating from the "herd" and moving into areas and dynamics of living most people on the planet can only dream of.

whose problem is it, "yours" or "theirs"?

I doubt very much that Winston Churchill was anything but the most extroverted of men. Keirsey.com classifies him as the Promoter (ESTP) type of extrovert. However, he did have to overcome some difficult challenges to take his place as one of the greatest orators that ever lived. Winston Churchill lisped. He handcrafted and practiced his speeches in front of a mirror for hours before making his presentations. What seemed like spontaneous expressions were actually carefully rehearsed"acts". I have listened to many tapes of him delivering famous speeches, and I can't hear a lisp, but his biographers insist it is there. Churchill's desire was very strong. His will power was a great part of his motivation and success in overcoming this problem.

In a discussion of overcoming challenges, we are going to speak about them in these terms. If it's a problem to someone else, it's not necessarily a problem. Please be very clear about that. Because someone else thinks you should be the life of the party doesn't mean it's a problem to you. If, however, it's something you identify as a problem and genuinely want to overcome, we believe where there's a will, there's way. If you identify it as a problem, like Winston Churchill's lisp when he wanted to deliver speeches in Parliament, then let's see what we can do about it.

Some introverts feel held back by their inability to speak in public. Not all introverts, because many feel comfortable speaking in a group or behind a microphone. It doesn't seem as exhausting as one-on-one and certainly not as exhausting as small talk. But if you are uncomfortable speaking before a group and feel this should be in your future, it won't take much to improve to the point that you can do it if you must. (We're not talking about Tony Robbins here.) Take a course such as this one, called COMMUNICATING FOR SUCCESS - Winston Churchill was recently voted the greatest British man of all time.

Other issues that can plague introverts who want to have full self development are fear of rejection and feelings of undue self consciousness. There are many seminars and workshops available to help us with these issues. All it takes is desire. Remember, we're not trying to become extroverts, we just want to make our lives more productive and bearable by improving a bit in these areas. Marjorie was an introvert I worked with for many years. Marjorie found substantial success working behind the scenes in large accounting firms as an administrator. She told me early in her career she had decided that her fear of rejection was holding her back. She took a series of jobs to "cure herself" of this, jobs where she would be rejected over and over again so she could build up her immunity. One of these jobs was phone solicitation. She says rejection still isn't her favorite thing but she did build up some tolerance for it.

Please take the survey.

As with all lessons, I hope this section will provoke some original thought in you. As a Healer, I am committed to seeing each person as whole, healed and happy. If this information doesn't strike a chord today, perhaps someday it will come in handy.

travel

Let's warm with a few quotes about our favorite topic, shall we?

The man who goes alone can start today, but he who travels with another must wait till that other is ready.
--Henry David Thoreau

The world is a book, and those who do not travel read only a page.
--Augustine (354-430)

I am one of those who never knows the direction of my journey until I have almost arrived.
--Anna Louise Strong

I love to travel, but hate to arrive.
--Albert Einstein

If you actually look like your passport photo, you aren't well enough to travel. (haha)
--Sir Vivian Fuchs

There is one area of life that is so special to introverts, we might as well claim it as our very own and that is travel. Travel, from the time-honored (and genuine) "transatlantic crossing" to clear the mind -- I am not referring to party ships which are a horror for us -- to am exploration of an Alaska glacier or the species in Tierra del Fuego ... this kind of travel has always been the special province of the introvert. I am excerpting from my eBook on Travel Tips for Introverts to provide you with this list of travel do's and don'ts"

 

EXCERPTED FROM THE SOLITARY TRAVELER: TRAVEL TIPS FOR INTROVERTS Nancy's Travel Rules for Introverts PLEASE DON'T 1. Don't sign up for trips with groups so small you will be noticed! In a group of 20 or more, you can get lost. 2. Pay for a room of your own. No complaining. It's worth it. 3. Come up with a scheduled activity that takes you away from the group at regular intervals, such as walking after dinner or jogging in the morning. 4. Cultivate the little white lie to a fine art. 5. Make up special dietary conditions that take you to different restaurants than the extroverts in the group. 6. Look into travel that permits your pet to accompany you. 7. Share your trip best by bringing home photos and mementos not by taking the person along with you! 8. Deal realistically with the demands of those back home for check-in times and points but rely heavily on the excuse that local phones, etc., don't do well. I have informed my daughter that if she doesn't hear from me at all, things are going well! She's quite used to this by now. 9. If you're signing up for a tour, take a slow one. Rushing is bad for the Introvert Soul. Nancy's Vote for Favorite Introvert Travel Activities PLEASE DO 1. Journeying, enjoying the trip and not being focused on the destination or a timetable 2. People watching 3. Dining alone 4. Getting off the beaten path 5. Leisurely driving without a goal ("journeying") 6. Journaling each night or writing letters home 7. Appreciating the signs and symbols of the trip as well as the realities 8. Pretending you are a native of the foreign country you're visiting so as to avoid obnoxious questions from extroverted American tourists also visiting the country! 9. Enjoying nature, flowers, fountains and parks. Some of my most cherished moments in Vienna were the beautiful parks that were hundreds of years old. I especially enjoyed the Alpine Gardens of Schloss Belvedere and the botanical gardens of the University, which were right next to the school I attended. 10. Making emotional relevancies of the trip: connecting this trip with reminiscences, heritage stories from childhood, favorite scenes from movies, remembrances of poetry and great books that mention the same, etc. 11. Awareness that you're storing beautiful memories and vivid emotions to recall later in quiet moments 12. Presenting the fruits of your travel. Your travelogues, unlike those of the Extrovert, are likely to be delightful and enchanting, so send them around. Consider making a special book to present to your close friend(s), a video or other form of presentation lending grace and beauty to your reminiscences. It will add much to the lives of those around you. Introverts are very reluctant to do this but it is meaningful. The Solitary Traveler: Travel Tips for Introverts TO ORDER YOUR COPY OF TRAVEL TIPS FOR INTROVERTS, CLICK THE BOOK COVER. It's just $10.95.

 

For more enrichment materials on TRAVEL CLICK HERE for the SUPPLEMENT to Lesson Six. Don't miss a look at this page. You may not be interested in everything on it, but it's part of the course.

pets

Pets are another very special part of the lives of many introverts. Pets can be the perfect companions for us. This is because they are quiet, like us. There is NO small talk (!) They don't own cell phones. They won't bust in the room if the door's closed. And they love to do so many things we do ... be outdoors, take walks, snuggle by the fire, curl up with us while we read a good book. They even go to bed at the same time we do and get the house quiet For more information about pets and the special part they play in our lives, CLICK HERE.

Please take the survey when you get back!

Name

email

Do you have a pet now? yes no If so, what kind? Did you have a pet as a child? yes no If so, what kind? Please comment on your relationship(s) with your pet(s) if you like.

CLICK HERE for the SUPPLEMENT to Lesson Six. Don't miss a look at this page. You may not be interested in everything on it, but it's part of the course.

real life

This week as the course comes to a close, please make an assessment of where you are with your introversion. How much of your time would you say you are (still) spending trying to be an extrovert? Are you doing this from internal or external pressure? If external, where is the external pressure coming from? Are you learning to take more of an active interest in developing your introvert strengths now than when you started the course? Are you clear about the characteristics of introverts and why we are the way we are?

  Continue your learning by picking out of these eBooks from the Online Library for Introverts or why not get all six! You can purchase each of these eBooks for $10.95. Please click through to the website page which will include a direct link to paypal.

• FINDING YOUR INSIDE OUTSIDE: Dating Tips for Introverts
  
  
• YOU CAN BE AN INTROVERT AND WIN: The Introductory Book for Introverts
  
  
  
• THE SOLITARY TRAVELER: Travel Tips for Introverts
  
  
• NETWORKING FOR PEOPLE WHO DON'T LIKE TO: Networking Tips for Introverts
  
  
  
• INTROVERTS! YOUR MENTAL HEALTH IS YOUR PHYSICAL HEALTH: Health Tips for Introverts
  
  
  
• YOUR INTROVERTED KID CAN WIN : Tips for Raising Introverted Children

  You can take the extended ONLINE COURSE on RELATIONSHIPS AND DATING. Please ask for more information.

  You can take the extended ONLINE COURSE on CREATING A PERSONA PERSONALITY (Don't leave home without it!) Please ask for more information.

  How is your health? Could it be better? Do you understand some of the building blocks of good health for introverts?

probably at least half your time should be spent alone for maximum good health

time in nature is very healing for some of the eight different types of introverts

get people to respect your personal privacy and territory

don't try to be an extrovert

  

Of additional interest, read Dennis Gabor's Acceptance Speech for the 1971 Nobel Prize in Physics and what he has to say about introverts in general and in particular Alfred Nobel, originator of the Nobel Prizes. Just to whet your appetite ...

Alfred Nobel was of a type not at all rare among great introverts; he did not like people, but he loved humanity, for which he felt a deep responsibility.

CLICK HERE for the SUPPLEMENT to Lesson Six. Don't miss a look at this page. You may not be interested in everything on it, but it's part of the course.

     For enrichment information, please feel free to visit www.theintrovertzcoach.com.