Hello Dave
I am an INFJ suffering from low self esteem. I've been a programmer for a
corporation now for about 12 years and have recently learned that it's a bad
fit for me. It's nice to know that I don't have to be so detailed and it's
okay to not be so detailed all the time. Work has slowed down a lot this
past year and we aren't very busy and it seems that i have taken alot of the"grunt" work. I'm good a what I do and there are no conflicts at work, just
boredom. This is not good for my confidence. I'd like to make a career
change, but because my self esteem is low I'm having problems deciding what
to do next. I need to get out of the job that's not helping my mental state,
but my mental state is keeping me trapped. I'm not trusting my intuition and
feelings like I used to and have become very analytical.
I wonder if I'm hurting myself by staying instead of leaving the company to
figure this out.
Are there any thinking processes that I could change to help build myself
up?
Also, are you aware of any INFJ's who are in technical fields that I could
consider transitioning into or do I need to start all over?
Thanks so much-so glad to know that there are people like me out there!!
~ LP
HERE'S DAVID'S ANSWER:
Hi,
I am not sure exactly how I can help you. Low self-esteem is not relative
to MBTI type and I am not a psychologist. By nature, INFJ's and INTJ's tend
to be very self-assured and confident in their abilities. This is not the
same thing as self-esteem, however.
Boredom is another issue. This one is probably related to being an
Intuitive. Intuitives generally need room to broaden their horizons.
Routine and lack of opportunity drives me absolutely crazy. For an
Intuitive, a situation like you are facing is very stressful. Stress can
lead to developing a shadow self - that means that you take on the negative
characteristics associated with your opposite type (in this case ESTP).
I have faced times in my own life when I am unsure whether to trust my
feelings or my thinking sides. For many INFJ's, these two function may
almost be equal in development. They definitely are in my case, for example, because I am technically educated (I have a masters degree in civil
engineering). Unfortunately, I don't know you well enough to tell you how
to handle this problem. You might be like me. You might be like other
INFJ's that have a less-developed thinking function.
INFJ's can work in technical fields. I used to work as a civil engineer in
a high tech government program developing traffic management systems,
vehicle navigation systems, etc. The only difference between myself and the
INTJ/INTP engineers was that I was often more interested in the human
application rather than the technology itself. What did me in finally was
fighting the bureaucracy, where I just didn't fit in with all the ESTJ types
that permeate government.
I would suggest that you see a counselor about your self-esteem issue first.
As far as you job is concerned, you probably should try to step back and
look at it rationally. INFJ's are usually able to do this without too much
trouble. Then, I would trust my gut feeling because as an Intuitive, you
probably already know the right answer - you just need to come to terms with
your feeling side to accept it.
I hope this helps. Good luck. I will pray for you. Stay in touch.
David
LP's REPLY:
Thanks so much. You are a kind understanding person and you know your stuff!
I talked to a career counselor a few months back who has since retired, she
said I should seek out some counseling to determine why my self esteem is
low and why I'm indecisive, before I make a big career change. I'm very
stressed and think my normal functions are probably out of whack.
You've really got me thinking about the battle between feelings and
thinking. The job pays very well and is secure and staying is logical, but
leaving and doing something different would feel so great! I'm definitely
struggling here. Like you , I feel I'm also very different than the
corporate people I work with.
Thanks again-I'll let you know how it turns out!
