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EUNICE LEE'S STORY
EUNICE begins her story like this.
I don’t think I became a “comfortable introvert” until a few years ago. Growing up, I always wondered why, amongst a group of girls at a slumber party, I would be the one drifting off in the corner, doodling with markers and playing songs at the piano. I felt energized in my solitude, and impatient with small talk. It wasn’t that I didn’t like people, but then again, I didn’t like loud people and people who needed me to talk in order to have a “good time”. I enjoyed being in a room, observing people, or listening to what was going on, getting to know everyone pretty well, even before they knew my name. It’s amazing how much you can know about a person just from hearing and watching them be.
However, of course this made me feel different, as we all know that we live in a highly extroverted society. Some people were fine with me and were okay with not knowing me well. Others weren’t fine with my peculiarity, in their eyes, and felt it was cool to ostracize me. And of course, there were those very few who really stopped to listen and wait for me to open that doorway into my soul. Those very few have been lifelong friends, and I pride myself upon this aspect of being an introvert. Our relationships tend to be truer, deeper, and more meaningful. Since we don't talk much, when we do, it's usually pretty meaningful. And, ironically, we can talk like the biggest extrovert when we're with that one best friend. We have “chums”, not just friends or acquaintances who come and go, especially during the winter seasons of our life. Our chums stick around when we go through hell and back and once more. They are also there to share those funny and joyful moments of our lives with.
So, when and how did I become a “comfortable introvert”, you may ask? I’ll tell you that taking the Myers Briggs personality test in college was a definite starting point. Reading the surprisingly accurate description of the “INFP,” one type of introvert, really helped me understand myself better and know there are others like me out there. I don’t believe that the “INFP” dreamer, healer, idealist description defines who I am in entirety, but serves as a starting point. It provides a general outline with the details left out. The details are what make one INFP unique from another.
When I learned that personality is generally unchangeable and you are who you are to a good extent from birth, I learned to let go and just be myself. This didn’t happen overnight, as I will admit to going through phases being an “extroverted cheerleader”, for example, trying to morph into something I could never become, nor do I want to now. Surprisingly, I did a good job at it. Nevertheless, it sucked. I knew I was lying to myself and nobody knew but me. Sometime in the whole college experience, I decided to stop trying to fit into the extroverted world and just start being me, nurturing my passions and finding those corner seats at the bookstores and coffeehouses I sought refuge in. Boy was that freeing! There came a turning point where I stopped allowing people to convince me that going to another party of obnoxious drunks, surrounded by people who brought cakes, not to eat, but to wear on their faces under yet another layer of artificial skin, was an idea of a good time. Was this “living it up” in my young years? If it was, I was having a premature midlife crisis in my early twenties and needed change. And fast.
How I’ve learned to cope and not just deal with being an introvert but truly LOVE it is to fill my life up with those things that fulfill an introvert. It’s the little things in life that bring us joy. Forget what others tell you a good time is and make your own definition. Then start living it. Read a good book, feed some ducks at the park, play the piano, plant a tree, take guitar lessons, go to a concert, enroll in a pottery or yoga class, bake cookies, journal, cuddle up with a blanket and watch your favorite show, stay home and daydream, …whatever it is, just do it and stop thinking that you’re missing out. And if you realized it’s been several days before you’ve seen another human being, go out and connect again by going to the bookstore or that favorite restaurant and engaging in those charming conversations you’re so good at when you want to be. After all, all those days you allowed yourself to recharge may have finally given you the energy to exert it outwardly.
I came across a quote that I needed to share with all you introverts out there. I think it’s so dead on.
"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." ~ Dr. Seuss
And on a last note, if you believe there is a creator of the universe, we were designed to be introverts, just the way we are, with all our quirks and idiosyncrasies. We should delight in them, because when we aren’t ourselves, we fail to fulfill our piece in the big puzzle called the universe. The world needs us, even if we are not always the front-runners and like to hang around backstage.
