Famous INFJ

Read what Nancy's INFJ readers say about themselves and how they have learned to cope.

Sarah

I'm 31 and have recently discovered that I am an INFJ. Oh my God-today I feel like I've had a breakthrough! I'm not NUTS! LOL!

I am the stereotypical INFJ. I'm an artist, have been since birth practically, I draw, paint, photograph religiously, I'm finishing up my BFA finally with a double major in Photography and Drawing. I feel like I've fought so hard to live up to other people's expectations, esp. my parents. (It never worked) I love and cherish my alone time, I read constantly, not just for school, I am just a fanatical learner. I have a small group of close friends and that's it. I married an ESTJ, and I think we've been a great match so far...I've never felt like the popular one, never fit in, in some ways, never wanted to.
(Even in the art dept, I don't fit in. They dress like they went to Goodwill, I dress… normal!)

I've always felt like the outsider looking in, I hate crowds and loud people...I would rather sit at home on the weekend and paint, or work on the computer, or redecorate my house. Someone mentioned having coffee with friends, and that sounds like the perfect outing to me. I am always thinking about the future, and sometimes that’s the only thing that gets me through the present. I chuckle when I read about having a strong sense of justice, because nothing gets me angrier in this world than to see someone get wronged.

I have had many disappointments with friends that have shaken me to my core. Two instances come to mind where I was taken advantage of and betrayed and I ended up depressed and in counseling. Now, I feel like I’m so wary of people, because I never want to go through that again (and it hasn’t) I struggle with classes because of the crowds of people; I have 3 classes online right now and love it.

It is SO great to know I’m not as alone as I’ve always felt, I just wish I knew another INFJ or two.

11.12.2007

age 16

I think I've been an INFJ all of my life... as a child I have always been described as extremely reserved, but at the maturity level of a teen or young adult. I am incredibly intuitive about people and tend to see things from the big picture.

I had a nice but occasionally awkward childhood as I struggled to be outgoing and fit in with my peers. Classmates, although I could read them like a book and understood the reasons for their perks, annoyed me frequently, but I was kind to everyone and never stirred up any trouble for fear of conflict. I was not "popular" throughout elementary or middle school simply because I was very choosy with whom I made friends with, and I understood people's faults too quickly, negating my chances of getting to know them as a friend. I had friends from all social cliques, although in very few relationships was I able to show the deeper side of my seemingly complacent, laid-back personality.

As a current high school student, I have achieved balance in my life by making an effort to give people second chances (although I am usually right when I make an assumption about someone) and also by going out of my comfort zone to meet new people. I read How to Win Friends and Influence People, and it had helped me immeasurably in getting to know people. I have gotten over any insecurities and understand that in the big picture, high school is extremely irrelevant to the real world. I have lots of friends from all over the social hierarchy, but only my closest friends and family really know me. I also use my passion for singing and writing as a respite from any conflicts that may be stressing me out. Sometimes I'll skip a social event just to simply stay at home and reflect on the world, sing, or write in a journal... it's helped me figure out a lot about myself and my goals as a human being

6.06.2007 Nora, age 21

I study English and Psych in college and a couple years back, I took a class in Chaucer. Being an English major (and an infj), I’ve always been good at interpreting texts and finding the symbolism behind it…but Chaucer was hell. He intrigued me too much. He made my head spin. All the characters in Canterbury Tales and geniously constructed with so many layers. I detected most of these layers and, therefore, could not interpret the characters accurately. I admire Geoffrey Chaucer’s ability to document the multi-faceted personalities of others, something all of us [INFJs] know very well.

I took my first personality test at the age of 14. I tested as INFJ. My teacher at the time, who is still a good friend and with whom I’ve always shared a strange bond, asked if anyone got INFJ. I was the only one in the class and he, too, admitted to being one Since that initial test, I’ve taken 3 or 4 others and in all, I tested INFJ.

It’s a spooky way to live, isn’t it? I’ve always been extra sensitive. Anyone else have night terrors as a kid? Also, does anyone else think that being so intuitive is a blessing and a curse? Yes, you can sense how people feel and act accordingly. But what about the people who you know don’t like you or have insincere intentions? I really think in some cases ignorance is bliss and most of us have never had that luxury.

The older I get, the more keen my ability to read others becomes. However, this poses as a problem at times because I just quickly with first impressions. The way someone says “hello” or smirks continuously…it’s something that has kept me away from a lot of people, especially guys who seem to have insincere intentions.

I’ve learned to cope with humor. And by the way, why is it called “coping” on this message board? We make up 1% of the population. We’re unique! But I have a very dry sense of humor and use my understanding of people to my advantage in this way. It helps.

6.03.2007 Heather, age 37, email

Like many on here, I have found life to be difficult. I thought there was something wrong with me during my childhood because I was so quiet and withdrawn. Over the years I have to come to appreciate my ability to be content by myself and feel it is okay to stay home on a Staurday night to read a good book. I find that I am like many of you, highly sensitive to others and their feelings. Some days are still hard though, living in this extroverted world and trying to find a way to live and cope within it. It is great to read others comments and know that I am not alone or so different from everyone else.

6.1.2007 Anonymous female age 30

Everyone’s comments resonate with me–it’s nice to know that other people like me actually exist in the world because more often than not it doesn’t feel possible. People never know what to do with me and they always seem perplexed by me. It’s so easy for me to figure them out though. So it’s like looking at the world through a panel of one-way glass. How isolating!

On top of that we INFJs feel so much all of the time so it’s no wonder we have such a rough time in our lives! I’ve always known and noticed that I feel a lot more than everybody else. Extroverts are like aliens to me. I always look at them curiously. What in the world goes on in their heads? Anything? Or are they just busy making plans and chit chatting all the time to notice anything?

It’s frightening to me that those are the people that basically run the world, so I guess it’s no surprise that there is so much disparity in it and so many problems. I’m serving in the Peace Corps right now in Africa as a teacher (I suppose I’m a fairly textbook INFJ) so I see this stuff everyday.

The first time I took this personality test, I was in my teens searching to understand myself since, like all of you, I have always known I was different and have tested consistently as INFJ ever since. I think our type is incredibly special and I’m glad that there are people like us in the world but at the same time, I’m worried about us. Are we doomed to lead these isolated, lonely existences where we spend our lives feeling for others, watering their gardens, but at the end of the day, we are left alone, forgotten in the corner because no one knows what to do with us?

5.01.2007 Anonymous, age 32

I've really enjoyed reading all these comments. It feels good knowing there are others like me. Our similar feelings and experiences are amazing. I';m currently reading "The Law of Attraction," and I recommend it to my fellow INFJs. We're sensitive, imaginitive, and well-meaning, and anything we can do to improve our personal powers is important for us and others.

4.14.2007 Andi, age 32

I have always felt like an outsider looking in on the world. Since I moved around growing up, I thought that it was just because I was always the new kid. Reading everyone else’s comments, I am beginning to see that it just the curse of the infj. My parents (or siblings) never understood me and really felt a level of disdain for me. They thought of me as snotty and ridiculed me by calling me “her highness”.

It has taken me a lot of years to become comfortable being different than the rest of the world. Self acceptance was a bit difficult because of a complete lack of emotional support from family and no social system due to repeated cross-country moves. It was devastating to be soooo sensitive and then have a family who ridiculed and no other emotional support.

Over time, and with a wonderful husband, I have healed and become comfortable with who I am. I have made a dear friend who is very extroverted but I make a very good counselor for her. :)

It’s an interesting life being an infj. I give a lot of myself to the point of being run down and then retreat to recharge to the confusion of many. I am notorious for not answering the phone.

Sometimes, when I’m depleted, I can’t bear answering the phone. Conversation is too draining.

I really enjoyed reading all of the other posts here. I can relate to most of them. It nice to know I am not alone.

6.23.2006 Anonymous, age 25

do test as an INFJ, though I do feel funny about labeling myself as such. In fact, I feel funny about identifying strongly with anything, but I'll get over it for this post.

I’m almost twenty-five and am only now beginning to figure out what kind of person I really am. I think it has been partially luck and partially knowing the right environment that I have been able to find deep and fulfilling relationships. They have all been people I’ve met in school or college, which may be part of the reason I am terrified of leaving that environment, and probably never will.

And, just as an aside, my closest relationships, be they friendly or romantic, have been with INFP’s and INTJ’s.

I have never actually been close to anyone who is very extraverted, I’ve always found them curious and exhausting, as many others here have stated. I don’t know if I can identify with psychic ability, or even taking other peoples emotions as my own; however, I am very sensitive others’ emotions and am quite good at knowing how they are really feeling. I am also quite prone to crying, even at things that aren’t necessarily sad.

For example, I feel a wave emotion come over me when people on this blog say things like “we (INFJ’s) are very special people.” Nearly all my life I have been quiet, and I’ve only gotten quieter as I’ve gotten older. This has led to some pretty hard and depressing times for me, however. Though I said I have had close relationships, they have still been few and far between. It is only recently that I have started to become really comfortable with who I am and being completely alone. Paradoxically, being alone when you have people in your life is easy, but being alone when you have no one can be very hard and frightening. I think this is partially because we live in a mainly extraverted society which places great value on being with people, making a person who is alone most of the time feel inadequate, broken, and frankly like there is something wrong with them. In my hardest times, however, I began to gravitate towards philosophy, religion, karate (for the discipline involved) and nature, all of which take precedence in my life and are what I find most fulfilling.

These over the years have replaced drugs and alcohol which I used mostly as social lubricants, but in the end only made me sad and depressed. Don’t get me wrong, I love being with the people I am close to because those are the one’s I don’t feel completely stifled around and can pretty much “let loose” with (though never entirely). Lately I’ve been reading about INFJ’s and discovered a curious aspect of myself in one description.

That is my tendency to completely shut people out, even those that I’m close to, especially when I become hurt or agitated. I truly give people the silent treatment and the more they try to open me up the more silent I get, not even making eye contact with them. But that happens rarely. Anway, I still question whether there is really anyone like me out there, but if it happens INFJ’s are really alike then, perhaps, this post helps or at least entertains. Hope you don’t mind the monolithic paragraph, for some reason I like it.

6.04.2006 Tara, age 32

I identify with Gandhi. I first learned about him from reading the autobiography of Martin Luther King, Jr. I recall he believed in non-violent protest and was a spiritual leader for India. I have often been quite spiritual and often feel like I need to protect those who are unfairly treated.

Well, actually I just found out recently that I was an INFJ/P. In grad school I took the MBTI and tested as a ISTJ. As a child, I was teased quite a bit by extended family and friends because I was so "shy". I was also quite a sensitive child and even then I was keenly aware of the emotional energy in the room. I have been told repeatedly to "don't be so quiet" and "spit it out." It has been an emotional burden to me and consiously or unconsiously I didn't feel "safe" to be my real self.

I always thought I was weird because I didn't like to attend the usual teenage activities like football games, high school dances, etc. I have always been goal driven though probably because I wanted to "prove" to all those people who scorned me for being "shy" that I could do great things.

Running and playing the piano were two ways I coped with all the strong emotions and feelings I had that build up inside of me. I haven't always been able to rely on these coping mechanisms and when I did my internship I think I had an emotional crisis. That's when I started looking for reasons I wasn't able to manage all the stress and expectations of my preceptors (worked 40 hours a week at the internship plus 12 additional hours in the evenings at a part-time job). I definitely wasn't getting the solitude or sleep introverts need to re-energize.

I have always felt misunderstood and finding friends who understand my needs has always been a challenge. I realize that I want to help others and sometimes I feel "used" because I am so willing to listen but when I have something to deal with I often am not supported or get a blank stare.

I identify with a lot of comments that have been posted. What a relief to know I am not alone! Thank you so much for this website where we can learn about our unique personalities and be supported by other introverted comrades.

5.18.2006 Jonathan, age 27, email

Being an INFJ is like being a fine wine; we only grow better with age. I had a difficult childhood. Like many of you, I suspect, I was sensitive and quiet. All the other children (especially boys) were loud and seemingly insensitive. From a very young age I realized I didn’t fit in. But I tried. I desperately wanted to be just one of the boys, so to speak. I wanted to be talkative, to laugh a lot, to be the center of attention and to act, seemingly, without inhibition. But I could never be that person. I was always quiet and withdrawn; happy to spend hours in my bedroom, alone. As I grew older, into middle school and high school, I developed a core group of very close friends, and yet I never became the ‘typical’ kid I always wanted to be. (Although looking back, I realize I was able to mask a lot of my personality traits by sheer willpower -- something I regret now).

But as I grew older, especially after college, I became more comfortable in my skin. It no longer mattered that I wanted to spend Friday nights alone, reading a book or watching a movie. No one would think it (or I) weird. I could finally surround myself with my few close friends, and keep everyone else at a distance.

And like many of you, I have always had an uncanny power to intuit. I know exactly what a close friend or family member is thinking the moment I see them. Often before they do. I see people on the street and can feel their energy. Sometime I see someone and see complete evilness; other times I see innocence. But I always have a feeling. It’s usually right. I’ve tried explaining this to others but they don’t really understand. And I’m amazed they don’t. It’s so clear!, I want to shout at them. The clues are everywhere! Simple mannerisms, voice inflection -- they’re all clues. But it’s more than that, too. It’s just a feeling. (Although I’ve never been adept, as others are, at predicting future events).

I chose to become a lawyer. It was a good decision in that I spend many hours by myself, pouring over books and documents, focused and analytical, writing. But at the same time, it’s bad because I’m not serving anyone other than wealthy corporations. At the end of the day I feel like a lawyer-whore; I haven’t served someone who really needs me. This prevents me from truly enjoying my job. And makes me feel guilty.

For the young people out there I have this advice: wait! It will get better! Someday your quiet and sensitive ways will be appreciated. This is especially true for guys, who are viewed as weak when they are not boisterous and constantly seeking the center of attention. Simply stay true to who you are, what makes you happy, and enjoy your few close friends. Our intuition is a gift from God; so learn to enjoy it.

5.09.2006 Alex Chapman, age 50, email

Jung is one of my archetypes. I identify with him because he discovered so much of the ways in which people are human and then passed on his knowledge. The world would be a poorer place if he had not existed. He alo showed people the path to a mysticall life. The other person that I identify strongly with is Gandhi because he showed that you can acheive enormous things without the battle being a zero-sum game (that is in order for someone to win, the other must lose)

Until I knew that I was an infj, life was a very hard thing to survive. I pick up other people's emotions like blotting paper, but the trouble is that I then felt their emotions internally as if they were mine (and that left no room for my feelings). Once I learnt that this was what was happening ( when I was about 40) I was able to separate out and distance my self enough from other people feelings to have some space. That has given me much more peace.

3.18.2006, Shawn Williams, age 40, email

identify with Jung in that I have dealings in the spiritual realm and have learned to master it. What others call schizophrenia I call the ability to interphase between the physical and spirit planes. As a Christian I have complete control over the spirit plane and I am not burdened, oppressed, or miserable about what the medical profession calls schizophrenia. I think that after studying me, they may have to redefine some things and perhaps the way I deal with it could be taught to others so that they can also take authority on the spirit plane even easier that they do on the physical. It really is easy, and you can do it without taking a lot of drugs. Jung embraced his spiritual abilities and so do I. I have done a lot of good on the spirit plane, that no one else could have done, and I have helped people on the spirit plane that had healing manifestions in the physical. We really need to stop thinking of non drug induced schizophrenia as a mental disorder and see it as a gift. We are able to operate with authority in the real/spirit world and have major effects in the physical. It's so cool.

I always wondered why I found it easy to understand any and everything under the sun while others struggled with learning. I also wondered why I was so ultra spiritual. All of this from my earliest memories. Then I learned about the INFJ personality type and everything made sense. I am oh so grateful for my heredity as I feel better equiped for true greatness. To me greatness means having made a positive and lasting impact. Surely of all the types we are the most willing and able to take a stand for what is right and help those that others will not. I will spend my entire life to that end.

2.08.2006 Pedro Pablo, age 32, email

I can read many opinions on how difficult is to live as an infj -I am almost sure I am infj, but there is always a possibility to be wrong-...
I remember when I was a child, when it was really difficult to be so introverted and feeler. I felt hurt many times, and I was not able to face things... But it is not so difficult to learn to live as an infj: the key point is: don't let pessimism to catch you, be optimistic and look for the funny things, laugth about yourself as loud as if other would do in public then you will suicide...

You have an enormous potential to find what is really important, and lot of passion to work for it, but if you let that little things catch all your attention, putting all that effort in them will make you blow up!!

Other ways to make your life easier is not to let your introvert side be so dominant in your relationships with others. The good part of our introverted side is the way that it allows us to browse our internals. But it is not "designed" to keep us apart form people or partys: we have to use our extroverted functions to gather information, experiences and views from others that later we can analyze in our internal world to come out with new bright ideas!!!

So, yes, I think the best way to live as an infj is to live as a funny infj. Just looking inside myself, I feel panic about what my sad side could do it it would take control...

1.31.2006 Catherine, 50ish, email

'm not your typical infj. I have no burning need to counsel people nor be a social activist nor do anything (careerwise) that requires direct interaction with people. I'm quite a loner---for a number of reasons.

So much MBTI info says that infj's are so empathic/intuitive...that we can pick up on what others are feeling and sometimes even their motivations. Well,it is true. Sometimes it is almost as if I can see through people. Is anyone else out there like this?

I don't like being around most people for that reason. What I "sense"or pick-up about various persons can be a bit off-putting at times! My gut intuitions about people are usually correct and that can be a good thing or a drawback. It's situational.

Also, I hate reading literature i.e. fiction! Give me a good book about history, sociology,anthropology, plate tectonics, or genetics any day.

Coping? Have I learned to cope? I have a great sense of humor and love to make people laugh (I am easily amused, so why not amuse others as well?) Other than that, my coping skills need work. Seclusion is a coping skill--I need lots of "down-time" to recharge my physical and emotional batteries. It is hard being so sensitive and intense. Other people don't understand it. I grew up with an Entp dad and a mom and 2 sisters who were all rip-roaring SJ's! Sometimes I think I could be an intj, because I love learning so much...because I am so analytical/speculative/theoretical in my approach to life. Never the less, I usually test-out as infj. Go figure. It seems that life would be so much simpler to be one of the "majority": Es_j or Es_p. On the other hand, N's are wonderfully imaginative--I think we have a childlike joi-de-vivre that other types may lack.

1.20.2006 Max, age 29, email

believe life is truly difficult for INFjs...which- metaphysically- maybe why we are so rare (actually 1%). I have been madly studying the Jung Personality temperaments for two and a half years now. Our INFj personality is both a blessing (in its rarity) and a curse. I am extremely sensitive to the "eyes" of others.

It is these intense innate FEELINGS and EMOTIONS we have to live with in a logical, rational, concrete world of rules and facts that make life a burden. I believe the INFj and INFp personality types are of the unhappiest, because of our intense idealism and since we possess such clarity to "see" and feel all the good and treachery and corruption within humanity.

ESTps are the most content in life since they are so action oriented, adventurous and oblivious to the inside world of second sight (iNtuition), emotion and sensitivity (Feeling), and the rigid desire for order and closure (Judging).

I think INFjs feel as if imprisoned in life. It is extremely difficult to live amongst these humans and to not be ACCEPTED. I reach out and they turn away. Some days I feel like an alien and think this life was not made for me...It is the extreme solitude and isolation in this world and my plaguing, encompassing thoughts I wish to escape. I am in tune and know myself so deeply that is seems as if people are intimidated by me.

Rejection seems to be a stab-in-the-heart amongst INFjs, as it honestly sometimes makes me want to leave this world. We INFjs retreat inward...away from others because we cannot bear to face our own iNtuition! It is painful to view others' reactions and the rejection stings. I long for relationships and friends, and I often blame people, but the problem is my INFj sensitivity and perceptibility. These humans are absorbed in the superficial, shallow world of materialism and media prosperity. I do not have much in common with people and the INFjs natural partner, ENTp or ENFp, is 2% and 3% of the population. It is Extroverted iNtuitives who can "save" us...by drawing us out with their energy and insight. However, it is myself I wish to flee...this accursed personality. Here is a quote by an unknown author, “Sometimes suicide isn't just an action, it's a choice in the back of the mind to save themselves from themselves.”

1.12.2006 Kristen, age 62

Like the rest of you, I too am a misunderstood genius. To be brilliant, and to have such a great capacity for feeling and creativity is tremendous, but also a hard burden to bear. We infjs are the noble few, and can only pity those who don't experience life the way we do. And we do pity them, we have such empathy for them, and care about their less meaningful plights in life. That's part of our responsibility to mankind.

1.06.2006 age 22

i have to say being a INFJ is not easy. I always have family and friends tell me your so different. Or as my ex said why are you not like other girls. They just sometimes dont understand us. Sometimes you feel like u are an alien from outer space. When i took the personality test i was like everthing they said about me is all true. Especially the part about being able to tell if somethings wrong or like i have had dreams and they came true. Like for example i dreamed a plane was going to fall, then the next day i hear a plane fell and people died, but sometimes not all my dreams come true, only some and once in a while.

12.21.2005

im an infj studying william blake. i dont like to analyse peoples personality types because i know im not qualified to, especially not of people i didnt know. but william blake stands out to me as being quite clearly and infp. just thought id comment on that.

6.06.2006 Ben, age 33, arnold_benj@hotmail.com

What's it like to be an INFJ? What can I say, the intuition has always been there (clocked at 75%) but the trust in this seemingly "knowing without knowing" was NOT. I started off life raised in the perfect INFJ setting with a supportive family but unfortunately that dissolved and after that it was a very rough ride. I think that the idealism in me was ever stronger and hence, ever the more shattered when my safe haven dissolved into hardship, confusion and pettiness.

You see I'm convinced that there ARE ideal and very functional settings for INFJs but they are as rare as the type itself. Therefore they must be thought out, cultivated, nurtured and protected….a tall order in this world.

I was an extremely senstive boy (and am still a very sensitive man) who somehow managed to avoid any fights in all of his life. Funny enough, I was not picked on any more than anyone else, in fact I would say I was picked on very rarely. I attribute this to one part caution, one part genuine apall for violence, and finally one part that I would probably go all out on ya if you really did mess with me. Oh and there's luck too!

Overall I grew up detesting school. Like most here I was extremely imaginative and had a very rich inner world. I know I still have it in me but it was in school that the wearing and tearing and grinding down of a young man's imagination began. It was in school where I began to feel much less a human being – in fact a very stupid one. I was placed in many "special" classes, often with kids who I could never relate to. You're probably not surprised that I found some of these kids to be unusually…..slow…..but then…I guess that's what they thought of me at the time, too.

Of course, Jr. High and High School were terrible, no matter what. I just didn't get along with "kids" – and yet meanwhile I felt like I was taking care of my "adult" family just as much if not more than they were taking care of me.

For about 20 years I blocked out my very early childhood and told myself that I never was happy. That was a flat out lie but that was one coping skill I seemed to pick up right away…denial and repression. I think, like many adults, I am still regurgitating the residual traces of that scar that may or may never go away. I don't know how I could have vented or "expressed" my emotions as a young boy of age 6. The very person who became my fulltime caretaker was also the person mainly to blame for shattering my life. I didn't know how to express that anger to someone who I loved so dearly, all the while she was someone – still growing into herself – the "me" generation — and became a different person with different expectations of herself and of me.

I'm sure the word "therapy" has been going off in your mind by now and I don't blame you. I'm sure I could benefit to some degree from therapy but I choose instead to go my own way. I always maintain that I am the only one who's not in therapy but the only one who should be.

In any case, my adulthood has been a slow cruise but I am finally studying Acupuncture and Chinese medicine, which is something I've wanted to do since I was 25. I knew then as I do now that it fits me extremely well and I can't wait to get out there and actually work as ME, finally!

In the meantime, I study hard and I am trying to find my way as an INFJ. Being in school has proven to be the same ol stuff where my intuition and feelings are glossed over by the academics and rigermoral of "regurgitating" facts. Well that is ok because it's just the way it all tends to work but I'll be DAMNED if I ever like it and you can't make me.

Slowly and surely I am beginning to like being me and being and INFJ, something that I liked very much when I was a young boy. I realize now that I am simply headed back to that place in my life, my way, whatever it takes to ensure that my life is as I want it because INFJs aren't just dreamers, as you know! We do it like we dream it which is exactly what makes us so damn amazing.

So for all of you out there who may be down on yourselves for being INFJ in this world, I say to you that you are one of the most unique and special types of people who walk the earth and that's no joke…it's serious. You've seen the famous types as an example. Whether you go on to win a nobel prize or become a loving parent, the people who are in your life will value you as having made a big difference in this world.

Thanks for this forum and giving people like me the chance for a rambling vent!

I wish more INFJs so easily shouldered the burden of being a "counselor".

2.18.2006 I first took a Meyers-Briggs personality inventory in the 8th grade, when I discovered I was an "INFJ". I recall feeling as if I were reading a verbal portrait of myself encapsulated in the INFJ's description. In the past nine years, I have taken different versions of the inventory 4 times and each time my designation remains unchanged.

Whether it was the result of a dificult (& lonely) childhood or my personality, I learned to tie my happiness to the achievement of goals rather than people or things. In my case, I discovered a passion for helping people early in my education. This service-oriented mentality motivated me to volunteer with hospice in college and work toward becoming a physician (with the ultimate goal of volunteering abroad with Doctors without Borders). I find a great sense of fulfillment and contentment through helping others and always have. My interests tend to be somewhat eclectic. I turned to music (primarily bassoon) as a creative outlet but also enjoy(ed) spending time outdoors or in quiet coffee shops with a friend or two-oftentimes analyzing various aspects of life...

Despite having relatively few friends for a college student, the friendships I do have are inexplicably valuable and rich. Many colleagues tell me that I am driven and I convey an air of pretension, aloofness, or weirdness about me but that once they get to know me, they are surprised by my genuine compassion and idealistic views. Honestly, I often wish I "connected" more easily with people on a greater level than the emotional. I am highly sensitive to the emotional states of my friends and family and know their moods despite not knowing what causes them. It's paradoxical to think that I can connect and identify with people on a deeper (emotional) level despite feeling very foreign and physically distant... that's life for an INFJ, I suppose.

On the whole, I am immensely happy to be the INFJ that I am. I will be starting medical school this fall and knowing that one day as a physician, I will have the privilege of devoting my life's work to enriching the lives of others justifies every sacrifice in the past and gives me the strength to continue working toward a better future.

-- Mike, age 22, email

2.16.2006 after much search, i'm fairly certain that my dominant personality is infj. 'i' about 70%, 'n' almost 100%, but the 'f' and 'j' preferences much slighter. during my first couple years in college, when i was trying to find my place in the social world as the 'neurotic little girl' (my english 101 professor's term of endearment for me), i tested as intp. this remained consistent for a long time. i related sooo well to the overanalysis of everything, the tendency to criticize (and have my criticisms misunderstood), and the attempt to bring truth to everything and "reconstruct the universe" according to my own ideals. i was very obsessed with being logical, having this inbred certainty that feeling-based judgement was wrong and 'flighty' and silly fluff that should not be used for actual decisions. i still believe that most of what people consider feeling, and the softer-fluffier aspects of the 'f' type, are not what the typology actually means. it seems that the majority of online descriptions, at least, tend to focus on a sappy sort of feeling, a disgust of science and mathematics, and a belief that 'peace and love' have no practical or even logical aspects AT ALL. as a connector, i have begun recently realizing that my as an 'INF-' i am a connector by nature, and as such i believe the logical and emotional worlds to be equally legitimate sides of reality - but each with it's own realm of jurisdiction. i do not think that all decisions should be made 'cuz i feel like it.' i find scientific theories fascinating, although i've never really had the patience to investigate them full-on. basically, i have since figured out that i might be more of an 'f' preference than i had hitherto realized.

my version of the 'f' is that it is my first impulse - not necessarily my final conclusion - to take critisisms and insults personally and negatively; and to empathise deeply with human pain of every sort - to the point where i have learned to quite effectively 'block out' those intuitions and empathies and so-called psychic visions that infjs are so famous for. thus, i think, the developed 't' preference. as far as p versus j goes, i go both routes - my soul is always seeking the truth, the 'right,' the closure to everything - but in another sense, i hate to actually be tied down to any of these conclusions. i always feel that there COULD be another possibility, a new idea, another way that may be better for the first way. this feels like 'p,' but i wonder if it might be explained (per infj perspective) as simply a very strong concern with doing/finding the best possibility; intuition tells that there might still be more information yet to come, that closing myself off to possibilities might limit growth or progress - even while the judging functions longs for closure and completion and finality.
does this make sense? yes, i know that i am rambling (and this little box doesn't let me re-read my entry easily so i'm just wingin' it :) ). i also know that i am not using proper puncuation. i happen to be a linguistics major, and i happen not to care. bwahaha (evil witch laugh.)

anyhow i enjoy this site and appreciate all's comments, quite interesting. have one question though - any comments or thoughts would be much appreciated on the subject of infj type and stress/negativity - ?!! i have found brief blurbs on the subject, mostly on the lines of 'under stress, will withdraw' and so on. i'm thinkin deeper levels. i found one somewhat decent article at http://www.personalitypage.com/INFJ_per.html --- anything else anybody finds, esp. relating to the non-angelic or non-fluffy qualities of the type (haha) i'd much love to read it! thx all!

-- Anonymous, age 23

2.10.2006

I'm really only familiar with Gandi and Jung and would say I relate to Jung the most out of these two. I'm reading a bio on him now and can really resonate with his terminology and experiences.

What's it like to be an INFJ? Kind of painful. While growing up, I think I put too much weight into my intuitive side...mostly because it was usually right. I fear that has cause me to develop a rather strong ego...even arrogant at times. This may have gone on just dandy (at least manageable) if it wasn't for my more recent journey into the collective unconscious. I'm learning there is little room in this inner world for a strong ego and I've been getting a taste of the madness one can experience when ego and Self meet and don't agree on things. This is why I am reading Stevens Intro on Jung. Recognizing the parallels between his life's journey and mine, I'm hoping to find some answers and ways to cope with this. I'm also open to anyone else's suggestions. Thanks.

-- Cassie, age 35, email

2.06.2006 I was shy growing up and had a dominating,complex, wonderful and sometimes frightening inner life and very intense emotions, I dont think my family knew how to handle me.

As a teenager and young adult I felt like an alien and covered it up with alcohol, trying to make myself a light hearted extravert but it was never real.

I am so relieved now that I know myself that I don't have to try anymore (to be a sensate extravert),nonetheless I still feel the pressure and enormous energy from the "crowds", luring and squeezing me in a direction I dont want to go in.

I am devastated by what I read in the papers but am so curious about the world and human nature that I usually read them anyway.

My sensitivity leaves me raw but it is a gift in the sense that I have compassion for others. This is a beautiful side of human nature. It is sad to see so many desensitized ,jaded people everywhere.

Living in the city is good being anonymous but I often dont like seeing people or being seen yet dont want to be inside all the time. Anyway, that's enough from me.

i have loved reading all the coments and relate in some way to all of them.

-- Sue, age 38

11.18.2005 I'm a long time Dostoevsky fan. His works were the first place I'd seen my questions about life broached in literature. And not only did he ask these questions (biggies), he actually attempted to answer them. You gotta love that.

Ah, the unbearable lightness of being an INFJ. I think it's fantastic. I'm familiar with the loneliness of it, the defenses it requires, but also the pleasure that having sensitivities can bring. It's a mixed bag, but one I would choose again if given a choice in such matters. Perhaps one of the biggest pluses of being an INFJ is that I can transform myself -- an awareness of my own nature gives me the ability to make myself more complete. I can create the life I want, not just defeatedly accept what I've been handed by fate. I've worked on balancing my imagination with more logical skills (a BA in Mathematics accomplished this task nicely). Right now, I'm trying to get more of the sensory world into my life. To enjoy the moment as much (or at least more) as I enjoy contemplating the future. My goal? To be principaled AND happy. That sounds like perfection to me. Best of luck to all!

Anonymous woman , age 28

11.16.2005 The closest I person I could identify myself with is Caesar. I find most goals, dreams, etc...require a battle plan of sorts and can be achieved.

This summer, with great exuberance, I discovered that I am an INTJ. Finally, I have a major piece of the puzzle to my personality. It can be frustrating when you recognize that you percieve the world differently from many, but cannot explain how or why.

I joke to myself that I would love to meet with and be in a group of other INTJs, but imagine it would be quiet (no small talk) and everyone quietly calculating a strategy to discretely leave the room to go 'think'- haha.

I never viewed myself as a leader, yet I have noticed that when things aren't going to my liking in a group, I tend to take control.

Feel free to contact me and engage in creative discussions. I am a Economics major at the University of Texas.

David, age 30, email

12.07.2005 What's it like to be an INFJ ?!- "Beam me up Scotty"!! But seriously,I've learned alot more about how not to cope and what doesn't work than what does. Don'T drink,you'll still be here in the morning.Quit trying so hard to be understood.It's not easy for them ,we are complex,we are enigmas. Accept that you are different and that's okay! We understand,love and accept you.Don't feel guilty about taking time for yourself to do nothing.We need our time to ourselves to recharge. Its nothing to be ashamed of and you don't owe them an explanation. "To thine ownself be true".

Whenever I feel like a "stranger in a strange land" which is often,and I read a quote or a book written by a famous person like Mohandas Ghandi, Mother Theresa, Elenor Rosevelt, or Jimmy Carter and I'm inspired by what they've said and done and they actually make sense to me [since most people's thought processes are frankly scarey] it's always amusing to learn they really are "my type of people".

-- Lisa, age 53

12.05.2005 As an infj, i've always been the giver, and not the taker - perhaps the doormat. I feel for people so much, they are perplexed sometimes. Like what's my problem. I was shy and a feeler growing up. I loved people and am funny - made alot of people laugh and still do. But I hurt alot inside because of abusive relationships. I've hung in there because i'm the commited loyal infj. Commited to a fault. I sometimes dislike that about myself - because people take advantage of that part of me. But I've enjoyed this blog and hope to hear more from we lovely people. We are special. We are the sensitive ones who care for people. What would the world do without us?

10.26.2005 Being an infj has been a challenge all my life. I wish I had known about all this mbti stuff when I was younger, maybe it would have helped me understand myself better, and maybe it would have helped others understand me. I think my father is an infj, and he has always been my most favorite person in the world. No wonder. He understands me in a way that no one else ever could. I've always been very analytical, very scientific, and that makes the more logical people in the world insist that I act with logic on all matters--but I don't, and they get frustrated with me.

I tend to pick and choose what areas in life to use logic in--when I rely heavily on my feelings and intuition, my decisions don't always seem to make sense to others. But in the long run everything always works out. Here I am, alive and well, so I must be doing something right! I have met with a lot of anger from people who don't understand me. This has confused me, and caused me to strive to appease others and conform to their rules of thought and behavior. But that never really worked, I would just end up hating myself for "selling out", for not telling them what I really think.

Now that I know about mbti types, I feel so liberated! No more selling out! When they yell at me for making illogical, irrational, heartfelt decisions, I'll just say--"Hey, man, get off my back--I'm an INFJ!!!"

-- Ericka Myre, age 34, email

As an INFJ I have had many battles with myself growing up. I was very shy, and found it hard to relate to people in general and always thought I was the one at fault. I grew up with a father (ISTP) who was very critical and caused a lot of confict which in turn I ended up more inside myself because of it. I even became suicidal at a young age due to the constant battle with my father who continued to put me down until I felt worthless.

I started to read selfhelp books at 13years old and a few influencial people in my life including teachers and friends gave me the positive reinforcement that I needed to get over my bump of course I didn't let anyone know I was suicidal I always kept that to myself. Things also started to get better for me as soon as I left home at 18 away from my fathers negative affect on me.

I only recently at 27years old found out I was an INFJ and when I first read the description while sitting on a bus I just about cried, I could never before put into words what was going on inside me and then suddenly this page in a book was describing me in almost exact detail. Things started making sense to me for the first time and I realised that even with the trouble growing up I had found myself and been true to myself even against my fathers and everyone elses wishes.

My Husband is an ISTJ and is very supportive and helped me grow into the person that I am today. My mum and my Half brother are both INFJ's as well and Ironically I chose to live with my father growing up rather than my mother as they were seperated when I was young. I work in a large corporation and sometimes feel I am not making much of a difference, I think there is more satisfying work for me to discover as I love helping people and counselling people who are down to help them feel better.

-- Tiffany, age 27

8.24.2005 Being an INFJ to me, is like living inside of a locked house with a very pretty front lawn. People walk by and they see things that they like. A few people even stop and admire the house for awhile, and then move on. Some people try to pluck the flowers out of the ground, taking advantage of the beautiful yard when they don't think anyone is watching.

But I'm always inside, and I always see the people walking by. Only a few people stop to see if there is anyone inside of the house. At one point it bothered me tremendously what other people thought of me. Then I learned I was an INFJ. My curiosity has been insatiable. I read everything I can get my hands on. When I realized that I was perfectly normal, for an INFJ, and I felt better immediately. I stopped trying to put on an act for other people, and I immediately felt a sense of peace come over me, a sense of peace that has been very new to me. I feel very contented, because everything I've read has validated my feelings and validated my existence. It helps me to counteract the effects of the times I heard from others that I was, "weird".

Well, world, I'm not weird, I'm an INFJ, and I'm just as normal as every other INFJ. Ah, that feels so good to say.

I'm uncomfortable talking with everyone. That's normal for me. I'm very easily amused, and very easily thrilled. That's normal for me. I love people, but I usually doubt that people love me. That's normal for me. I don't like to be the center of attention. That's normal for me. I would rather spend my saturday evening reading than drinking. That's normal for me, too. I have faith that life will only get better for me if I keep looking toward the future, and working hard in the present. Wowee, I do so many normal things for an INFJ!!! I'm so glad I learned about MBTI.

When I was young I was often told by my teachers, and also by my parents that I was a smart kid. I also got messages from my family that smart people are dumb. Smart people have no common sense according to them. And to a large extent, I lack what they consider to be common sense. I can't fix a car. Sometimes I put off doing dishes because I value conversation and connection with another human being over chores. I'll switch my major from engineering to communications, just because I know it's better for my happiness, even if it's not better for my wallet. I care very little about my financial situation, now or in the future. I have goals for my life that I planned out when I was little. My most important goal is that I want to be happy. I want to be happy in my career, and in my family life, and with a few strong friendships. I had a sad childhood, and am busily trying to overcome it. I also have a strong drive to be the best I can be. I'm rather competitive. I like to be held. I like it when people thank me for helping them, and the feeling is especially good when I helped them without realizing that I did, just by being me.

My best friend here says, "You usually don't know what's going on, but you usually know just what everyone's feeling." My boyfriend says, "How did you know I wanted to go inside? I didn't tell you." and he says, "How did you know I needed that hug? I didn't tell you." He's an INTJ. He's very perceptive, too. But not so much about people's feelings. When I need a hug, he usually happily obliges, once I tell him I need a hug.

I absolutely love being an INFJ. I love having access to this great store of knowledge. I love my creativity. I love my intense and varied moods. I love intrinsically knowing people, sometimes better than they know themselves. And I don't mind that I don't like big parties. I don't mind that I don't like office politics. I don't mind that I think about things a lot and analyze them like crazy. I like being me. I like being an INFJ. I'm completely normal.

I'm as normal as the rest of you here!!!

-- Megan, age 21

8.12.2005 I identify with all those people.

As a teen, I thought I was perhaps"crazy" yet intelligent. Very unmotivated in achieving outside standards. Present: continual drive to be productive, growing in knowledge. Not a fan of religion. Agnostic. (I think INFJs tend to connect a lot of subjective experiences, and with their Ni, tend to be able to predict or "make something happen." This in turn, causes us to make a lot of "spiritual" connections.) So, I've tried to view things more objectively. This "spirituality" stopped after age 18. I have no friends but my significant other. I hope one day to find a group or job where I am appreciated.

-- Anonymous, age 22

8.10.2005 I've known for a number of years that I was INFJ, but I never linked to my feelings of isolation to the world. Also, I just learned that Jung was INFJ. Funny. I read his autobiography recently and another of his books and it all just feels so right! I feel he hit it right on on so many aspect of the human psyche! I was also touched by all the people I read here.

How have I coped? I haven't figured that one out yet. All my career was in the scientific field and I'm now realising at my age that I'm an artist! I love art, and my first love was writing. As a kid I thought I'd be a writer, but family pressure made me go into the sciences. I'm still searching for my mission in life. The only thing I know is that it has to do with helping others. It's the only thing up to now that gives full satisfaction. So I guess I need to help people and write about it so that other people can be helped by me experiences. I'm a long way from that though. I'll stop here and just wish everybody luck and love.

Syl, age 45

7.29.2005 I definitely identify with other infjs here. I am currently working on fixing my damaged auric shell.

As an INFJ, I might feel different but I try to focus on similarities too. I find that I can feel connected if I understand people and where they are coming from. I don't expect people to understand me in the same manner. i feel content if I can help the downtrodden feel better or have hope. I think a lot of people like to help others to some extent and feel appreciated too. INFJ's gifts are having vision of clarity and being empathic to enable us to understand others and ourselves at a higher level. We can probe in depth people's minds and motives. With that skill, we can bring peace in the hearts of people.

-- Anonymous female, just turned 27

7.30.2005 When I found out that i was an INFJ it was a relief and a bit of sadness. Many things I have experienced were proved to be true and not just that I´m crazy experiencing the world in a certain way. Sadness because the problems I experience were also given a thruthfullness, they were "real problems" connected to my type. I was glad that I wasn´t the only one, altough rare.

Growing up with a single mom beeing the more logical and theoretical type not liking my intuitive and sometimes unexplainable thoughts and beliefs has made me feel uncertain. I have always heard that facts are the only good thing. Just wanting something or not wanting something based on feelings are not enough. You must have the facts behind you and do right in other people´s eyes. What you feel yourself is not important as how other percieve you. For example I wasn´t allowed to quit activities when I wanted to. That was something that you just don´t do according to my mom. That´s probably why I don´t come to decisions easily and quick. I doubt about what´s the best thing to do. So many times my intuitive and emotional beliefs have been laughed at or seen as not acceptable that I don´t trust my own decisions. Those times that I feel sure about what I want and come to the conclusion that it is actually both ok and good for me (and others...as the INFJ I am) it feels so fine. Then no one can stop me.

Right now I am trying to find a job. I know what my advantages are, just don´t know really on what to apply them. I would love to be a product developer, writing books or do research about people.

-- Kristin, age 26

7.07.2005 I relate to all the INFJs in this post I feel very deeply and have always been pressured to be more outgoing and interacting with large groups can be unerving and stressful to me. I also enjoy being creative and I am trying to find my way spirtually and enjoy helping out others but still feel misunderstood because I need time to be alone and I feel people don't really understand my intoverted side and the world is pressuring me to be extroverted even though I am not an extrovert even through I put on the facade of being one somedays.

I prefer my quiet time I like exercising, researching spirtual belifs, drawing, expressing myself and I live to help out others by relating to their feelings and giving advice especially close friends.

I agree with another post that said that INFJS are a small minority of the population and I feel lucky to be one. It is nice to relate to people and to have intense feelings to be inspired by ideas,art and life but sometimes I feel like my intense feelings make me an outsider to the world and it feels hard to ask for help and connect with people sometimes because they misunderstand my intense feelings and moods.

My advice to INFJS would be to get to know yourself and use your intense feelings to inspire you towards helping others or using them as inspiration for your work. In my case that would be Graphic Design and drawing.

I have also learned to cope by taking down time to express my feelings by drawing or asking for help even though it is tough for me by relying on close friends. I have also learned how to cope with these intense feelings through writing and other forms of self expression and by exercising if these feelings become too intense to handle. I also learned how to cope by utilizing deep breathing through taking Akido to release some of my energy.

I also think I have learned how to cope by utilizing my integrity and standing up for my beliefs when I feel it is necesssary and I have learned not to be afriad to share my ideas with people close to me and honesty has also helped me develop closer relationships with my loved ones.

Finally I have learned how to cope by discovering who I am from the Myers and Briggs test and trying to accept myself for who I am on a daily baises it's been tough and I haven't mastered it quite yet but I have slowly started to try to accept who I am and how I react to different situations.

-- Anonymous, age 19

7.05.2005 i have always felt like an alien. like i never belong.

-- Angie , age 20, email, website

7.02.2005 I identify with everyone that has said something in here. Sorry if i make no sense right now, im listening to classical music as i type this. Maybe I'll make more sense?

But anyway, infj's are the most special of all the types. Seriously. Yeah that's a general description, but someone has to be it. Why special? I don't know. I'm an infj, i dont have to explain myself.

We're smart, empathetic, helpful, creative, warm, loving, and can see the future like no other.

Don't feel stressed about being an infj. When youre around people, be yourself, people love us.

Arrogant? Nah, I'm just trying to help out. Don't be afraid to be open around people, we'll have more fun in the end, make more friend, possibly find the love of our dreams. We need to be more vocal anyway. But, of all the good things I've said, it's still hard being an infj. But with all the qualities we have, it's probably inevitable. But doesnt mean we can't be happy

-- mike, age 34, email

7.01.2005 I'm glad to have finally learned that I fit in somewhere, even if it is such a small group.

Growing up, I was always independent and anti-social and I always viewed the world as an 'outsider' looking in. I've been told many times that I think too much and over-analyze everything. I'm sensitve and tend to overthink people's comments to me. I view extremely outgoing people as 'weird', and am unable to relate to extroverts. I think both logically and intuitively, which means that I am very indecisive when it comes to making decisions. I don't care for any type of social gatherings--clubs, bars, parties, etc. as they drain my energy and because I hate 'surface' talk.

Recently, I graduated with a business degree and now I'm wondering what kind of job will best fit my personality or if I picked the wrong major entirely. I would like to find my passion in life and am thinking of working for a non-profit organization

-- Angie, age 25, email

6.08.2005 I have so much trouble sometimes. I become heavily absorbed in my hobbies/ideas. It seems like since childhood people have treated me like I don't know what I'm talking about because they don't like what I'm saying. This angers me more than anything. Somehow people always perceived me as being mean when I was younger. Even though I never meant to be. I have very few friends. I usually just hang out with a couple friends from early childhood and thats it. I'm not going to college so it's hard to find smart people to hang out with. Even when I do, I hang out with them a few times and then move on to someone else. I don't stick with the same group of friends for long.

It drives me crazy when people don't act, and fail to make a decision quickly. I don't understand how I can come to decisions fast and others can't. I become very absorbed in my thoughts. I find small talk not too difficult since I'm trying to figure people out. I just ask questions and let them do the talking. It use to be very difficult for me. I still don't understand people. I find most of my assumptions of them are wrong. I have yet to find a person that wants to really get to know me. Or maybe I'm oblivious to them. Could be either or. I'm constantly trying to figure myself out. Who am I and what am I capable of. Thats one recurring question out of thousands. I'm either silent or very talkative. It seems like there's no in between no matter what I am doing.

Sometimes my thoughts are too fast even for myself. I don't know why I'm perceived so differently. I just keep going and like to have fun. Abstract thoughts excite me. I love to work on my golf swing. And I love math and science. Some day I want to teach myself math, but right now its all about my golf swing.

I try not to be arrogant yet I feel like people see me as so.

I am a manager at a local car wash. Although I don't like to tell people what to do, I find it very satisfying. I like to be in control. I guess because that means nobody is in control of me. I feel like I have to succeed not because I want to, but because I have a deep fear of losing control. I hear this voice inside me saying "you're not going to control me". I've never really thought about it until now. But I have a deep fear of not being in control. I think it's a mix of nature/nurture. I'm not going to go into details about my childhood, but I can see things a little clearer about myself now. Things are still a little blurry but they're clearing up. I just like to talk about ideas. I think I'm going to go and buy a few Ayn Rand books tomorrow.

-- Jason, age 20, email

6.08.2005 often aimlessly google and search the internet for definitions or anything to describe myself. ...Something to attach myself to..Someone to relate to... And having read these posts i've found some comfort for my racing mind.

I'm often told I don't have much emotion, or i'm labeled 'care-free'. And of course this is opposite of truth. I have always felt i'm different than the people around me and have yet to meet anyone that I can create a deep meaningful relationship with. Socially, I enjoy meaningful conversations that can outlet my creativity and observations. Though, due to my current environment I lack outlets, and I have had very few people to connect to on this profound level. Due to this, I often weave in-between a depressive state (environment) and strong ambitions.

As said by someone in a prior post.. I work hard, play hard, and love hard, But, Just not on the bumper-sticker level, or even the t-shirt level.

I would like for anyone who considers himself or herself INFJ type to email me. I'm interested to discuss.

-- Jonathan_clay@hotmail.com

ps, sorry for not staying on subject..i usually don't.

5.27.2005 I can definitely identify with western society's diagnosis of INFJs as needing to be fixed. I bought into this idea and majored in business instead of languages and writing, my true interests. I wish I had a dollar for every teacher that ever told my parents I needed to "speak up" more or basically act more extroverted in class. My "psychic" tendencies were never anything I discussed with anyone, although I think my parents suspected something when I picked the winners of the Kentucky Derby 3 years in a row. My father called my ability "scar", and I hid it ever since. Trying to be "normal" in order to be accepted exhasted and depressed me much of my life. I've resolved to live the rest of my years cultivating these INFJ qualities. I think a career change is in my future.

The greatest things about being an INFJ for me are that I seem to connect quicker on an emotional level to the human experience in general. I notice and appreciate music, art, movies, books, food and nature on a much deeper level than many of my acquaintances. I seem to be able to help people understand and solve complex emotional problems and this brings me a lot of satisfaction. As I come to accept my more psychic qualities I notice a general feeling of peace with my authentic self and I'm very grateful for this. I need more rest and quiet time than most people and many extroverts view this as "weird". I no longer struggle for acceptance from our go-getter, dog-eat-dog, extroverted, materialistic society because it's a place that will never understand my INFJ minimalist ways. Whatever! We have our own unique priceless gifts to develop and give as intuitive feeling counselors searching for the greater good in us all.

Laura, age 36, email

5.26.2005 Personally, I can identify with all my INFJ comrades, especially the no-name, dated 1-06-2004 "social injustice" and that of Joanne's ";everyone looks to me for comfort." Very true that others siphon the Hell out of us, sometimes leaving us exhausted and perplexed that this giving of ourselves is not returned to us.

As early as age eight years, I knew I was "different." Gratefully, I had good self-esteem and my insides told me I was "okay". I cannot count the number of times I was accused of being "stuck-up" only later to have the accusers admit that they were wrong once they made the effort in getting to know me. Still, I remained unaffected by what others said, 'cause I was so happy in my inner world contemplating philosophy, religion, and whatever. My mother often told people that I required no entertaining as other children demanded. Never did my INFJ place any restrictions on me until my adult life when the intuition and psychic activity made intimate relationships uncomfortable for my partner.

It wasn't until age 30 years when told by a priest, after the Jung test, I was psychic, a fact he said he suspected. My reply was "Doesn't everyone had this ability?"

Being a professional nurse for 28 years, I always knew when patients were uncomfortable without them informing me. They would ask how I knew! I sense and identify the slightest change or emotion, even in strangers. Fortunate also I have benn to have wild animals approach me, listen when I spoke to them, and show no fear.

The one and only disturbing incident was a premonition that a good friend was to"die soon." Upset, I told my mind to stop playing games with me. Five weeks later, my friend died in a head-on-collison.

As others have documented herein, some seem distressed at being who they are. I like myself this way, and without my INFJ, I would unfortunately be just like everybody else! Therefore, I encourage the discouraged to focus,not fret, on those aspects that make us indeed unique. It is great gift.

Anon, age 53

5.2.2005 i am unsure if i fit into infj. I am both a healer and a counsellor. I have a strong inner knowing and people are often transparent to me. I have a fairly conflicting astrology. I am torn in two direction all the time. Hopefully with saturn return rapidly approaching for me I can find my path. I find that being a sensitive person makes it very hard no matter what form your sensitivity takes on. Crowds are very awkard for me, I can sometimes get refered pains, negative emotions and without prior self protection it can take sometime for it to pass. I also feel drawn to tell people, often strangers things about themselves that i wonder if they should know. It can be a lonely place. Even with new age friends I can often feel isolated. I don't quite fitr in anywhere. I don't do the whole hippy or new age thing, I don't wear lots of black and I prefer to keep up to some extent with contemporary fashion. I guess I am just lost and not really sure if I fit into either definition

-- Niki, age 28.9

4.26.2005 I can relate to various elements in a number of the above comments, it's reassuring as well as offering an insight into myself. (I have trouble articulating these feelings myself, so it is good so see them expressed so well)

Anyway, I guess I'm a bit young to be looking into this thing, and I guess my characteristics can still change, but finding out about the INFJ type made a big difference to how I felt about myself. I can understand the loneliness and lack of confidence that that this type can result in, but I am lucky enough to have found my girlfriend (of almost 3 years now), who is like a pillar to lean on that helps me survive all the difficulties and pressures of being an INFJ.
I wasn't completely sure that I was an INFJ because I am a logical thinker but eventually I read somewhere that a small number of INFJs are logical thinkers. I guess that makes me a great minority. :) It really is diffcult to have such powerful intuition and emotional responses, yet to have your thoughts governed by logic. It just adds to the conflict. There certainly isn't anything I'd rather be than an INFJ though.

I can relate to the basic need to be understood, and the need to sometimes take a break from people (all but one) to 'recharge'. I mean I don't even really understand whats meant by that, but I can unmistakably feel it. It is definitely reassuring to find other people who share these feelings (that I considered to be so central to my personality).

I often find people coming to me for comfort, and I love to be able to help people however possible. (What better age group to be 'counselor' to than teenagers? :P) Luckily I have my gf to go to when I have my own troubles, and I'm infinitely grateful for that.
I can very strongly relate to the confidence, comfort, etc. in the presence of those few close friends, as well as the great difficulty with groups and/or strangers.

I have a constant drive for self improvement, which helps me to develop skills in the areas that I feel I lack in (eg. social skills).
I am happy with who I am, and I don't think I could wish for more than that.

-- Nebby, age 18

3.15.2005 i feel so relived knowing that there are others out there who echo my inner most feelings. being an infj is something that is both amazingly complex and frusturating, but also richly rewarding and fulfilling. For me, my greatest problems come when others misjudge me or seem to think i am not ever in need of caring words or sympathy, especially when that is all i seem to give. I think infj's always have the feeling of being taken advantage of, not necessarily b/c other ppl have bad intentions, but b/c they see us as readily giving and caring people, but do not realize how deeply we can feel things and be effected by people. However, the inner drive for discovering truth and a higher path are things that are intrinsic to my being and my very soul - without them i would be completely adrift, and i often wonder at the people who seem to be satisfied with anything less. as someone said before, my greatest wish as an infj is for someone to understand me, just as i am able to understand others. it took me a long time to accept myself as an infj, but now i have come to terms with being an introvert (not a dirty word!), and i take comfort in the fact that the few friends i have are true-blue kindred spirits.

-- Anonymous, age 21

3.08.2005 I am an INFJ and it sure gets tough sometimes! I feel so different from other people yet still want to live for them and be a part of their lives. I feel all too often that people are very self-centered and don't care about others. Maybe I'm too careful. I plan on being a physician, a doctor of Osteopathy (D.O.). D.O.'s receive proper medical training but practice in a holistic manner. I have a huge interest in the brain and psyche believing chemistry is at the physical roots of these. I want to become a neuropsychiatrist. Has anyone ever thought about leadership roles?

We have so much potential as INFJ's. It's great to see that other people do experience what I experience. I believe I met a girl last night who is like us. She said she's not sure which she is (INFP of INFJ), but I was just blown away to hear that! What are the chances!

Steven, age 22

2.20.2005 Taking the personality test has been a god send! I identify with all of these people. I have spent the greater part of my life trying to please and help everyone around me and find there is no one to help me when I need it. I have become very resentful and tend to keep to myself more and more. I married an iNTJ and have taken on some of his personality traits. I am not sure it is for the better. I find that I have a very hard time making friends. My husband says that I scare people because I always know what they are thinking or what they really feel. I am also unable to hide how I feel and that causes conflict with friends. Friends tend to think that I have it all together because I am very diciplied and able to work towards a goal and eventualy meet it. I hate people that make excuses for their life without trying to change it. I don't feel that anything is out of my reach and I plan for everything. I feel like I never meet others like me and now I know why. 2% of the population are like me and I am sure I have not met one yet! Lately people look at me like I am from another planet when I talk which makes me feel bad and want to withdraw to my little corner of the world all the more. I am a stay at home mom these days after trying non-profit work and getting a degree in psychology. I find that being around needy people for very long drains me. Staying home can be hard because I want things to be perfect all the time. I get angry at family for mess and can't understand why it is so hard to keep things perfect. Ok, enough of my rambling. I am just so pleased to read that there are others like me. I would like some suggestions for making new friends.

-- Andrea, age 39

2.08.2005 All these years I always felt a little crazy and even joked about it with my friends. But I recently discovered that I am not crazy. There are people out there like me who genuienly like to give and listen and be over burdened with peoples problems. Knowing that there are people who get it when you can feel other peoples emotions. I have tried explaining that to other people and they think I am crazy. Or when you get feelings that something is going to happen and you are not quite sure what it is and you can't explain it to anyone and you don't feel better until you find out what that feeling is about.

It is just an absoluting a wonderful feeling knowing that I am not alone in this world that are people who understand. I guess that is what I have been searching for all these years, is for someone who just understands how I feel.

-- Stephanie, age 25

2.08.2005 I often feel lonely, like this "inner drive" is the only thing I can count on. I keep to myself because I don't always identify with people & social situations, yet I'm in love with humanity. I feel like I'm humanity's bodyguard or something. I feel disillusioned and overwhelmed by capitalism, routine, and ignorance. I've come to realize that activism and social work keep me happy, that I need to involve myself in "doing good" in order to feel at peace. I use solitude to recharge, but it often makes me feel even more alone. When I say I'm out to change the world.. I mean it.

Kathlyn, age 21

2.08.2005 I feel as if no one else sees things as i do. i try to explain it but they do not understand. I dislike conflicts and do my best to relieve the tension in a situation. when i feel as if it's all too much, i take time out and reassess the situation. that usually calms things down for me.

Irene, age 20

1.21.2005 I echo much of what Joanna said. What I've learned is that people love us as long as we are giving but few keep loving after the giving is finished. Hold your best service back for those who appreciate it. Mother Teresa could service all but few of us have that boundless energy, do we?

Tom, age 46, website

1.06.2004 In looking at the TypeLogic page, I do identify with Reverend King. Why? Because he preached inclusivity instead of exclusivity and gave his life in pursuit of that goal for others.

What's it like to be an intj? It's odd because I have such conflicting feelings about why I do the things I do. Politically, I feel as though I am a libertarian more often than not, however I recognize that not everyone has the advantages, the intellect, the ability or the desire to achieve- or whatever internal or external force it is keeping them from fulfilling their potential. I use politics as a filter because that is the realm in which I've chosen to "help mankind".

It's busy and it's painful. It's obviously busy because there are so many to help and so many ways in which to help them. I try to stay focused on the bigger picture- helping larger groups of people instead of reaching out to individuals. In the past, I have been emotionally and physically overwhelmed attempting to help individuals and to save myself, I found it necessary to put distance between me and "them".

I think I have a good, hardened facade that keeps those closest to me from overwhelming me with their needs, but I am that person on the corner tourists, lost children and animals seek out- seriously. When I worked at a local zoo- in an office, not even in the park- it was amazing how many children would immediately find me on one of my walks through the zoo and choose me to help them find their parents. Tourists abound in my hometown year 'round, and if I travel anywhere downtown, if I stand still for just a second, I am approached by three or four people to give directions. My mother claims that I've always had this "gift" of drawing people to me without effort.

The other thing is the intuition. I just *know* when I'm right- when someone is ok to trust, when it's not right to go down a street, when friend shouldn't date that interesting person (the people are never interesting, but always crazy)... You'd think after years of getting it right for others, I'd do better for myself- but then again, I am the person weirdos seek for help, so maybe it does make sense. It does work professionally, though- my last two jobs I've basically just said aloud that I'd like a new job, doing this or that and it's come to me.

-- Jen

1.06.2004 I feel a great rift between my rich, active inner life and my quiet and rather mundane outer life. When alone or in small intimate social settings, I radiate with self-confidence, enthusiasm and a great passion for social justice. How often I have wished to access that inner treasure at a large social gathering or job interview and instead found nothing to say! Despite my social awkwardness,I have always known how to be of service in small and hidden ways. Now as I embark on a new career I am learning how to bring my inner wisdom and compassion to my public life.

I used to have very strong emotional reactions to every little disturbing detail of my life and I have since taken up meditation,yoga and Buddhist practice as a way to center myself. I am lucky that I am easily inspired; I can extricate myself from an emotional rut by simply reading a story or poem or focusing on the beauty in my external environment. Learning how to work with intense feelings, however, is my lifelong work. It surprises me often that others are so totally unaware of the depth of my emotions and I am constantly baffled that others perceive me as steadfast and calm.

It is unbelievably exciting to realize that there are other people in the world who are like me. Lately, I have been wondering if there is really just something wrong with me because I think so much and feel so strongly about so many things. Now I am beginning to accept the strengths and weaknesses of the INFJ temperment. At this time in my life, I am particularly aware of my extreme introversion and I am learning to accept it as an asset rather than a burden.

age 31

12.03.2004 oh do i ever identify with those people! it is so amazing to read such things. being an introvert itself is a very hard thing to be, but being an infj with these feelings of wanting to save the world on a daily bases and avoiding it at the same time is very crazy and mind-blowing! we are a very unique people indeed, we love hard, play hard, work hard, breathe hard, fight hard,think hard...everything we do and say has an intense all or nothing feel to it! we want to control and order things, yet surrender completely to a higher power? how do we understand ourselves w/ such a countradictory personality? to feel so deeply and passionately about things...my biggest fear is that...to fall inlove and i would be the one to love like it's the last thing i'll do while they are just "loving"...it kills me, but why are we not drawn to those like us? instead we are drawn to our polar opposite? that i do not like or understand! oh well i'm done, and i thank you all for such insight

11.15.2004 Dy, late 20s. hi, read some of your comments and can identify. yup people automatically expect me to comfort them. but when I need them to comfort me - they either dunno how or are dumbfounded that I need comfort too..some looked amazed that at the depth of emotion beneath my placid surface when I really lose it.
Its frustrating coz I would like to receive support too.. also tend to absorb others' emotions.

any advice on this ?
driving me crazy at times.

11.16.2004 Joanna, age 28. i'm not sure i identify exactly with any one person, but i do think that everything jung has ever had to say rang true for me.

it is definitely complicated and difficult to be an infj! i am very sensitive to the world, especially to other's suffering and moods. i can't watch the news and hear all the bad things happening in the world. i see each person as an individual with a life, so when 9-11 happened, i grieved for each person, and their families and it just overwhelmed me. it took me a long time to seperate and extricate myself from others and create boundaries to preserve my inner truths. i am definitely a take-it or leave-it person - i wear my emotions and moods on my sleeve and i don't think i could hide them if i tried. i think i experience the world a shade more deeply than most people, everything is very intense, including myself. i have over the past five years spent a lot of my time on developing a spiritual practise and through that figuring out what's right for me - and learning to disregard everyone else's opinions on how i should be.

i think a lot of people in my life and my family rely on me for comforting, and they give me a hard time when i want to take space to myself to recharge. i used to spend too much time doing for others and suffering from not doing enough for myself by being sick to the point of not able to hold a full-time job. anyways, i cope now by spending a lot of time alone doing yoga and meditation and personal ritual. i eat organic foods most of the time, prepare my own meals, live as simply as possible. i always give or throw away excess things - the less in my house the less i have to clean and more time to relax! i schedule entire days, afternoons to myself for reading, staying in pj's watching cartoons or playing video games, cuddling with my husband. i limit my social events to one per day, not every day, and no longer give in to demands by my family & friends that i spend more time with them. i spent so much of my life trying to make them all happy and gain their approval, trying to be extroverted and social and rambunctious, and it finally occurred to me that they don't try to make me happy do they? so why am i harming myself for their pleasure and approval? i won't do it any longer and i released all the guilt i felt for being different and not good enough. ok this is a long ramble. i'll stop here. :)

11.16.2004 Anonymous female, age 25. Well, you forgot Mother Teresa. [Nancy's note: Keirsey doesn't have her as an infj] I do hope that one day I can say I identify with the nobility and success of these people. As for their personal growth, I'd rather not compare myself to them as everyone has a different journey.

What's it like as an INFJ? Well, everone thinks you're nuts or you need to be "fixed" which is so ironic it's not when you are the one spending your whole life wanting to help them. It's a stupid interior drive that won't quit and it's better to die trying then to let it go.

I can't tell you how relieved I am to know that my personality isn't a result of lack of mental growth...it's just the opposite. And knowing that there were some great people with this personality just makes me feel more sure about my ways.

11.15.2004 Tiffany, age 25. I feel comfort knowing others experince the world as I do. People of these tempermeants (amoung others) have achived great things. I feel honored and blessed to share the infj quality.

11.14.2004 David, age 52. I really identify with Sarah and the anonymous contribution that follows her. I care alot about people but do not consider myself a do-gooder. I just try to resolve problems from a people perspective first before going completely TJ. I should add that I am a civil engineer, trained T but never lost the strength of my F. Because of this, I tend to lose a lot of battles in the short term, but always win the war because I have a lot of support from people.

10.23.2004 Carly, age 30 CARL JUNG - rich inner world and ELEANOR ROOSEVELT -- I identify with them because of their compassionate and down to earth nature.

I realized I was not going crazy! I am a vocalist and have to perform in front of crowds often so my personality is the antithisis of what I do for a living. It's hard at times and I shut people out a lot. I am feeling a whole lot better knowing that at 2% of the population I am no longer alone :)

10.23.2004 BJ Lawrence, age 48 I started out as an INFP now I'm a J, it goes back and forth depending.....How I cope with my type is to respect it, give myself what I need, prioritize rest and alone time. Take deep breaths and slow down my interactions around extraverts. Stop feeling guilty for being selfish with my time. I like what I am, I feel it's about acceptance. I can process a lot easier than extraverts and I like that about myself.

10.23.2004 I identify very much with Carl Jung, as I have enjoyed learning about psychology very much at different times in my life. I wrote a paper about Carl Jung for a psychology class about 9 years ago, at a time when I was beginning a life-changing spiritual search that led me to become a member of the Bahá'í Faith. Carl Jung had incredible insight into the human soul and human experience, and it is no surprise that from his work has come such an incredible tool as the Myers-Briggs Indicator, which has helped me very much to better understand myself, and to feel much less guilt about needing time alone.

After reading some things on this site, I may try reading up on his biography.

I think it is interesting that the person [below] mentioned "do gooders," because that is perhaps how the world often sees INFJs, but I think that we have a sense that doing good is a big part of the reason that God created us (roughly 1% of the general population) as we are. It is not out of self-righteousness, but out of a genuine desire to serve others.

I can definitely relate to the idea that introverts sometimes put on an "extroverted front" as I have done that at many many times in my life.

Following a period of depression I experienced back when I was basically unaware of my MBTI type, I made a huge effort to be more outgoing. In some ways this did help, but it also made me quite over-extended and exhausted.

Now that I am more aware of my my type and how it impacts my life, I am beginning to learn to better balance differing elements in my life, and learning how I can best be of service to the world as an INFJ.

All of you blessed with this temperament type are in my prayers. Please keep me in yours as well (or send out some positive vibes if you aren't into prayer.)

Peace.

-- Anonymous male, approximately 30