Famous INFJ

Read what Nancy's INFJ readers say about themselves and how they have learned to cope.

2.20.2005 Taking the personality test has been a god send! I identify with all of these people. I have spent the greater part of my life trying to please and help everyone around me and find there is no one to help me when I need it. I have become very resentful and tend to keep to myself more and more. I married an iNTJ and have taken on some of his personality traits. I am not sure it is for the better. I find that I have a very hard time making friends. My husband says that I scare people because I always know what they are thinking or what they really feel. I am also unable to hide how I feel and that causes conflict with friends. Friends tend to think that I have it all together because I am very diciplied and able to work towards a goal and eventualy meet it. I hate people that make excuses for their life without trying to change it. I don't feel that anything is out of my reach and I plan for everything. I feel like I never meet others like me and now I know why. 2% of the population are like me and I am sure I have not met one yet! Lately people look at me like I am from another planet when I talk which makes me feel bad and want to withdraw to my little corner of the world all the more. I am a stay at home mom these days after trying non-profit work and getting a degree in psychology. I find that being around needy people for very long drains me. Staying home can be hard because I want things to be perfect all the time. I get angry at family for mess and can't understand why it is so hard to keep things perfect. Ok, enough of my rambling. I am just so pleased to read that there are others like me. I would like some suggestions for making new friends.

-- Andrea, age 39

2.08.2005 All these years I always felt a little crazy and even joked about it with my friends. But I recently discovered that I am not crazy. There are people out there like me who genuienly like to give and listen and be over burdened with peoples problems. Knowing that there are people who get it when you can feel other peoples emotions. I have tried explaining that to other people and they think I am crazy. Or when you get feelings that something is going to happen and you are not quite sure what it is and you can't explain it to anyone and you don't feel better until you find out what that feeling is about.

It is just an absoluting a wonderful feeling knowing that I am not alone in this world that are people who understand. I guess that is what I have been searching for all these years, is for someone who just understands how I feel.

-- Stephanie, age 25

2.08.2005 I often feel lonely, like this "inner drive" is the only thing I can count on. I keep to myself because I don't always identify with people & social situations, yet I'm in love with humanity. I feel like I'm humanity's bodyguard or something. I feel disillusioned and overwhelmed by capitalism, routine, and ignorance. I've come to realize that activism and social work keep me happy, that I need to involve myself in "doing good" in order to feel at peace. I use solitude to recharge, but it often makes me feel even more alone. When I say I'm out to change the world.. I mean it.

Kathlyn, age 21

2.08.2005 I feel as if no one else sees things as i do. i try to explain it but they do not understand. I dislike conflicts and do my best to relieve the tension in a situation. when i feel as if it's all too much, i take time out and reassess the situation. that usually calms things down for me.

Irene, age 20

1.21.2005 I echo much of what Joanna said. What I've learned is that people love us as long as we are giving but few keep loving after the giving is finished. Hold your best service back for those who appreciate it. Mother Teresa could service all but few of us have that boundless energy, do we?

Tom, age 46, website

1.06.2004 In looking at the TypeLogic page, I do identify with Reverend King. Why? Because he preached inclusivity instead of exclusivity and gave his life in pursuit of that goal for others.

What's it like to be an intj? It's odd because I have such conflicting feelings about why I do the things I do. Politically, I feel as though I am a libertarian more often than not, however I recognize that not everyone has the advantages, the intellect, the ability or the desire to achieve- or whatever internal or external force it is keeping them from fulfilling their potential. I use politics as a filter because that is the realm in which I've chosen to "help mankind".

It's busy and it's painful. It's obviously busy because there are so many to help and so many ways in which to help them. I try to stay focused on the bigger picture- helping larger groups of people instead of reaching out to individuals. In the past, I have been emotionally and physically overwhelmed attempting to help individuals and to save myself, I found it necessary to put distance between me and "them".

I think I have a good, hardened facade that keeps those closest to me from overwhelming me with their needs, but I am that person on the corner tourists, lost children and animals seek out- seriously. When I worked at a local zoo- in an office, not even in the park- it was amazing how many children would immediately find me on one of my walks through the zoo and choose me to help them find their parents. Tourists abound in my hometown year 'round, and if I travel anywhere downtown, if I stand still for just a second, I am approached by three or four people to give directions. My mother claims that I've always had this "gift" of drawing people to me without effort.

The other thing is the intuition. I just *know* when I'm right- when someone is ok to trust, when it's not right to go down a street, when friend shouldn't date that interesting person (the people are never interesting, but always crazy)... You'd think after years of getting it right for others, I'd do better for myself- but then again, I am the person weirdos seek for help, so maybe it does make sense. It does work professionally, though- my last two jobs I've basically just said aloud that I'd like a new job, doing this or that and it's come to me.

-- Jen

1.06.2004 I feel a great rift between my rich, active inner life and my quiet and rather mundane outer life. When alone or in small intimate social settings, I radiate with self-confidence, enthusiasm and a great passion for social justice. How often I have wished to access that inner treasure at a large social gathering or job interview and instead found nothing to say! Despite my social awkwardness,I have always known how to be of service in small and hidden ways. Now as I embark on a new career I am learning how to bring my inner wisdom and compassion to my public life.

I used to have very strong emotional reactions to every little disturbing detail of my life and I have since taken up meditation,yoga and Buddhist practice as a way to center myself. I am lucky that I am easily inspired; I can extricate myself from an emotional rut by simply reading a story or poem or focusing on the beauty in my external environment. Learning how to work with intense feelings, however, is my lifelong work. It surprises me often that others are so totally unaware of the depth of my emotions and I am constantly baffled that others perceive me as steadfast and calm.

It is unbelievably exciting to realize that there are other people in the world who are like me. Lately, I have been wondering if there is really just something wrong with me because I think so much and feel so strongly about so many things. Now I am beginning to accept the strengths and weaknesses of the INFJ temperment. At this time in my life, I am particularly aware of my extreme introversion and I am learning to accept it as an asset rather than a burden.

age 31

12.03.2004 oh do i ever identify with those people! it is so amazing to read such things. being an introvert itself is a very hard thing to be, but being an infj with these feelings of wanting to save the world on a daily bases and avoiding it at the same time is very crazy and mind-blowing! we are a very unique people indeed, we love hard, play hard, work hard, breathe hard, fight hard,think hard...everything we do and say has an intense all or nothing feel to it! we want to control and order things, yet surrender completely to a higher power? how do we understand ourselves w/ such a countradictory personality? to feel so deeply and passionately about things...my biggest fear is that...to fall inlove and i would be the one to love like it's the last thing i'll do while they are just "loving"...it kills me, but why are we not drawn to those like us? instead we are drawn to our polar opposite? that i do not like or understand! oh well i'm done, and i thank you all for such insight

11.15.2004 Dy, late 20s. hi, read some of your comments and can identify. yup people automatically expect me to comfort them. but when I need them to comfort me - they either dunno how or are dumbfounded that I need comfort too..some looked amazed that at the depth of emotion beneath my placid surface when I really lose it.
Its frustrating coz I would like to receive support too.. also tend to absorb others' emotions.

any advice on this ?
driving me crazy at times.

11.16.2004 Joanna, age 28. i'm not sure i identify exactly with any one person, but i do think that everything jung has ever had to say rang true for me.

it is definitely complicated and difficult to be an infj! i am very sensitive to the world, especially to other's suffering and moods. i can't watch the news and hear all the bad things happening in the world. i see each person as an individual with a life, so when 9-11 happened, i grieved for each person, and their families and it just overwhelmed me. it took me a long time to seperate and extricate myself from others and create boundaries to preserve my inner truths. i am definitely a take-it or leave-it person - i wear my emotions and moods on my sleeve and i don't think i could hide them if i tried. i think i experience the world a shade more deeply than most people, everything is very intense, including myself. i have over the past five years spent a lot of my time on developing a spiritual practise and through that figuring out what's right for me - and learning to disregard everyone else's opinions on how i should be.

i think a lot of people in my life and my family rely on me for comforting, and they give me a hard time when i want to take space to myself to recharge. i used to spend too much time doing for others and suffering from not doing enough for myself by being sick to the point of not able to hold a full-time job. anyways, i cope now by spending a lot of time alone doing yoga and meditation and personal ritual. i eat organic foods most of the time, prepare my own meals, live as simply as possible. i always give or throw away excess things - the less in my house the less i have to clean and more time to relax! i schedule entire days, afternoons to myself for reading, staying in pj's watching cartoons or playing video games, cuddling with my husband. i limit my social events to one per day, not every day, and no longer give in to demands by my family & friends that i spend more time with them. i spent so much of my life trying to make them all happy and gain their approval, trying to be extroverted and social and rambunctious, and it finally occurred to me that they don't try to make me happy do they? so why am i harming myself for their pleasure and approval? i won't do it any longer and i released all the guilt i felt for being different and not good enough. ok this is a long ramble. i'll stop here. :)

11.16.2004 Anonymous female, age 25. Well, you forgot Mother Teresa. [Nancy's note: Keirsey doesn't have her as an infj] I do hope that one day I can say I identify with the nobility and success of these people. As for their personal growth, I'd rather not compare myself to them as everyone has a different journey.

What's it like as an INFJ? Well, everone thinks you're nuts or you need to be "fixed" which is so ironic it's not when you are the one spending your whole life wanting to help them. It's a stupid interior drive that won't quit and it's better to die trying then to let it go.

I can't tell you how relieved I am to know that my personality isn't a result of lack of mental growth...it's just the opposite. And knowing that there were some great people with this personality just makes me feel more sure about my ways.

11.15.2004 Tiffany, age 25. I feel comfort knowing others experince the world as I do. People of these tempermeants (amoung others) have achived great things. I feel honored and blessed to share the infj quality.

11.14.2004 David, age 52. I really identify with Sarah and the anonymous contribution that follows her. I care alot about people but do not consider myself a do-gooder. I just try to resolve problems from a people perspective first before going completely TJ. I should add that I am a civil engineer, trained T but never lost the strength of my F. Because of this, I tend to lose a lot of battles in the short term, but always win the war because I have a lot of support from people.

10.23.2004 Carly, age 30 CARL JUNG - rich inner world and ELEANOR ROOSEVELT -- I identify with them because of their compassionate and down to earth nature.

I realized I was not going crazy! I am a vocalist and have to perform in front of crowds often so my personality is the antithisis of what I do for a living. It's hard at times and I shut people out a lot. I am feeling a whole lot better knowing that at 2% of the population I am no longer alone :)

10.23.2004 BJ Lawrence, age 48 I started out as an INFP now I'm a J, it goes back and forth depending.....How I cope with my type is to respect it, give myself what I need, prioritize rest and alone time. Take deep breaths and slow down my interactions around extraverts. Stop feeling guilty for being selfish with my time. I like what I am, I feel it's about acceptance. I can process a lot easier than extraverts and I like that about myself.

10.23.2004 I identify very much with Carl Jung, as I have enjoyed learning about psychology very much at different times in my life. I wrote a paper about Carl Jung for a psychology class about 9 years ago, at a time when I was beginning a life-changing spiritual search that led me to become a member of the Bahá'í Faith. Carl Jung had incredible insight into the human soul and human experience, and it is no surprise that from his work has come such an incredible tool as the Myers-Briggs Indicator, which has helped me very much to better understand myself, and to feel much less guilt about needing time alone.

After reading some things on this site, I may try reading up on his biography.

I think it is interesting that the person [below] mentioned "do gooders," because that is perhaps how the world often sees INFJs, but I think that we have a sense that doing good is a big part of the reason that God created us (roughly 1% of the general population) as we are. It is not out of self-righteousness, but out of a genuine desire to serve others.

I can definitely relate to the idea that introverts sometimes put on an "extroverted front" as I have done that at many many times in my life.

Following a period of depression I experienced back when I was basically unaware of my MBTI type, I made a huge effort to be more outgoing. In some ways this did help, but it also made me quite over-extended and exhausted.

Now that I am more aware of my my type and how it impacts my life, I am beginning to learn to better balance differing elements in my life, and learning how I can best be of service to the world as an INFJ.

All of you blessed with this temperament type are in my prayers. Please keep me in yours as well (or send out some positive vibes if you aren't into prayer.)

Peace.

-- Anonymous male, approximately 30

10.03.2004 mother Theresa has been my heroin for many years. I love her ethos - that she recognises something sacred and special in the most poor and deprived people.

What's it like to be an infj? I leave parties early; avoid crowds and noisy places, and enjoy my own space.

-- Sarah, age 42

9.20.2004 No, I don't identify with any of these people. Defending the Innocent sounds very "do gooder." I see myself as someone who empowers people who are already OK. Or another way to put it, one who brings out the greatness in others.

-- Anonymous

READ SPECIAL ARTICLES FOR INFJ's

David deVaughn on friendship.
David deVaughn on
Hadley Ajana on friendship, perception and other things.

ADD YOUR COMMENTS TO HELP OTHER INFJS