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My
experience of being introverted by WILLIAM
(his name has been changed)
I have taken Myers/Briggs several times, and about 75% come up as INTJ and 25% as INTP. So I'm a little split on the Judging/Perceiving. But a lot of people consider me very judgemental, so there ya go...
Starting and maintaining a relationship is very difficult for me--especially prospective romantic encounters. My introverted nature is the first obstacle, but adding to that is the fact that I am just not seen as a very approachable person.
Now, I won't growl/bite/whatever when someone comes up to me (or when I go up to someone) but apparantly I cast an "aura" that drives people away. I tend not to smile a lot. It just seems to take so much of an effort to display all those "body talk" signs.
If I do manage to meet someone, usually things will fall apart if we ever discuss politics or religion. I refuse to compromise my beliefs, and it seems some people can't handle that. They will label you "close-minded and opinionated." It's not that I won't listen to their beliefs and opinions--I will defend their right to have and express those beliefs and opinions. It's just that it seems that if you do not change your opinions to be more in-line with whomever you have met, they consider you close-minded. Whatever... I simply do not see how so many people apparantly go through life swaying whichever way the wind happens to be blowing.
As for socializing...I saw a girl on the INTJ page writing about how she and her INTJ boyfriend like to have fun staying at home playing computer games. I sure wish I could find a woman who liked to do that, and also thought tinkering with home-theater and doing home-improvement (maybe some woodworking, too) was fun. I *so* hate going through all the antics to go "out on the town." I just feel like people are "playing grown-up" and need to be entertained all the time. I'd just as soon find ways to entertain ourselves without so much fluff involved. I don't like "meet-markets." (but I'm a carnivore, so I *do* like Meat Markets...lol) I don't mind crowds if I'm just part of the anonymous mass (i.e., movies, sporting events, etc).
I cannot tolerate attention-switching behavior for long. It stresses me to the breaking point. I took a $10k pay-cut to change jobs to get away from a boss who changed my assignment every 15 minutes. I think I may have developed an ulcer from that experience.
I do *care* about world-events and people. I just don't express it in a very empathetic way. My feelings tend to be carried deep inside, because I learned a long time ago that carrying them too close to the surface makes you vulnerable.
I'm politically conservative, and one reason is that I cannot stand those who would have change for the sake of change. To me, there has to be a *reason* for making a change, and the results have to be *measureable* and the *consequences* of the change have to be acceptable. Too many "big ideas" in the political world are very short-sighted. Nobody thinks things through, and that drives me crazy when people get all lathered up over some half-baked social program proposal that won't help and will just take money out of the taxpayer's wallet. I guess you could say I'm very pragmatic.
I am an engineer, and while I would probably make a good manager, I never will be one. The reason is that you never want to take an engineer who *gets things done* out of doing engineering--that just takes away one of the guys who is pulling most of the load.
Good reads are The Dilbert Effect and The Dilbert Future. Scott Adams undertands the INTJ well. The Dilbert Effect is that you are promoted to your level of incompetence. I see that all the time.
I do often feel like jumping up and shouting "why am I surrounded by MORONS?!" (especially when I'm driving). It's not that I have such a low view of people, but most people seem to do such STUPID things.
A movie character that I found I could identify with was the protagonist in Falling Down. I used to live in an apartment complex where I would be shaken out of my bed on Saturday mornins from the Rap playing in the parking lot. I had fantasies of walking out my apartment with a shotgun, shooting it in the air to get everyone's attention, and screaming "shut that junk off!" Anyone else ever feel the same about something that bothered you?
the quintessential INTJ
As far as literature, I'm definitely a fan of Edgar Allen Poe, and that man who ripped off his detective story style, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. Daupin / Holmes wasn't entirely an INTJ, but he certainly shared many qualities with us. As music goes, I like most anything but Rap. As decorating goes, my tastes range from Victorian, to modern and elegant. I am a study in controversies in many ways.
One thing I'm both praised for and penalized for in work is my ability to latch on to a problem and hang on to it until I've solved it. It proves very useful when there are problems that plague a project, but nobody else seems to be able to track down. On the other hand, I sometimes don't let go of things quickly enough. I said before that I might make a good manager. What has happened in the past is that they don't make me a manager, but assign me one who doesn't really know what he's doing, and I wind up managing "by remote control." (I tell the manager what needs to be done, when, and how long it will/should take.)
I have been told that I am a very good judge of character--that I "read&" people well. That's true as long as there is not something romantic involved, where a lot of that initially tends to get bypassed as hormones have their effect. But soon enough, I will see through a charade even then.
I had a girlfriend who initially passed herself off successfully as someone she was not, but then I started to notice inconsistencies in her stories. I did some investigation and it all ended when I turned her in on an outstanding warrant. As I said, I tend to have difficulty in the romantic arena--either I meet women who are too sensitive, too liberal, too wishy-washy, or are just flat-out gold-diggers who see this engineer who does well for himself as an easy target (boy are they surprised when I see through that). I am constantly frustrated when I see women fawning all over fake guys--you other INTJs know the type: the jock / jerk / used-car-salesman type. I'm just left standing there thinking "why can't she see through all that BS?" I used to chalk that up to "I don't understand women." I think now, however, it's more likely that "I don't understand people who cannot see the obvious." A woman I met one time commented on how I (at that time 26 years old) seemed to"have it all together" better than most people twice my age. Another commented once that I was "so cynical for someone your age." (My response, in my dry engineer wit: "Wait'll I get to 50...")
I'm not as bad of a person as this all makes me sound. Those who have actually made the effort to get to know me have found me to be a very caring and generous person who will do all kinds of favors for my friends. Most of the time, once they get to know me, they comment on how good of a conversationalist or listener I am. (Translation: I let people talk about themselves. That makes me a "good listener' and because people like to talk about themselves, they remember me as a "good conversationalist." Try it sometime.)
I am not a socialite. Parties stress me out. I have a few very good friends, and that's it. I like to have a few people over and entertain--but more than 5 or 6 people, and I want to find a corner and something to read. People tell me I need to "open up" more. I want to tell them "but I don't know how!" I do feel that the vast majority of people do not understand me or how I feel. My parents think they understand me, but I really don't think they understand me as well as they think they do. There were some really tumultous times when I was a teenager because of this. The thing is, I really don't care that people don't understand me except that (a) I'd like to find my soul-mate, and they *must* understand me on a deep level; (b) they might not label me with such negative labels if they only understood.
I'm sorry this was such a rambling essay. For once, I have just written things down as they came to me, without much editing. Enjoy--it's a rarity for me.
