For the introvert, mental health IS physical health. This is not to be confused with the school of thought, mostly proposed by the 70% extroverts who don't understand us, that we are mentally ill.

I believe that this particular confusion comes from the fact that when extroverts are stressed, they "act out". They scream and holler, hit the panic button, throw things, even drink, smoke or grab a gun. Although this behavior is greatly to be frowned on and is indeed self destructive to the extreme, it is not considered "mentally ill".

When introverts are stressed, we reduce stimuli since the stimulation of people and things is what stresses us most. We may take off our clothes, darken the room, listen to soothing music or stare "blankly" into space. These are things we do to restore our balance. This behavior is negatively interpreted by extroverts as neuroticism or depression. After all, just the mere thought of "withdrawing" strikes terror in the heart of the average extrovert.

Having set this part of the issue to the side, introverts are not mentally ill. We are not neurotic. We naturally recoil from the stimulation of people and things in the same way that extroverts naturally gravitate toward them. You've heard the saying, one's man meat is another man's poison.

Stimuli stress introverts. In addition to that, when we interact with others, we give energy. Extroverts receive energy. Most doctors today know that stress is related to disease. When our bodies are too stressed, we run out of the things that allow it to constantly fight off diseased conditions which it normally does by nature.

As an intuitive healer, I know that disease actually begins with a thought and works its way down in to the body in physical symptoms. But stress is still the culprit because it represents in its own way one of the imbalances which the disease or condition is trying to correct. The psyche goes for balance or whole-ness whether the conscious mind cooperates or not.

The natural result of this process for an introvert who is too busy and too stressed is that the body will arrange for them to get the time alone they need. Here are some of the ways: broken foot, ankle or leg, chronic fatigue syndrome, lupus, migraine headaches, irritable bowel syndrome, long viral infection or pneumonia ... you can complete the list. My question to you as an intuitive healer is this. Wouldn't you rather recognize your legitimate need as an introvert and take the time you need than have your body solve the problem other ways?

These are the most pressing legitimate needs of the introvert: privacy and quiet.

Stress is a big problem for introverts because we endure so much of it. Just getting out in the world is stressful for us because "the world" is designed by and for extroverts. Extroverts love noise, excitement, crowds and social interaction. Consider a trip to Disneyland. Or a day at the mall. Imagine a fraternity party, the "Pep Club" or a Caribbean cruise. Who makes up these abominations but extroverts?

Introverts run in the other direction, by the legitimate needs of their nature, to quiet pastures, walks with the dog, reading a good book, unwinding in a room with the door closed, writing in a journal or a thought-full email to a trusted friend at the end of the day, possibly taking in a cultural event where there is a minimum of interaction with others.

Instead we wait in long lines at the grocery where extroverts annoy us with their cell phones or small talk. We sit in long lines of traffic with noise and air pollution or ride buses with boom boxes and more cell phones. We endure ½ hour conversations with bored extroverted baby sitters when we pick up our kids. Is it any wonder that introverts become stressed when so many of the things we deal with during the day are designed to please our Evil Twins? Well, what can we do about this? Here are some true life examples of introverts who are coping in different way with these issues.

Example 1:

Diana is an introvert, though she is just becoming aware of this as a legitimate personality type. Diana is very driven. She is a litigation attorney. Litigation is an aggressive and confrontational enterprise. Diana works in a small firm with other aggressive personalities, most of whom are dysfunctional. Her boss is an alcoholic womanizer.

Diana has been on several medications for depression and suffers from insomnia. She has been going to a wholistic practitioner for several years and has been weaned from her medicines. She was recently in a bad car accident and suffers from eye and neck problems with some loss of memory. In my experience, a car accident is a sure sign to slow down.

Diana is looking for a better work environment, which is positive, but in doing so, she has decided she must network. After long, grueling days at work in a hostile environment, she now spends what little spare time she has left going to various meetings, fundraisers and social gatherings which are an overwhelming experience to her as they are to most introverts. By the way, introverts can find ways to network that work. Visit my website for tips and information. I would say that Diana is probably going from the frying pan into the fire.

Example 2:

Nora is an introvert who worked for a major law firm in the downtown area. It was rare that she worked less than a 50+ hour week. She was also raising a child by herself. At work she interacted constantly with her boss, his clients and others in the office. Her boss started his own law firm and she became the office manager. Now her position was like the hub of the wheel. She also interacted constantly with the other attorneys and associates, salespeople, telephone system and computer analysts and caterers for the many lunches and dinners the firm sponsored. Nora had a great personality (introverts shouldn't leave home without one ... just don't take it seriously!).

After ten years, Nora's hair was starting to fall out in clumps on her pillow. She gnashed her teeth at night. She developed a nervous tic in one eye. She was so exhausted by Friday evening that she had to take off all her clothes and lie down on the bed in complete darkness for several hours to restore some sense of well being. When she heard a police siren go by she shook for several minutes and couldn't seem to control this "over reaction" to loud noises. Practically all she did on the weekend was sleep. Nora also had a series of small fender benders under unusual circumstances over a period of 4 years.

Nora knew she wouldn't be alive much longer if she didn't reduce the stress in her life. She prepared for a career in the wholistic health field. Although this put additional burdens on her at first, she stretched the training out over several years and just the hope of getting into a more supportive environment alleviated some of her stress.

When Nora left her job, her income dropped in 1/3 but she also did not have to pay for fancy clothes, parking, dining out and other accoutrements of a downtown high stress environment.

Nora works alone now and for herself. She interacts with clients in an environment where she controls the time and extent of the visit. She screens her calls heavily, making use of Voice Mail so that she never hears a person's voice and has many hours of quiet during the day until she chooses to return her calls. Nora allows herself many hours of solitude each day as well. She takes walks during the day and if she becomes too stressed, she can reschedule some of her appointments and take care of herself. Nora tells me she has never felt this good in her whole life, even as a kid. All her symptoms have disappeared.

Example 3:

Becky is a second generation holocaust survivor. She is the delegated torch bearer in the family, the one who bears the brunt of the psychological and emotional hardship her parents experienced. Both were in concentration camps.

Becky's mother is a total loss as a person. She has suffered chronically from the physical, emotional and mental abuses of the horrifying conditions she encountered as a girl in Nazi Germany. Becky's father has many good qualities, not the least of which is that he was able to come to America with practically nothing and build a very good living for his family. But he has severe psychological problems as a result of his background and is a very difficult man to deal with. Most people will do anything to get rid of him and he uses this to manipulate in business deals.

After he gets his deals to the point of rage or outrage, Becky's father wants her to step in and "interpret" for him, read documents, write letters, make phone calls and other things. His business world is full of the loathing and self hatred he exudes and it is a very unpleasant experience for Becky, who is an introvert.

Becky has developed an elaborate set of symptoms. I have worked with her as a healer for many years and I notice that when her father has left her alone long enough, she will begin to feel "fine". When he reenters the picture, her symptoms kick up: diarrhea, rashes, agoraphobia, fibromyalgia, funguses, growths, food allergies, pollen and mold allergies, allergies to such things as nail polish remover and furniture polish and noise sensitivities. Whereas these are characteristic bodily reactions of introverts to outside stress, Becky is also highly suggestible. When she reads something new on the internet, she will ask me if that is "what she has". I call her my Designer Condition Client.

I have assured Becky from the moment we met that she is whole and healed and it is my undying hope that she will one day see that there are better ways to get the privacy and boundaries she needs than to experience such discomfort in her own body. In the meantime, her behavior ensures that she will not have to leave her apartment or live with anyone and it keeps to a minimum the amount of interaction she has with her father.

Introverts have two primary needs: privacy and quiet. Please take good care of yourself and see that you get as much of this as possible. Most of us feel that introverts need to spend at least half their time alone each day to be in optimal health. Take what you need!

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WHAT NANCY'S READERS HAVE SAID:

5.15.2005 Thank you so much for these articles.  I found the site on a day when I had to apologize to co-workers at my new place of employment once again for my behavior.  I am a 52 year old female who has always been made to feel that there was something wrong with me, and many have tried to force me to be extraverted.  Many of the things I read I knew, but some of the characteristics I thought were mine alone.  I was feeling so bad today, once again, and thought that there was something wrong with me.  This site has given me a better understanding of who I am, and that perhaps I'm okay after all.   Thank you again so very much.

- Paula

© nancy r. fenn