Introverts are great listeners, readers and writers. The Internet was invented just for Introverts! The only thing they dont do well -- and this is a big one -- is verbal communication.

Most introverts dislike talking and even have a violent aversion to small talk. Approach these people respectfully and come to the point as quickly as possible. If you can, let them know a few hours or a day in advance that you would like to talk to them. Don't expect them to answer the phone. That's right. Don't be insulted if you get an answering machine. Introverts are not rude or reclusive, they just hate to be caught unprepared.

Above all else, if the door is closed, don't go in. And don't knock if you can come back some other time. Introverts can be downright violent if they are interrupted. Their speciality is weaving information together in a contemplative and creative manner. If you interrupt this process, you annoy them vexaciously while at the same time aborting the results of this inquiry which might have been to your business and personal advantage.

If you want to get your point across to an introvert, put it in writing even if you have to go out of your way to find an excuse for writing it! Don't expect an immediate response. Give them plenty of time to think about it. If possible, wait until they bring it up themselves even if it takes a week.

Now that eMail exists, take advantage of this opportunity to send emails to your favorite introvert! They will appreciate it more than you can imagine.

If an introvert writes something to you rather than saying it, don't be insulted. This is their preferred means of communicating.

Introverts are excellent listeners. They really take the time to tune in and they aren't just using the spaces as a way to frame their next comment about themselves! Most introverts will not interrupt or rush an answer. Don't assume because they are quiet, that they agree with you. This is a serious error. If it's important, ask them point blank what they are thinking. Then be prepared to wait as long as it takes for an answer (sometimes a day or two). Wait patiently and politely. This is called giving someone else 'space'.

Good luck getting the best out of the introverts on your personal team, be it business or personal!

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WHAT NANCY's READERS HAVE SAID:

3.26.2006 This is good stuff. I'm thinking of sending this to everyone I know.
I get all kinds of harassment for not answering my phone, but if an introvert isn't in the mood to talk there's no sense in forcing the issue right? We'll just be distant. Cool article, thanks for posting it.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.  People don't understand my aversion to phones except when it comes to my children.  Others, give me email any day.  And interruptions when I'm thinking?  Horrors!! I might just bite your head off in my mind, tho' I'll be "nice but distracted" on the outside.  OBVIOUSLY, I have SOMETHING on my mind.  How good it is to be understood and called "OK".  And space, yes, space.  Luckily, I'm married to a wonderful man who doesn't mind when I take two days to myself to go away to a mountain village for awhile.  As a high school teacher, I've done well, but it's definitely cost me mentally for you are NEVER alone to just think, and kids need lots of attention.  I'm retiring soon.  I think I want to just hide in a library!! 

© nancy r. fenn