Read other articles like this by real introverts ... talking about what it's like to discover you're an introvert and how it happened for you! ... coming soon
Have you come out? What was it like? How does it feel? PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF YOU'D LIKE TO CONTRIBUTE AN ARTICLE IN YOUR OWN WORDS! Most of my readers say these are the most helpful items on the site ... when someone else puts into words what you've been thinking all this time. Give it a try and help someone else come out.
JOHN's STORY
JOHN begins his story like this.
As far as my name lets just keep it as "John". My age
is 26 and i am INFJ.
Reflections of an Introvert
Ever since I was small I have been introverted. As it has been said by many experts I too feel I am swimming in a sea of extroverted people. I have a sister and she is the complete opposite of me. She is the people person, loud, and socializes well the opposite of me. It’s been a journey with a lot of bumps but I am learning as my life goes on. I am going to share my views and experiences on things that I have experienced growing up on the introverted side of the fence.
I have never really gotten a lot out of being extroverted too much. It drains me and I rather save my energy than just waste it talking about nothing. I tend to listen completely when I am in a conversation with another person. I let them finish before I say something back to them. We live in world of talkers yet few of us can truly listen. At times overhearing people talk makes me wonder if the person is really saying anything. Out of an hour long discussion maybe 20 minutes of it had actual worth. I find it very interesting when there are several people in discussion that I am in and the person makes this statement, “Well you are awful quiet”. Then when they ask my opinion they are shocked when I say something that has a lot of value. That has always been something I have strived for to have and do things that have value.
Having my space is a very important thing to me. A lot of times when being out and around people this can lead to a lot of inconvenience and aggravation. People tend to get too close and just come into a person space regardless. I have often moved myself to another place to make room if I am being crowded. Standing in lines can be the worse part of it. People tend to get so close that they brush you almost touching you. I have gotten in the habit of turning around looking at something so the the person behind me will back up and give space. I will not eat at restaurants if they are too crowded full of people. I will go to another place to eat if they are to full of people besides why eat if you can’t be comfortable. Basically if I don’t have enough space to be comfortable, I will make space for myself. Big crowds can be annoying so I tend to avoid them if necessary. The lack of space, the noise, and people moving here and there usually can tire me out.
Being able to have time to myself is very important to me. After being around crowds I need to get away to recharge others I start feeling antsy and tired. I sometimes will leave unexpectedly if something doesn’t feel right about a situation or just too much stimulation going on in the environment. As with space I give people time to do things. I do not expect them to do things with me if they are busy with things. If I am out it is usual at a place where there isn’t too much commotion and I can a little place to just sit and think about things. When it gets too noisy that I can hear my own thoughts is time to leave. If it is needed I don’t mind being in a crowded place, but all the time is something that will not happen with me. If I don’t have some time to myself during the day I will feel bad or uptight about things.
I have a small group of friends that I talk too. Back when I was in high school I thought I had to increase the number of friends I had. Now it is a smaller group of friends that make me feel comfortable. Usually the people I call friends have a very good understanding of my characteristics. For example during one late night on a weekend we headed into a late night eating establishment. Once we got in we noticed it was very crowded with people. My friend turns to me and says, “Want to look for another place to eat?” So we found another place that wasn’t as crowded and we had food. Bringing up the subject of space I respect my friend’s space. I don’t call them at all times during the day and demand their attention. They give me my space and I return that favor. I have to see that trust is there and that is will develop into something real in the friendship. Trust and sincerity are real to me and if I don’t see its there I don’t mind knowing you but you aren’t considered a real friend.
As far as relationships go I haven’t had that many dates so far. I have had several but they haven’t really been much of anything. I guess the whole game of it all is something I just don’t quite yet. At times it seems like it leads to more frustration than anything. I have met people that are cool and worth to get to know. Time will come as far as the dating issue so I am not going to push it too hard. Just seems a lot of my peers are into that scene too much. For now I just rather spend my time on things that are enjoyable instead of worry about it.
That has been my views on some of things I have experience from an introverts perspective. I feel it is just as valid enough though today’s world put so much interest in the extroverts. The world at times presses us to follow certain beliefs and thoughts. It is to each person interest to truly question things and find it is for them or are they just following an ideology for no reason. Too many stereotypes have been brought up about introverts. We could follow that same thing and say there are equally amount of things about the extrovert. To a certain degree we are “who we are” even though we change throughout our lifetime.
