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The Rose Elf [read the fairy tale here] see paintings of Isabella and her Pot painting by William Holman Hunt painting by John White Alexander Keat's poem painting by Millais close up of Isabella and her brother I was brought up in a rational family, where everything irrational was regarded as fantasy, illusion, or at the best, innocent game for children. I always loved books and my mother was buying me them with special care, not to disturb my small world with "adult problems" - evil, fear, death and pain. As most of other parents, also mine thought that if they had pretended in front of me that the evil does not exist, it disappeared and I would not see it until I would reach certain age. They still do not know how mistaken they were at that times. Since my very early age, I was sensitive to my environment to such an extent, that I quickly overlooked the protective atmosphere my parents wanted to create for me. My first memory is when I was three years old, walking with my mother from kindergarten. I was walking, holding her hand and feeling sadness from her side and I felt it myself so intensively as if I was her. I asked her openly why she was so sad and what had happened. She looked at me, smiled and said that it was not true, she was not sad and nothing had happened at all. In her smile I could read, that she considered me too little to understand her sadness. It was the first time when I discovered, that behind the words, there's another world with its own, deeper truth. I experienced this kind of discrepancy between external, polished reality and the true reality hidden behind it many times after that first experience. It seemed to me that all people around me were doing it - feeling something and pretending something else: My parents having problems in their relationship, neighbours quarrelling behind their doors, kids torturing frogs and cats, kindergarten teacher pretending she enjoyed playing with children but did not, my grandmother telling me that the cat which died in front of my eyes did not die, but was only sleeping. I was so confused from it all that I sank to my own secret world and stopped asking adults my questions. I knew they would not tell me the truth anyway. The books were my only oasis of clarity, because they contained their own, definite worlds. Soon I started to distinguish which books I liked and which ones I did not like. To my parent's shock, I preferred books with old fairy tales full of dark stories. Those were the old books from my grandparents' house, published at the beginning of 20th century, uncensored by modern psychologists and therefore full of blood, suffering, some of them had even bad endings! My mother tried to accept my preferences, but refused to read me some of the stories, which seemed to her too cruel and unsuitable for such a little girl. One of those forbidden stories was Hans Christian Andersen´s The Elf of the Rose [read the fairy tale here]. Since as a 5 years old girl I could not read yet, I was constantly asking my older cousin to read it for me. I was listening to it with pleasant feelings of something far away but well known to me, as if I were coming home. This fairy tale seemed to me real and I could easily identify with the princess in the story. I was amazed that some other person - even only in a book - can perceive the world similar way I did. Remembering dreams, searching for visions and symbols and uncovering their meanings, listening to silence in an empty house and deciphering what the creak of the old wooden door means, what are the trees whispering outside. Enjoying various scents of flowers and silently wondering about their ability to be so solid and at the same time short lived after they were brought from outside and put to the vase. "Alas, how soon all that is good and beautiful passes away", sighed the Elf. * The story describes deep love between young man and the lady. In unreal, glossy world, all such stories must end with wedding and then the pair is living happily ever after. Infps do know, that it is not always true. They know that there is not white without black, light without dark and that the evil is not only an abstract term for crazy amateur philosophers. They see the evil presents itself in very concrete form in everyday life and is closely intertwined with suffering and pain. They refuse not to see it; because they also feel its part deep inside and they know that even when they close their eyes, ears and pretend it does not exist, it will not disappear. When the princess found a withered leaf on her bed, she did not throw it away as the "fantasy". She could not, because she was in deep connection with her own truth and could see the reality, secret connections behind the things. Her intuition and instincts were telling her clearly, that the dream she had had was true, however horrible it seemed. It would have been much more comfortable for her to forget everything and force herself to believe, that her lover is somewhere behind the hills, thinking about her. She had the power to go to the woods at night and look at the worst nightmare changing from suspicion to palpable reality, as she was removing the old leaves, turning the earth up, finding that her lover was there, dead. However unpleasant it looks, that she took his head home with her, this weird action has its deep meaning. The love between the lady and young man was exceptional, pure and deep. All what was most precious for her was connected with his head when he was alive - his thoughts the quality of which she was feeling intensely when they were together, his soul that was looking at her through his dear eyes, words-Logos which was emanating from his lips. Infps do not bond with others easily, most of the time they enjoy their solitude, withdrawn from the outside world, but once they find their kindred spirit, the bond is eternal and lasts forever. The lady could not just leave the body there, in the morning go to the town and find another man. Infps, as she was, are different. She still could feel the invisible traces of warmth of his beloved on the cold skin, dirty hair, therefore she took the head home and made secret grave for it in the pot. Infps are intuitive, empathic, sensitive and these gifts enable them not to be naive. They do not share what they see with just anybody, that's why the lady did not say a word to her brother about what she's found in the wood. She had to feel the evil in her brother long ago. After the murder she was only crying that the evil has manifested itself in the most painful way for her. She was not naive to believe, that her brother loved her dearly and she did not wonder why he was scolding her for crying over the pot. Infps have their own reasons why they are doing and feeling certain things their own way, they got used to the fact that they stand out from the crowd. However, I regard this fairy tale as a story with its own happy ending. The lovers meet in heaven, in their real home, far away from this world where the evil always lurks behind the corner. And the murder was revenged, because "behind the smallest leaf dwells the One, who can discover evil deeds, and punish them also".* Infps do not want to take responsibility to their own hands and hurt anybody in revenge. They instinctively, surely, know that there's strict, just cosmic order, karma law that takes care of all which goes astray. Infps only feel that it is their duty, mission in their life to help to show others how beautiful this world could be, if people have only found the courage to look the evil in the eyes and win the battle with their own evil. In old times, children lived with their large families and from their early age they were undergoing all variety of experiences: mother's births, father's physical exhaustion from daily hard work, death of a sibling, grandparents serious illnesses. Even in aristocratic families, people were dying in their homes and children, together with others, went to their beds and were watching as a member of their family died. At present, all the suffering and dying is being moved to sterile hospitals, depressed people are prescribed pills and are forbidden to show their unhappiness openly, otherwise it is a faux pas. There's a danger living like this: If we show our children only sweet, censored Disney's world, they will not learn empathy, understanding for other person's suffering, they will not experience both sides of a coin, all variety of emotions which belong to life. Contemporary fairy tales are often meaningless stories full of nice colours, pretending that the life is always good, whatever happens, and that nobody needs to take responsibility for his/her deeds. They remind me of candy - packed in attractive wrapper, with good taste, addictive, but with no real benefit for physical body. Contemporary fairy tales have similar effect - they do not feed and benefit the soul, they are offering only the illusion, escape from reality. If my parents were not trying to hide dark side of the life from me, perhaps I would not feel so isolated from them. It is useless to try to create unreal "always good world", hide books and true feelings. Infps know anyway, they learn to read, find all hidden books and always feel what people are feeling, who they really are. *Quotation is from the Andersen´s fairy tale The Elf and The Rose Andrea Jurik

The author of this article is Slovakian and currently living with her husband in Europe.

See other articles in the series:

• In the Absence of Good and Evil by Audra
• You Definitely Have Me Thinking ... by Jane Mullikin, the awesome webmistress of SpiritualSisters and Spirit
• Good and Evil by Princess M
• Vision for Healing by Kati

Are you an infp?
Would you consider writing your own article on this topic?

Complete definition of the infp type introvert from Keirsey.com Please visit www.keirsey.com for more complete information about all personality types, including the eight different types of introverts. Keirsey calls the infp, "The Healer".

"Healer Idealists are abstract in thought and speech, cooperative in striving for their ends, and informative and introverted in their interpersonal relations. Healers present a seemingly tranquil, and noticiably pleasant face to the world, and though to all appearances they might seem reserved, and even shy, on the inside they are anything but reserved, having a capacity for caring not always found in other types. They care deeply -- indeed, passionately -- about a few special persons or a favorite cause, and their fervent aim is to bring peace and integrity to their loved ones and the world.

"Healers have a profound sense of idealism derived from a strong personal morality, and they conceive of the world as an ethical, honorable place. Indeed, to understand Healers, we must understand their idealism as almost boundless and selfless, inspiring them to make extraordinary sacrifices for someone or something they believe in. The Healer is the Prince or Princess of fairytale, the King's Champion or Defender of the Faith, like Sir Galahad or Joan of Arc. Healers are found in only 1 percent of the general population, although, at times, their idealism leaves them feeling even more isolated from the rest of humanity.?

STATEMENT IN REFERENCE ABOUT GOOD AND EVIL

"Healers seek unity in their lives, unity of body and mind, emotions and intellect, perhaps because they are likely to have a sense of inner division threaded through their lives, which comes from their often unhappy childhood. Healers live a fantasy-filled childhood, which, unfortunately, is discouraged or even punished by many parents. In a practical-minded family, required by their parents to be sociable and industrious in concrete ways, and also given down-to-earth siblings who conform to these parental expectations, Healers come to see themselves as ugly ducklings. Other types usually shrug off parental expectations that do not fit them, but not the Healers. Wishing to please their parents and siblings, but not knowing quite how to do it, they try to hide their differences, believing they are bad to be so fanciful, so unlike their more solid brothers and sisters. They wonder, some of them for the rest of their lives, whether they are OK. They are quite OK, just different from the rest of their family-swans reared in a family of ducks. Even so, to realize and really believe this is not easy for them. Deeply committed to the positive and the good, yet taught to believe there is evil in them, Healers can come to develop a certain fascination with the problem of good and evil, sacred and profane. Healers are drawn toward purity, but can become engrossed with the profane, continuously on the lookout for the wickedness that lurks within them. Then, when Healers believe thay have yielded to an impure temptation, they may be given to acts of self-sacrifice in atonement. Others seldom detect this inner turmoil, however, for the struggle between good and evil is within the Healer, who does not feel compelled to make the issue public." [the end]

Most infps I talk to relate to these statements immediately? How about you? What do you think? Please express your opinion, anonymously or in an essay or article.

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