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My
experience of being introverted by KAREN
The more I learn about INFP traits, the more validated I feel about my own self knowledge. Realizing that an introvert simply Processes and gathers their quality energy- alone, as opposed to the extravert who requires other people to gather theirs’, makes so much sense. This new knowledge, garnered approximately 10 years ago, has aided in my work, my relationships and my recovery. I suspect many INFP’s have also used drugs and alcohol to medicate their frustrations; gathering more energy than we naturally have, or to dissipate energy that has reached overabundant levels.
Now I watch my energy and have determined I have an approximate 2 hour window of super vitality which I can utilize professionally (as a part-time social worker and artist), or in the company of what I call “normys.” For example, tomorrow I’ll be leading an introduction activity for a group- (1 hour), and then discussing some Meyer’s Briggs results over lunch – (1 hour). Co-facilitating is key for me, as I detest speaking in front of people. When I find myself asked to lead entire activities, I tell them, “I’ll do my part.”
In the past, as middle management in a medical facility, I played the person who “put out all the fires,” as liaison between patients, families, staff and administration. I burned out. Rather than 40 hours a week, I now volunteer for one social service non-profit. I prefer working behind the scenes, and disdain being in the limelight. The few times my work has pushed me there, I became ill with stage fright, even though I’d pulled it all together and was completely knowledgeable of my subject matter.
When I’m in a social group and become very involved in conversation I feel on top of the world. Then when I begin to feel over stimulated, I begin hearing less of what others are saying, what I’ve heard described as “flooding”. Now I know it’s OK. I don’t have to completely disconnect, but can begin exiting center stage or simply say, “I’ve got some things to do, I’ll catch you guys later. Great to see you.” I call it hitting my wall.
While on trips with my partner, if his talking seems to become endless, I can tell him nicely, “I’m hitting my wall now. If you don’t mind I need to take 5 minutes out to disconnect. I’m really refueling. Five to ten minutes is generally all it takes. If I don’t listen to that inner voice, I may find myself in a foolish argument. My partner has come to respect this boundary.
I also have little tolerance for television. Occasionally it’s good to simply vegetate, but more often I prefer a quiet activity. I usually feel television to be an intrusion or even an assault on my peace of mind. In fact most of what I hear on the news, feels like none of my business. But that’s probably another article.
I’m now developing myself as an art quilter and find it suits my temperament to a tee. I eventually plan to get a Web site as well as sell through local venders. I’m fortunate to live in an area with plenty of small artsy communities. I also enjoy writing poetry, articles and stories. I look forward to hearing from other INFP’s about your stories, struggles and successes.
Karen, LCSW
