So maybe today I'm half and half, half an extrovert, half an introvert.  -- Martha

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From “Martha”

 

I'm not even sure I am an introvert.  I used to say I was an introverted extrovert, someone whose natural inclination was to be friendly and extroverted, but who was (obviously unintentionally) trained to suppress my outgoing nature.

 

Growing up in a complicated family, we (my three sisters and I) were expected to do well in school and did, but I pretty much alone of the four fell through the cracks when it came to self confidence being encouraged.  I was looked at strangely when I tried to practice social skills when at home, the light touch we all want to have, and very quickly developed the habit of thinking "I must have said something wrong again."  It didn't take long before I was embarrassed and afraid to try out my "light touch" even in public.

 

It took much counseling, a heavy reliance on faith, and a lot of time alone to do the thinking I needed to do to get me to value my accomplishments and myself too.  As a long time divorced parent of three grown children and grandmother to ten children from 3 to 18 years, I still need time for introspection, maybe always will, but I also need connection with people and get rejuvenated when it happens.  Thank goodness it does happen.

 

So maybe today I'm half and half, half an extrovert, half an introvert.  Anyway, I like who I am and am finding that I also like my "light touch."

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