A pivotal moment came for me several years ago when I attended an open networking event. I had been getting email information about this regularly occurring social event for months, but had always found a reason not to attend, until one dreadful day. My boss came in to my office and asked if I had ever made it to the event.
“Ugh!” I thought to myself. I told my boss that I hadn’t had a chance, and he then requested that I go. We needed to meet new people and had to grow the business, there “would be good prospects there” he said. “OK” I thought to myself, “how bad could it be?” With that little kick I had the motivation, and I agreed that I would go that night, and so I stuffed my pockets full of business cards, and set out. I was determined to go out there and make some new contacts!
I arrived that evening, got my name tag, found a drink and found my corner, (you know the one, kind-of in the back, away from the crowd, near something interesting to look at…) I proceeded to stand in that corner then transition to another corner, carefully examine the artwork, get another drink, read a brochure and then leave. I was there for about an hour and did not meet anyone—not one single person, didn’t even make eye contact! I left in despair, frustrated with myself, and disappointed that I had both wasted my time, and not had the “guts” to meet anyone. I swore that I would never attend another business networking event and not do any networking.
This scenario played out over and over again throughout my career. I knew that I needed to network, but those kinds of networking events just did not work for me. I recognized the value in creating a group of valued friends, advisors, and business associates. But I was unable to build my network much beyond my immediate family and a few close friends, (most of whom I would never have considered actually asking a business related question).
I tried several other avenues for business networking, including joining professional organizations and volunteer groups. My hope was that these more structured groups would afford me the opportunities I was seeking. Again I found that while there were plenty of events and lunches to attend, I still shied away from networking—and meeting new people.
Two things happened almost at once for me. The first was that I had had enough with boring lunches that I left without a single new contact, and the second was that I was invited to a formal business networking group.
I took the membership book from one of my groups and began to call the people in the group to setup one-on-ones. I also began attending BNI, (Business Network International). These two steps took me from my desperation and frustration and lifted me up. They began to rebuild my self-confidence, and my network began to grow. And subsequently my business also began to grow.
Business Networking is important. It continues to bring people together, and assist businesses. Not all sales people are extroverts, and introverts can, and do make great sales people and business owners! You may be a sales person, or you have been put in the role of a salesperson. You may work for a small company that needs every employee to represent it and bring in new business to succeed. Perhaps you are in a larger company, trying to stand out in a crowd of other eager employees. Or you may be a business owner, or sole proprietor who must take on a variety of roles, including sales. No matter how you come to believing as I did, the need and value for business networking, I guarantee you will you get out of it what you put in—and often more!
Whatever your motivation for improving your network and overcoming the hurdles of being shy, your success is ultimately determined by your ability to recognize that you are strong enough to put yourself out there, and take a chance. You may be the only one who will ever know that you are shy or uncomfortable, and need to recognize that you may “fit” better in some places than others. Furthermore, there is strength that can be gained from being uncomfortable and getting through the situation! Take a chance, stand up and give that presentation, say “hi” to a stranger, go to an event you are uncomfortable at, or find a group where you can feel comfortable… eventually it does get easier, and even, (you have to trust me on this!) a little fun. Good Luck.
