Which
boy is the introvert?
I
asked these three adorable little guys here to model
for me about introversion and introverted children.
30% of the people in the world are introverts. 33
1/3% of the people in this photo are introverts. Introversion
is a legitimate personality style. Are you wondering
what it means to be an introvert? Wondering if you're
an introvert? Or your child?
If
you want to know, you can take a self-test for free
at www.keirsey.com
but your child can't! Let's learn more about how to
recognize the characteristics of introversion with
the help of these boys. Have you guessed which one
is the introverted child?
Intensity
If you guessed the boy on the right, you're correct.
The boy on the right is the introvert. There are several
ways you can tell. First is the intensity of his stare.
Already he is showing the introvert's ability to focus.
While his little pals are hamming it up, he's intent
upon something.
Self
Awareness
Secondly, the boy on the right is staring right at
the person taking the picture. Try this. Look at the
boy and see ... he's staring right back at you.Try
it with the other two and see the difference. Rather
than acting because he's in front of a camera, the
introverted boy ignores the camera completely and
looks right at you.
The
Warren Buffett Touch
This ability to "ignore things" that extroverts
are distracted by or reactive to is a strong characteristic
for success in introversion. Warren Buffett, the world's
greatest investor and an introvert, has given this
advice to wouldbe investors, "As far as you are
concerned, the stock market does not exist. Ignore
it." [He has called the stock market "manic
depressive".] Like Warren Buffett, the little
boy is ignoring a great deal of the distractions around
him and concentrating on the photographer.
Integrity,
Integrated Sense of Self
This also shows another introvert characteristic.
With a strong sense of self, introverts are not easily
swayed by others' opinions. Introversion can seem
like a disadvantage during the teen years, when socializing
is so important. But it can be a great advantage as
your introverted teen can stand alone against the
crowd. S/he can resist peer pressure including dating
too soon, trying drugs and alcohol, smoking and other
events where teens feel peer pressure.
Introverts
don't care what others think about them. Their focus
is within. They have a natural integrity, an integrated
sense of self which is hard-won with extroverts. Introverts
may be taught to feel bad about themselves in a society
or family that thinks being the life of the party
is a thrill or a necessity. But within themselves,
they know who they are. This is why the pressure to
turn an introverted child into an extrovert is so
harmful. There is a big price to pay for this later
on in terms of stress and stress related illness.
Giving
Energy
Another characteristic ... can you see that the boy
on the right is giving energy? If you can't
tell this yet, by the end of the page, you should
be a lot better at noticing this. As an intuitive
and psychic, I teach people how to read energy like
this.
If you want to practice, try staring into each of
the faces. Your eye will rest on the third face, the
boy on the right, because you are filling up with
energy. This is why little introverted kids are exhausted
at the end of the day. Many people have drunk at the
well and they need to be alone to fill back up again.
Please, oh please, let your introverted child have
a room with a door that closes.
Let's
try with another photograph.
Which child is the introvert?
Introverts
Don't Act
Did you guess the one on the right? You may also be
noticing by now that introverts won't mug for the
camera. They won't mug for anybody! Introverts can
suffer in social situations because we don't have
a ready-made "persona" or "personality"
like a great big smile or eyes that sparkle with fire!
We don't have a naturally ready hand shake or even
a desire to cross the room and meet somebody new.
Introverts
don't have a costume or mask to wear in public but
we can get one. By the way, a personality is like
a costume or mask. It's not the spirit or the soul
of us, it's something we put on and can take off or
change, though many don't know this. In astrology,
we assume a new personality at 30 year intervals,
although this transit arrives at different times in
our lives. So, what every introvert needs is a persona
or personality to wear for the wedding, the school
photograph or the family reunion. Often we arrive
just the way we are. Is it any surprise we feel naked?
State Occasions and Public Appearances
I recommend inventing a Personality for State Occasions.
Introverts don't like to mess with unnecessary social
events so let's reserve Public Appearances for those
occasions where it is absolutely necessary. Then rehearse
with your child or for yourself how you will enter
the room, the minimum social niceties that are expected,
such as greeting the host/ess or shaking hands. Prepare
ahead of time a few social remarks and let it go at
that. Not our thing!
Example:
When you get to the birthday party, say hello to the
birthday person and their parent. Hand the child their
present and say Happy Birthday. When they say Thank
you, say You're welcome. If they don't say thank you,
skip this part. Then step back, look around the room,
and see what the other kids are doing. Decide what
you want to do and go in that direction. If nothing
seems interesting, sit politely and watch everybody
else. If anybody asks you what's wrong, say, Nothing's
wrong. I enjoy watching. When you leave the party,
be sure to say thank you to the child and their parent.
Hopefully there will be some interesting games or
activities but if not, it's just a few hours of your
life.
Now
take a look at another photo. Which girl is the introvert?
This
one is easy! Even their body language tells you. But
also notice how the little face in the background
pulls you into it. That's the energy-giving quality
of the introvert. The cute little girl who's hamming
it up in front is actually wanting energy or attention
not giving energy. To an introvert, almost every extrovert
is high-maintenance!
Here's
another.
This
is an interesting photo. It's a tough call, actually.
What do you think? Probably both girls are a little
bit introverted but the girl on the right is actively
feeding energy to the girl on the left. Notice her
focus as she looks at the friend and not at the camera.
Her body language echoes her giving quality. Not all
introverts are this expressive with hugs but this
girl looks like she comes from a warm, associative
cultural background.
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