TODAY'S QUESTION

From Geoffrey in the UK

"My challenge is this. I think that I may experience these feelings not because I am an introvert but because of conditioned fears. I am a Libra and great with people (others have commented!). I really come alive when talking to people one on one and I am witty and conversational in groups (although it gets uncomfortable). When I have had a few drinks I really love to be at parties and be around lots of people, but not comfortable until I have had those drinks! Could I be an extrovert with fears rather than an introvert? If so, rather than going with the introvert game plan, shouldn't I be dealing with those fears? Or am I an introvert and should be respecting that is just the way it is and implementing your game plan? The thought is that if I do the latter and I am really an extrovert with fears then I will be merely running or covering them up and limiting my life rather than dealing with them."

ANSWER

Dear Geoffrey:

Only you can know the answer for sure -- please come from inside with knowing the self -- but I'm pretty sure you're an introvert.

Have you taken the quick self test at www.keirsey.com? Let me know the results!

There are some pretty negative assumptions in your statement about what it means to be an introvert, like maybe you think introverts are losers.

Let's get up to speed on introversion. Introversion is a legitimate personality style. For example, we aren't limited in our lives, we have rich inner worlds. Please take some time to browse the site and enjoy the resources and articles. For many of us, the word introvert has had a negative connotation because we have let ourselves be defined by the 70% majority who are extroverts and don't understand us. They think we want to be like them and can't. They think we are failures because they don't understand we have a different orientation toward life, the world around us and our relationship to it and others. Baby extroverts move toward lights, sounds, motion and people. Baby introverts move away from these things.

News here! It was never our goal to be the life of the party. We have rich inner worlds. All those vivacious, outgoing high maintenance extroverts ... we're the ones who give them all that energy by listening to them and being their audience. We can relieve ourselves of some of this burden!

Please browse the site and learn more.

DO YOU HAVE A QUESTION FOR TODAY? Please contact Nancy for an online reply.