My
name is Robin and I am from Brighton, England and I am 16 years
old. I found this website when I was using google as a spell
check. It was quite strange reading the things that I had always
known, I think I have always known that I am an introvert, I
just didn't put two and two together. Not that it really matters
whether you know or not. I have always enjoyed being on my own
without the pressures of having to make conversation with someone
about something I didn't want to talk about. Don't get me wrong
I do enjoy having other peoples company it's just not always
my preferred option. I have always found that making small talk
with someone was particularly hard. Recently I have improved
this just to fend off those occasions when it is necessary and
just to make it easier for myself.
One
of the other reasons I improved it is so I can feel more at
ease talking to members of the opposite sex, which I have felt
that I am particularly bad at in the past. I still do not feel
totally at ease but I have felt that I have made progress. One
thing that I think some of my friends have felt is the old 'peer
pressure' to get girlfriends not that they didn't want to, just
they felt they needed to do it quickly in order to fit in. I
don't think I have never felt a need to please my friends or
impress them, although sometimes maybe I have inadvertently
impressed them. I have however felt a pressure from myself and
this has bought me down a lot recently, I have tried and been
unsuccessful. I think that waiting for 'someone special', although
it may be clichéd I think especially for introverts this
is important to remember. This is one of the main strengths
of the introverts they tend to be I think more loving and caring
because they know themselves better than extroverts who can
sometimes appear slightly 'fake' and like a charade because
most of them seem to have a kind of false confidence.
Through
the teenage years I think the social side of life is very important
for peoples development and general well being. Due to bullying
and peer pressure less confident people can feel pressured and
very small seeing other people who are much more confident than
themselves. One area I have seen this particularly, and I think
many teenagers will also be aware of this, is the pressure that
many teenagers exert on other teenagers to drink alcohol, smoke
cigarettes, take other drugs etc. Perhaps many do not do this
on purpose, just doing it around other people will make them
feel like they have to do whatever it is. As I said earlier
I never really feel any need to impress any or my friends, I
have, and do drink alcohol at social events and the like, perhaps
it has not been the wisest decision at times but at others it
has been very enjoyable. I do not however recommend it if you
are depressed (I learnt this the hard way) as alcohol is a depressant.
I have also tried smoking cannabis because I wanted to, it was
a nice feeling but I don't want to or feel the need to do it
again.
My
parents have generally been supportive of whatever I have done,
my dad is a typical 1950's child, he finds it very hard to show
what his true emotions are, which I don't, perhaps to easily
at times I tell everyone one how I am feeling but I think it
helps people understand my mood and what they should or shouldn't
do around me. The break up of my parents when I was 7 affected
me deeply and has contributed in shaping me into the way I am
today. I am glad that I am not too like my father. Although
I am not very keen on my stepmother she has taught me one valuable
lesson, family gatherings with many half-wit commoners are not
fun. These events are some of the worst times for me as well
as being dull and boring, there is always the pressure to talk
to chatty aunties and smelly grandmothers. I do not mean to
offend anyone with this; most of the people that I have met
at these gatherings have been extremely nice to me. I remember
one time at a wedding where I didn't want to really spend any
time with anyone else and ended up going for a very long walk
with my half brother who was 2 at the time. I found this much
easier than mingling with the other guests where I felt quite
stressed out. After my step mum came and confiscated him from
me I went and walked around the massive empty race course grand
stand (where it was being held) for a couple of hours winding
up sitting most of the time sitting a disused toilet.
I
think that there are many misconceptions about introverts; some
people I have met have treated it more like a dysfunctional
medical condition rather than a personality trait. There is
nothing wrong with being an introvert and no one should tell
you otherwise. But you should also not feel that you are better
than anyone else because of it. But if you are then except it
doesn't make you a worse or better person than anyone else.
Introverts have their weaknesses as well as their strengths.
No you may not be as confident as socially skilled or whatever
you don't think you are, but remember what you do have, if your
feeling down, listen to some music, write down your thoughts,
write a story, dance around, spend time with your pet, doing
whatever makes you feel good about yourself. Personally I have
started writing a lot of poetry, which I find concentrates my
mind and lets me express my feelings about anything I feel like.
Enjoy your life and shout at people who tell you when you're
feeling bad to think of all the people in the world that are
worse than you because it doesn't help a bit.
I'd
like to thank Sophie for listening to all the crap I have told
her and Tim for always trying to make me laugh. There are some
people I would like to hit but I shall not mention them as they
are crap and don't deserve it. Nancy your website is great and
has helped me a lot.
