Sensitive Dating

Dating can be a special challenge for introverts. Read more ...

"I would recommend it to anyone, but especially to introverts, who are often deep and complex people."

home

Dear Friend. Always remember what my grandmother Gertrude used to say, "Every pot has a lid."

INTROVERTS OUTNUMBER EXTROVERTS ON ONLINE DATING SITES 2 1/2 TO 1

That's almost an exact reversal of our distribution in the general population. The Internet works for us. We love the Internet! My mail ils full of good news from introverts like this one I received 9.29.2003 Please read this whole page and let me hear about your success in finding the right person! Order Dating Tips for Introverts for more introvert-specific information and inside tips.

TRUE ROMANCE STORY FROM AN INTROVERT I'LL CALL NATALIE

Sorry it has taken me so long to respond! I've been really busy with a lot of things, but one in particular will interest you.

I've met the most incredibly wonderful man online! I had a membership to eHarmony.com for two months (have let it expire since I met him), and that's where we met. I really like their system because it is so thorough. You have to fill out a questionnaire about yourself that takes 20-30 min. Then they send you matches, and you only have access to the people they send you. None of this browsing and picking and choosing for yourself based only on what someone writes in their profile or what their photo looks like. After that, there's a four-step process of guided questions (multiple choice and essay) and a list of 10 "must haves" and 10 "can't stands." It's very involved, but it lets you fiind out the important things - interests, values, beliefs, lifestyle, family, etc. - before you have open communication.

By that time, when it's the "one", you know it. I would recommend it to anyone, but especially to introverts, who are often deep and complex people. This system helps you get a glimpse of that depth and complexity, then lets you have fun exploring it together.

I feel so blessed to have found XXX!! (We're both the same astrology sign, by the way). As he has said, it's like I'm a male version of him, and he's a female version of me. We are so alike it's kind of scary, both in big things (like values, talents, the way we live, what we need in relationships, what we want in the future) and small things (foods we like, health issues, other quirks). I'm going to visit him for the first time on xxx (three weeks from today!). He just moved into a new house, so he's been pretty busy. But he's flying me down there and then (assuming all goes well, which we know it will), for Thanksgiving I'll fly down to xxx, he'll pick me up, then we'll drive 3 hours to his family's home in xxx. I'm so excited!!!

Anyway, I hope I've been able to help your research.

NOTE FROM NANCY: YES, NATALIE, YOU CERTAINLY HAVE! THANK YOU FOR SHARING THIS WITH US SO OTHER INTROVERTS CAN FIND THE SAME SUCCESS IN THEIR DATING PROCESS.

Here is an excerpt from my book, Dating Tips for Introverts, with some interesting information about online matchmaking.

The statistics for the TangoType, a representative online matchmaker where you enter your information according to your personality type, are kind of amazing. I(N)tuitives outnumber (S)ensors almost 7:1 (2,238:368) and (I)ntroverts outnumber (E)xtroverts about 2 ½ :1 (1,830:776).

Among introverts, the perhaps most introverted of all, INFP Healers, account for over 20% of members (while only 1% of the general population) and almost double any other category in number. The top three types using this site at the time this book was written (8.15.03) are:

INFP the Healer 547 (20%)
INTP the Architect 387 (15%), and
INTJ the Mastermind 369 (14%)

Another site that matches people by personality typing is eHarmony. This site has a personality inventory devised by Dr. Neil Clark Warren that everyone takes when signing up. Dr. Warren spent many years studying marriages and claims to have uncovered a set of principles that consistently appear in successful marriages. He developed a predictive model of compatibility using 29 dimensions that he found to correlate to marriage success and which this inventory tests for.

The cost of participating in this site for a month is modest ($49) and worth it. In doing research for my book, I logged on to the site for several weeks and was presented with very compatible partners, some of whom I am communicating with in an attempt to find out if we are more than casually interested.

Most introverts would be more successful if they approached dating as a project which they intend to complete successfully rather than an intimidating social and emotional experience. Pretend you are starting all over again deciding to do it "right this time". I recommend this approach because it will trigger all your best instincts and keep you working for yourself rather than against yourself. I'm assuming you've dated at least once before in your life, good, bad or indifferent.

MANLY ADVICE
If you're a man, we will assume that you will come up with a plan and a promise to begin asking people out on dates so you can practice.

If you think you're "hopelessly" shy, you stand an excellent chance of attracting someone on the opposite extreme. This is the law of physics, the law of nature and the law of attraction. Opposites attract. [excerpt from my eBook, Dating Tips for Introverts]

Here are some internet Dating Sites that I can recommend.

Socionics Dating
We offer an opportunity to find a true soulmate in a relationship of optimum compatibility. Unique dating and matchmaking service based on the "types". Log yourself in as a INTJ, INFP, etc.

TypeTango Myers Briggs MBTI Dating Personals - It Takes Type to Tango. Find your match by personality type.

IF YOU WOULD LIKE PROFESSIONAL HELP CRAFTING YOUR PERSONAL PROFILE, PLEASE CALL FOR AN APPT. 619.669.0605 or Nancy R. Fenn

[SERVICE for TYPES: Writing personal profiles that get that special message across to the Soul Mate. $75]

comment on this article