I'm
the IntrovertZCoach and my mission in life is to make sure
that no introverted child today has to go through what my
clients did who grew up in a time when people didn't understand
introversion as a legitimate personality type. I hope you
know by now that there's nothing wrong with being introverted.
It's not something to "get over:. Let me explain.
I
took a cruise last summer on Royal Caribbean’s Rhapsody
of the Seas. I was the enrichment speaker. A woman attended
my lecture who had two teenaged children. I had seen her teens
on the "quiet deck" reading books. In fact, they
were my constant companions during the first days of the cruise.
I, too, spent most of the day reading on the quiet deck. That’s
because I'm an introvert and that's my idea of a cruise.
This
mother complained that her kids weren’t “mixing”.
They attended the teen sessions on the top deck for about
20 minutes and never went back. "Oh, I bet," I laughed.
"They're totally introverts." Much to my surprise,
she acted insulted and became defensive. Her kids weren't
"introverts", they had been raised in another country
and they just didn't make friends easily.
If
this woman would have been open, I could have told her so
many things about her children and what was so "right"
about them. How they were showing all theterrific characteristics
of introverts. Imagine reading when you could be getting into
trouble the way some teens do (!) But she had a negative definition
of introversion and became so defensive, I changed the subject.
The
sad truth is that introverts have been stuck with a self concept
defined by the 70% majority extroverts who think there is
something wrong with them. Introverts are not anti-social
and they are not mentally ill. Far from it. Introverts enjoy
the company of others and are often exceptionally loving,
especially those who are also intuitive, feeling and perceptive
(iNfp's according to the Myers-Briggs© personality types,
called The Healer). If you would like more information about
the eight different types of introverts, please visit keirsey.com.
I'm
sure, you will find it helpful to discover the characteristics
of introverts so you can support your child in a positive
self image.
Here
are 20 characteristics universal to introverts.
Introverts
...
1. love to read
2. have a few close, true friends
3. are excellent listeners
4. do not like to contribute in class
5. give people energy (extroverts take energy)
6. love to go to their room and close the door
7. may be exhausted by the social interaction required during
a typical day at school
8. do not like group work
9. do not learn by repeating things out loud
10. like to connect the dots and insist on turning information
in to knowledge
11. are very territorial
12. like to know about expectations well ahead of time
13. suffer from feelings of humiliation if they make a mistake
in public
14. are intense
15. hate small talk
16. prefer to write rather than talk and especially don’t
like talking on the phone
17. have a private and a public personality
18. say what they mean
19. prefer not to say anything unless it is significant
20. need time alone to recharge their batteries
It is reassuring to know that the higher up the IQ, the greater
the percentage of introverts. As your child progresses in
life, chances are they will encounter a more friendly environment
but you can help them while they’re small to develop
a positive self image. Raising consciousness whenever possible
among teachers and school administrators is also going to
help your child, and other introverted children, to love and
understand themselves better.
