YOLANDA'S
STORY
Read
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YOLANDA
begins her story like this.
I
have slowly come to learn just how I became an unhealthy introvert.
It all began in elementary school. Many kids were deeply jealous
of my acceleration in academics, and they piled insult on
top of insult out of their hatred.
I
in turn withdrew from them more because I accepted the irrational
expectation that EVERYONE was targeting me as their next victim
of emotional assault. On top of that, I was also physically
abused by my first grade teacher in front of the entire class,
which compounded my sense of inadequacy and tendency to withdraw
from humans.
The
child who had suffered abuse from kids working collectively
against her had somehow taken residence in the adult. I saw
no reason why people wouldn't want to verbally attack me,
so in order to avoid what I expected, I avoided interaction
with people altogether. This unhealthy form of introversion
is mere selfishness.
I realize now that as a young adult, I am having to interact
with other adults, so if insults do come my way, it is only
because that individual is acting like a child, and a troublesome
child at that.
One of my main concerns is that many extroverts in the U.S.
have a strong tendency to use their excess verbiage for emotionally
brutal purposes. For example, extroverts have often asked,
me, "Do you EVER talk?" when they know they have
heard me literally talk on several occasions.
This question only leads me to believe that the person who
poses it may do so out of 1)arrogance-thinking that his/her
personality is the only acceptable kind 2)carelessness for
the introvert's feelings, or 3)a conscious effort to demean
the introvert's genuine personhood.
Despite
the struggles I have gone through, I am thankful that I am
wired as an introvert because of the profound level of understanding
that comes with being an introvert. When I hear people converse,
both introverts and extroverts alike, I involuntarily tune
myself in to the psychological and spiritual undercurrents
of the dialogue, instead of voluntarily (and possibly ignorantly)
putting my two cents in.
When
I took the MBTI, it classified me as an ISTJ, which let me
know why I have a desire to protect people. I've already come
to the conclusion that I need not try to change myself to
make the extroverts happy. As time passes on, I also realize
that I'm not as dysfunctional as people made me out to be.
I'm really a normal person who talks when she feels the need
to and gets along well with others. Some students who generally
talk more that I do have told me that from their perspective,
they don't think I'm quiet or mousy. I've estimated that I'm
80% introverted and 20% extroverted. In any case, I know without
a doubt that being an introvert is perfectly fine.
Have
you come out? What was it like? How does it feel? PLEASE LET
ME KNOW IF YOU'D LIKE TO CONTRIBUTE AN ARTICLE IN YOUR
OWN WORDS! Most of my readers say these are the most helpful
items on the site ... when someone else puts into words what
you've been thinking all this time. Give it a try and help
someone else come out.
