Introversion
is a legitimate personality style, not a failure to be an
extrovert. This is an important distinction and your understanding
of it will help you to accept your introverted child and
support him or her in building a positive self image. We
used to think that people who were introverted were anti-social
and unhappy. Now we know differently.
Much
of our understanding about introversion comes from the work
done by Swiss psychiatrist, Carl Jung, himself a gifted
intuitive introvert. Like most introverts, Jung had a rich
inner world. Even as a child he had wisdom, insights, numinous
dreams and a questing of the spirit.
In
the introduction to his autobiography, Memories, Dreams,
Reflections, Jung expresses fears that his readers may
be disappointed. Not much happened, he says. Not outwardly.
Like most introverts, Jung's "real world" was
within and from this rich inner world, he gifted us with
many concepts and theories which are still being explored
today.
Not
all introverts are intuitive like Jung. There are actually
8 different kinds of introverts. It will be exciting to
find out which category best describes your boy or girl!
A
word of caution. Temperament is not really quantifiable
(measurable). In order to find out whether you are an introvert
or an extrovert, you have to have observed behavior over
a long period of time, so it is really an ongoing process.
There are two popular tests that can help adults determine
temperament. These tests are the Myers-Briggs® Type
Indicator and the Keirsey Temperament Sorter II. These "tests"
ask "yes" or "no" questions based on
your own observations of yourself, such as:
1.The
more people you speak to, the better you feel. (yes or no)
2.You
are more of a listener than a speaker. (yes or no)
3.When
the phone rings you are the first to answer it. (yes or
no)
4.You
find it hard to be engaged in a project that requires your
undivided attention. (yes or no)
As
you can see, these questions are subjective. No test can
describe the infinite variation of qualities that make up
a person's nature but these tests can help us to understand
ourselves better.
If
you would like to try one of these for yourself, I recommend
the Keirsey Temperament Sorter because you can take it on
line, it is free and it is easy to understand. You can take
the Sorter HERE.
Personality
inventories like the MBTI® and Keirsey Sorter are for
adults. How can you tell if your child is introverted?
If
your child is very young, you can tell by whether they move
toward stimuli such as people and things or away from them.
Stimuli include, for example, clowns, visiting grandparents,
pets, noisemakers, animals at the zoo, whirring fans, lights
and clocks. Extroverted babies and toddlers move toward
these things. Introverted babies and toddlers move away
from them. As you can see, this is a very basic difference
in people almost from the moment of birth and you can observe
it for yourself.
You're
probably pretty sure your child is an introvert or you wouldn't
be reading this article, so let's take a look at the 8 different
kinds of introverts.
I
will use Keirsey's descriptions of the personality types
because they are easy to understand. You can learn more
about them at KEIRSEY.COM
.
Let's
see which one of these 8 types sounds like your child.
GUARDIANS
1.
GUARDIANS value belonging to a group or community.
They maintain stability through responsible, conservative
and traditional behavior.
GUARDIANS
make up about 40-45% of the general population. There are
two types of introverted GUARDIANS, Inspectors and Protectors.
*
Inspectors watch out for the institutions of society. These
thorough and orderly people are interested in legalities
and standardization.
Famous
Inspectors are George Washington, Harry Truman and Warren
Buffet.
INSPECTOR
children may be quite possessive of the toys and people
in their lives and have an above average awareness of insiders
vs. outsiders.
The
worst thing you can do to a child like this is make them
treat everybody as equal.
*
Protectors are serious people who care about the downtrodden
and dedicate their lives to caring for them. The worse thing
you can do to a child like this is try to make them "lighten
up".
Famous
Protectors are Queen Elizabeth II and Mother Theresa.
PROTECTOR
children may good safety guards at street-crossings, help
the teacher by "tutoring" slower students and
may be given other extra responsibilities in school because
of their seriousness.
The
worst thing you can do to these children is imply that they
couldn't handle something like lunch money or keeping a
new jacket clean.
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ARTISANS
2.
ARTISANS value freedom and spontaneity. They want
to be without constraint, at liberty to act on their impulses,
play and create.
ARTISANS
make up about 35-40% of the general population. There are
two types of introverted ARTISANS, Crafters and Composers.
*
Crafters master tools, anything from a piano to a potter's
wheel to a paint brush to a supersonic jet.
Famous
Crafters are Katherine Hepburn, Bruce Lee and Michael Jordan.
CRAFTER
children are intense about projects like helping you set
the table or raking leaves in the backyard.
The
worst thing you can do to these children is rush them or
force them to end their projectand put it away before they
have lost interest in it.
*
Composers create by staying in close touch with the five
senses and the world around them. They often express themselves
in the "fine arts".
Famous
Composers are Mozart and Steven Spielberg.
COMPOSER
children are drawn to musical instruments, song, dance,
costumes and make believe. They may prefer symbolic and
inspiring stories such as King Arthur and the Knights
of the Round Table to stories about contemporary children.
The
worst thing you can do to these children is limit their
exposure to creative outlets.
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IDEALISTS
3.
IDEALISTS value personal growth, authenticity and
integrity. They yearn to develop themselves fully as individuals
and facilitate growth in others.
IDEALISTS
make up about 5-10% of the population. There are two types
of introverted IDEALISTS, Counselors and Healers.
*
Counselors are ethical and empathic. They focus on human
potential.
Famous
Counselors are Carl Jung, Jane Goodall and Mohandas Gandhi.
The
child COUNSELOR will be guileless about telling the truth
and will sense the truth about others. These children often
know what works for people and what doesn't. It is not unusual
for them to stand up for smaller siblings or a child who
is being picked on. They have a good sense about future
events and when asked without judgment, they may be able
to put it into words.
The
worst thing you can do to a child like this is deny their
reality because they are being socially inappropriate.
*
Healers care deeply for a few special people in their lives
or for a favorite cause. They strive to bring peace and
integrity into the world and usually seem quite serene,
though they are actually very passionate.
Famous
Healers are Albert Schweitzer and Mia Farrow. The author
of this article is also a Healer.
The
HEALER child shows a concern for people and animals that
far transcends their age. Parents often find children like
this a great solace. One of my clients calls her son her
"lodestone" because he has such a calming effect
on her.
The
worst thing you can do to a child like this is take advantage
of their tender hearts by burdening them with problems beyond
their years.
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RATIONALS
3.
RATIONALS value competence and intelligence. They
strive to learn, know, predict and control the resources
in their environment.
RATIONALS
make up about 5-10% of the general population. There are
two kinds of introverted RATIONALS, the Mastermind and the
Architect.
*
Masterminds are the ultimate pragmatists. They like to test
their strategies against reality and make contingency plans.
Famous
Masterminds are Isaac Newton and Friedrich Nietzsche.
MASTERMIND
children are often bright little scientists who prefer to
manipulate data and experiment with ideas than relate to
people. They are the kids who love puzzle books, riddles,
word diagrams and mysteries.
The
worst thing you can do to these children is make them spend
a lot of time with other people or harp to much on "social
skills".
*
Architects experiment with the spatiality of things. They
look at the universe as raw material to be shaped according
to their designs.
Famous
Architects are Albert Einstein and Charles Darwin (also
the architect Howard Roark in Ayn Rand's novel, "The
Fountainhead").
Little
ARCHITECT children often build whole worlds of their own.
They enjoy a certain type of imaginative play in which they
are actually building other realities.
The
worst thing you can do to children like this is to negate
their perceptions. All worlds are possible in the mind.
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Introverts
as a whole make up less than 30% of the population but as
IQ rises, so does the percentage of introverts. As you can
see, introverts make contributions to the world far in excess
of their numbers.
I
have prepared a list of books which have a main character
who is an introvert to help you understand introverted characteristics
in action. You can visit this list HERE.
I
also have a list of children's books that treat the nature
of introversion sensitively. You can visit this list HERE.
